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Dustin, 2/11/23

Dustin’s scrunched up face of glee in the final panel is honestly one of the saddest things I’ve ever seen. “Oh, man, my dad is really being a huge asshole … to someone else for a change. This is the greatest day of my life! For now.”

Mary Worth, 2/11/23

I’ve been reading Mary Worth every day for more than 20 years, and I feel confident in saying that “I forgave Wilbur. I just don’t want to date him anymore!” is the most emotionally mature thing anyone in the strip has ever said, by several orders of magnitude.

Beetle Bailey, 2/11/23

Ha ha, it’s funny because Sarge does have a compulsive eating disorder but doesn’t have any friends!

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Folks! Your comment of the week in a moment, but first: If you’re in LA TONIGHT, February 10, you can get some more laffs from me, live and in person! That’s because my live comedy show, The Internet Read Aloud, back on its new day (the second Friday of the month) and a new time (8:30 pm) but the same place (The Clubhouse in Los Feliz) and the same shtick (jokes about the Internet). Here’s the Facebook event!

And now … your comment … of the week!

“I love how they invented a letter that’s EXTRA capitalized for Shepherd, to make it stand out from all the normal capital letters, because otherwise how is it clear that Dolly/Grandma means JESUS and not just some outdoorsy boredom-proof menial? I don’t mean I ‘love’ it, but I noticed it. Actually it kinda feels like cheating.” –Twinkles the Elf

And your hilarious runners up!

“We know what Dolly’s real game is here: If Jeffy ever learns to count past 5, he’ll be the smartest one in the family.” –BigTed

“The ‘ shepherd,’ of course, is what the Keanes call Carfentanil, a powerful sedative used to calm large animals. If it can help you handle an angry elephant, it’ll put Jeffy down for a good 24 to 48 hours.” –Voshkod

“Count Weirdly could prevent the next five Rachel Rabbit accusations by sending his big snake out to her clothesline. It looks hungry enough.” –Baja Gaijin

“There are countless volatile liquids that have a boiling point well below that of water so the boiling flask isn’t necessarily a sign that Weirdly is lying. Don’t mess with things you don’t understand, Slylock, and by that I mean basic chemistry.” –Spunky The Wonder Squid

“I got side-tracked by the purple thing. It’s a scrotum, right? Is it Weirdly’s own detached and semi-sentient scrotum, or is it an auto-scrotum? Either way it’s a fine example of Weirdly not consulting any kind of bio-ethicist at all.” –Lothar+of+the+Hill+People

“In today’s modern hyperconnected global economy, Hootin’ Holler’s whimsically ramshackle wooden fences are shipped flat pack from a Chinese gigafactory and its moonshine is distilled by a Luxembourg-owned conglomerate’s plant in Romania from bulk carrier loads of grain from the Horn of Africa. Eligible bachelors are the only thing still produced locally, and even that will change as developing economies rapidly upskill their fledgling hillbilly industries.” –Schroduck

“A resident of Hootin’ Holler pondering economics? Or a representative of the small Hootin’ Holler BDSM community? The latter seems more likely.” –nescio

“Today we learn that Dennis is less menacing than a lack of dietary fiber. This seems intuitively correct, and I will not question it.” –pastordan

“So we’re all agreed that Sophie is still beating the stuffing out the judge just off panel as his drug addiction is calmly explained, right?” –Old Man Shadow

“At first, I thought that small person was supposed to be a child; but now I realize he’s elderly Mickey Rooney, if Mickey Rooney were still alive and allowed to play baseball at such an advanced age. Watch that hip, Mickey!” –The Mighty Untrained FOOZLE

“Chance Billy would blatantly insult a grandparent: 100%. Chance Billy would know the difference between an upright and a grand piano: 0%.” –PetroDude

That’s the 15th turnover for VT! How will they handle this? They’ve eaten all the apple ones, and the cherry ones are notorious for staining the uniforms!” –Peanut Gallery

“You’re a plugger if you can’t dress yourself anymore.” –Tabby Lavalamp

“The only reason that the women of Hootin’ Holler would waste valuable bread by tossing it to ducks would be to lure them close enough for the women to grab them, wring their necks, and take them home to serve for supper. Today’s strip can be read to mean that for tonight’s supper the Smiths sadly will have no bread to eat, but on the positive side they will finally get enough fiber.” –seismic-2

Remember: If you want an ad-free version of this site sent to you every day via email, for $3 a month you can become a Comics Curmudgeon newsletter subscriber! And if you never want to see banner ads on this site, and want to get cool comment-editing features to boot, for the same low price you can become a Comics Curmudgeon website subscriber! And if you just want to give me money directly, you can put some scratch in my tip jar, or back me on Patreon! Thanks to all for your support and readership!

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Gil Thorp, 2/10/23

Huh, so I guess while Coach Martinez reigns supreme in football, in basketball he must answer to “Coach Kim,” who I assume his delivering his line here with gutting, icy disdain. The coaching hierarchy remains mysterious! Not exactly sure how Luke’s Thorbsession has led to today’s disastrous Valley Tech performance, though. Maybe the team had set aside one practice to master “not throwing the ball to the other team” but Luke never showed up because he was busy powerflexing in the mirror or something.

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 2/10/23

Look, man, I don’t claim to know everything about the gender politics of Hootin’ Holler, but I feel like I’ve spent more time thinking about the worldbuilding of this strip generally than just about anyone else, and I’m confident in saying that the menfolk do not let their wives tag along on fishing trips. The whole point of the fishing trip is to create segregated homosocial spaces, and also avoid being nagged about not having a job. I refute this!

Pluggers, 2/10/23

I stared at this a long time wondering if pluggers think a turtleneck is like a backwards shirt, but I think the joke is just that pluggers’ necks are bigger now than they were 40+ years ago — or, in the case of the plugger on display here, that they now simply have no neck at all.