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Apartment 3-G, 9/3/06

Ted: I could use some decorating tips.

Tommie: I’m afraid that’s not my strong suit.

Ted: Never mind, because that’s NOT ACTUALLY WHY I’M INVITING YOU UP TO MY APARTMENT. Jesus, you’re dense. How about dinner? Will dinner work? Great. See you at seven. Don’t wear underwear.

Ted at least can pull off his smooth talk without resorting to scare quotes, unlike some people would-be lotharios we could mention…

Mary Worth, 9/3/06

Note that “talk” and its variant “conversation” only appears in pervert-quotes when Aldo uses it. Mary is too forthright to resort to that kind of euphemism. Still, since nobody ever discusses this subject with Mary, we need somebody to just tell it like he means it:

Of course, we all are desperate to know just what it is that Aldo is looking at in the last panel, but sadly we won’t find out until at least Tuesday, since Monday will inevitably be a recap of today, and because Monday is a holiday, Tuesday may need to be a recap of Monday. My guess: a phalanx of cops, or the exhumed corpse of his wife. I’m enjoying the look on Mary’s face in that final panel; she’s thinking, “Oh, Aldo, I didn’t want it to come to this, but, well, you started things: I’m just finishing them.”

For Better Or For Worse, 9/3/06

“You kids are right into the ‘pop culture’?” Christ, even by Canadian standards you couldn’t possibly say anything dorkier than that without collapsing into some sort of black hole of dweebishness. The quote marks are just icing on the cake. No, there’s only one word that can properly describe Dr. P.:

Of course, 4Evah and Eva’s bassist is wearing a turquoise tank top, so maybe they aren’t exactly arbiters of cool themselves.

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Sally Forth and Peanuts, 9/2/06

It’s never particularly fair to compare any comic to Peanuts, but I was struck by the convergence of Ted’s team snatching defeat from the jaws of victory with one of the earlier Charlie-Brown’s-baseball-team-are-losers storylines. This strip again goes to show how routinely Peanuts was probably the bleakest thing not just on the comics pages, but in the entire newspaper. Ted at least is directing his rage outward in an emotionally healthy manner. Presumably the tears and self-recrimination will happen later.

Gil Thorp, 9/2/06

More interesting than the dating etiquette of Milford High students is … well, anything, really, but I’m thinking here of Marty Moon’s sad little face in panel two. “Hey guys, I thought maybe the three of us could hang out … guys? Oh, um, that’s OK, I’ll just go back to my car … I have some booze … I’ll be fine…”

If you’re wondering how Von and Mandy managed to save Marty’s bacon … Ben Franklin figured out pretty quickly that the two of them were pulling some elementary scam, was impressed by their moxie, and cut Moon’s $5,000 debt down to $500. No, I don’t understand it either.

They’ll Do It Every Time, 9/3/06

Note that Lugbutt and his bartender are totally capable of speaking in complete sentences, but that he and his doctor communicate entirely in a disconnected series of proper nouns. For me, the ironic reversal would have been much better if he and the sawbones had spent the whole visit talking about booze. “Beer … malt liquor … scotch … vomiting … rum … cirrhosis of the liver … vodka … etc …”

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Big ups to faithful reader The Ray for being the very first to send in his photographic tribute to Aldomania:

Note that The Ray is not only wearing the shirt, he’s also reading Mary Worth. That’s dedication for you! He claims to have worn the shirt to work, “to the delight (and confusion) of my colleagues.” If you’d like to be more like The Ray, pick up your Aldomania ringer t! Or, if you prefer, you can also get the junior baby doll, baseball jersey, or junior raglan.

Of course, it’s not all Aldomania over at the store. Check out Will, lookin’ good in his black Finger-Quotin’ Margo t:

Those t-shirts are of course still available as well. And once you’ve purchased them, you’d better send me some pics of you in ’em! Will and The Ray have joined the pantheon of models in the sidebar — will you be next?