Comment of the Week

I'm really uncomfortable with the way Truck is breaking the fourth wall here. 'Are you this guy's father? You, the reader? Well, if I remember my Roland Barthes then, yes, indeed, you could be described as a metaphorical parent to both of us...’

Spunky The Wonder Squid

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Rex Morgan, M.D., 6/21/07

My biggest genuine laugh in today’s comics came in the final panel of Rex Morgan, M.D., when I saw whose names were on that bottle of pedestrian red wine. Graham Nolan likes to play around with his signature spots, but this is probably the best one yet.

Speaking of panel three, June appears to be trying her best to give Heather a run for her money when it comes to lingering stares that are both sexy and soul-destroyingly icy. Hugh just seems to bring that out in the ladies. ’Cause OH NO YOU DO NOT CALL GIRLFRIEND’S WINE SELECTION “PEDESTRIAN.”

They’ll Do It Every Time, 6/21/07

I’m not sure if “total and continuous failure to recognize one’s own inadequacies” really falls into the classic TDIET ironic-twist template. I do have to say that I kind of enjoy the cartoonish overreaction of father and son in the first panel, in which they’re literally spitting out their food all over the table. However, what really caught my eye was the submitter: could this be Mary Worth artist Joe Giella? And if so, why doesn’t the submission reflect that? “Big shot editor at the syndicate says he wants you to ‘sex up’ your older comic heroine (‘Make her younger … thinner too … baby blue eyes … great gams … etc.’) … but what happens when the letters start rolling in? (‘Deeply disturbing … not in keeping with the strip I’ve read loyally for 50 years … I want to tear out my eyes’) … OH YEAH!”

Slylock Fox, 6/21/07

I’m pretty sure that “blue” puddle under the baby has been colored wrong.

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Apartment 3-G, 6/20/07

I’m very excited that Apartment 3-G has torn itself away from Roommate In A Coma to instead explore some queasy-making intrafamilial sexual ick. It’s becoming clear that Nora Mills, who as near as I can tell is supposed to be the widow of Eric’s brother, has clearly got a taste for Mills men that only another Mills man can satisfy. Questions remain: Is Eric’s Katy’s real father? Did Eric choose Margo as a romantic partner because she and Nora essentially look exactly alike? Will Nora and Margo settle this with icy glares and cutting remarks, fists, or shivs? Is that RING RING RING the most exciting panel-to-panel transition in Apartment 3-G history? And, what with Katy’s hair having grown back, is it possible that Margo’s party planning actually cures cancer?

Dick Tracy, 6/20/07

So Dick Tracy is onto a new baffling and anger-inducing storyline, which so far involves:

  • A wizened old Baron who’s an ex-Communist spy or something
  • His bizarrely leather-faced granddaughter in peril, Gretchen
  • Some bewildering and totally made up post-Soviet pretend politics and intrigue
  • A CIA headquarters building with a “CIA HEADQUARTERS” sign visible from miles away

None of that has been enough to rouse me to comment. However, I do have to say that I appreciate the artist’s bold choice in the third panel to focus the action squarely on Dick Tracy’s crotch.

Mark Trail, 6/20/07

Man, it’s hard to count all the things wrong with today’s Mark Trail, but let’s start with Mark’s casual posture and shit-eating grin in panel one. It says “I’m all relaxed and ready for some phone sex” and not “I just almost got killed and then spent an hour rooting around inside a duck’s intestines.” Then there’s the idea that a two-seater private plane running into a bird is somehow big enough news to travel all the way back to Lost Forest — presumably everything Mark Trail does or says is front page news in the local paper — and the fact that Mark himself didn’t bother to be the one to relay said drama to his wife. There’s the par-for-the-course emphasis problem in Cherry’s first word balloon — that should be “how are you”, not “how are you” — and someone in the syndicate has clearly bowdlerized “that whore” into “the young lady” in panel two. But mostly I’m just disturbed by Cherry’s melting nightmare of a face. PLEASE MARK DON’T MAKE HER SAD ANYMORE IT’S FREAKING ME OUT.

Mary Worth, 6/20/07

More proof that Mary and Jeff are very much not ever getting it on: if Dr. Corey Junior thought for a single moment that there was the slightest sliver of a chance that he might accidentally walk in on the two of them having sex, you can bet that he’d be knocking, very loudly.

Actually, Mary’s pretty lucky that her not-boyfriend’s son arrived when he did. Dr. Jeff really doesn’t want to go this party, and in panel one he’s pretty clearly sizing up his cane as a potential weapon.

Spider-Man, 6/20/07

In any marriage, there’s a certain amount of give and take, compromises two partners have to make so that they can both get what they want, even — or perhaps especially — when it comes to sex. Clearly the Parkers have just finished off a rousing session of healthy marital relations, and, as is their custom, they left the TV on throughout, due to Peter’s insistence on bitching at and about it at all times.

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I keep forgetting to put this picture up, and now that I look at it again, I don’t know why, ’cause it’s so awesome. Yes, that’s faithful reader Moon Mullins in his super-awesome, faithful-reader-willethompson-designed MARGO! BOXCAR! SATURN! t-shirt at this year’s Cannes film festival, under the benevolent gaze of close personal friend Morgan Freeman.

Have you worn your Comics Curmudgeon gear somewhere exciting? Send me a picture! Coming later this week: the epic tale of an epic Scrabble tournament, which involved several Comics Curmudgeon-themed costume changes.

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