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Monday night is COTW time ’round these parts, but I have a couple of items of possible interest to you before we get to that. First off is this awesome pic from faithful and very pregnant reader Jennifer, preparing to train her baby in the ways of Mark Trail by means of an Official Fist o’ Justice T-shirt!

Jennifer sent me this picture a couple of days ago, so for all I know she could be giving birth RIGHT NOW! Anyone in range of that Trailian fist, know this: When she says she wants the pain meds, you give her the pain meds. And once the kid’s arrived, don’t forget, Jennifer: there’s an infant version available!

Also! You may recall that a few days ago that Jamaal of Herb and Jamaal, in his litany of signs of his alienation from his fellow man, made passing reference to “no blog replies.” Faithful reader Mike Podgorski took this to the logical next step, and created A “Blog” About Things, in which Jamaal can finally find his voice. Sadly, there are very few comments as of yet, no doubt reinforcing the big lug’s self-loathing. Mike is also the man behind the Amazing Spider-Blog, which focuses on Spidey’s inane newspaper adventures; I’m not sure if I’ve mentioned it here before, but it definitely deserves a look!

And now, without further ado — it’s COTW TIME!

“Poor Toby — wandering aimlessly around the Hotel California-like environs of Charterstone, sentenced to a pointless existence as a beard for her bear of a husband, deriving sad pleasure from meddling in the stilted courtship ritual of two senior citizens. I make it sound more interesting than it really is.” –trey le parc

This comment was painstakingly selected from our almost-as-funny finalists:

“This week’s Rex Morgan plot seems like the world’s most complicated teen-STD lesson. ‘You know, kids, every time you wrestle on a mat, it’s like you’re wrestling with everyone who’s ever wrestled on that mat before.'” –BigTed

“After Rex talks to the security guard, he meets June and Carol in the gym! I do not think that warrants exclamation marks! But we’re getting them anyway!” –Bootsy

“Alan is quite the foppish crackhead. ‘Now, to abscond with my purloined bills and beat a hasty path to the door of that rakish purveyor of contraband pharmaceuticals. My central nervous system shall be well and truly stimulated within the hour.'” –Ned Ryerson

“I’m willing to endure as many ‘Look at all the shoe stores — no wonder they call it Broads-way!’ and ‘There’s too many minorities!’ jokes as Batuik and Ayers can throw my way as long as this storyline holds the remote possibility of Crankshaft getting mugged. It will be a fitting end to his RAPIER WIT. Because he’ll be stabbed. Repeatedly.” –Fat Charlie

“Of course, Ron’s ‘good news’ is he’s re-evaluated his life thanks to Mary’s sage council and he’s getting back together with his ex. Now Mary gets to taste the bitter tea leaves of poetic justice, spritzed lightly with the acerbic lemon of irony.” –A Lemur

“I’ve finally figured out what Frank Bolle’s A3G artwork reminds me of: the illustrated emergency exit instructions you find in airplanes. No matter how dire the straits of the dope-addled junkie, he exhibits the vacant smile and pressed collar of a mannequin in a Macy’s catalog.” –minor flood

“I think Margo set the Wedding March to play when Tommie calls, with the dual purpose of cruelly mocking the hapless redhead and reassuring herself that she is not actually the MOST pathetic person in the universe.” –Violet

[In response to speculation that Margo wants to get married because her biological clock is ticking]: “Sadly, sperm shriek and kill themselves at the thought of entering Margo’s uterus and the horrible, naked, ringless egg that awaits them. The hardier ones actually refuse to leave their host, clinging to whatever they can, preferring the relatively merciful death by post-coital urination to the horrors that lie Over There.” –Paul1963

“‘Grassroots political activities’ = ExxonMobil astroturf campaign, from the looks of that haircut.” –BCist

“I suppose it’s a tired point, but Judge Parker should really be retitled Sexy People Doing Boring Things.” –Bunnë, Official Comic Execrator

“It would be the greatest thing ever should Grampa Jim pull a Farley at the Granthony-Lizardbreath nuptials. Which, of course, must go on while Deanna (who gets all the icky jobs, like being married to Michael) has to wheel the body out.” –Mac

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Mark Trail, 6/9/08

Is it just me or is Cherry actually looking a little excited about Kelly Welly coming to Lost Forest and asking her do things that might be outside of her comfort zone? With Mark once again dropping by for thirty seconds, talking to her like she’s eleven years old (just because you’re an emotionally arrested man-child doesn’t mean everybody is, Mark), and then fleeing into the woods, poor Cherry needs to have her fun somehow. Admittedly, girl-on-girl action in Mark Trail would be among the least hot girl-on-girl action in any daily comic strip (not as sexy as it would be in Herb and Jamaal, but probably sexier than it would be in Cathy), but anything’s gotta be more interesting than Mark handing out free puppies to sad little girls.

For Better Or For Worse, 6/9/08

Oh, it’s ever so appropriate that Liz will be finally shoved headlong into the spiritual and emotional death that her marriage to Anthony represents by the looming specter of her grandfather’s actual death. That’s the great circle of death, is what that is.

Judge Parker, 6/9/08

“Bales and bales of awesome weed … all gone! That’s the sad part. Oh, I promised myself I wouldn’t cry…”

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Gosh darn it, those Sunday strips are so big! With my feeble attention span, I could only focus on these small bits of them:

Panel from Mark Trail, 6/8/08

Hmm, there were 50,000 grizzlies in North America, but now there are about 1,200 … plus another 30,000 in Alaska? Apparently the Russians, not satisfied with merely reversing the political consequences of the Alaska Purchase, are secretly in the midst of building a canal down the Alaska-Canada border and using the resulting dirt to fill in the Bering Strait, thus making the grizzy-rich Seward’s Icebox a part of Asia! Mark Trail’s gonna have to punch a lot of Russkies to stop this.

Panels from Shoe, 6/8/08

The philosophical implications of Roz’s first statement here — “I hate time” — sort of boggle my mind. Does she hate time as an abstract concept? Does she wish that everything happened at once? Is she actually opposed to entropy, which scientists call “time’s arrow”? These intellectual musings serve to distract you from her statement in the second panel, which, given that Shoe takes place in an all-bird milieu, we must take quite literally: Roz has horribly mutilated one of her fellow avians and is wearing its feet as some kind of grisly trophy. Her “somewhere” implies that she doesn’t even know the whereabouts of her hapless victim, implying that she committed her ghastly crime in a fugue state — so perhaps it’s “lost time” that she really has a beef with.

Panel from Rex Morgan, M.D., 6/8/08

Speaking of philosophical dilemmas, Rex is about to find out just how hard it is prove a negative. “See, here’s my ID, which says, ‘Rex Morgan, M.D., a doctor, and totally 100 percent not a cop.'”

Panel from Family Circus, 6/8/08

Ha ha! Jeffy is terrifying his little brother with some kind of horrific demon mask! Oh, it’s all fun and games until Daddy finds out he’s been poking around in the Ritual Room again.

Panel from Slylock Fox, 6/8/08

“She is convinced that Shady Shrew is the nut-grabber.” Oh, well played, sir.

UPDATE: Oops, that’s actually “nut-nabber.” Curse you, tiny type and failing eyes! I like my version better anyway.