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Well, the suspense is over and I’ve picked the winner. I have to say that it was incredibly hard and part of the reason that I’ve taken so long to pick the winner is that they were all so good. In a very real sense, you’re all winners! But in an even realer sense, only one of you is the winner, and that one of you is “Lucy Van Pelt,” whose entry just seemed to exude a certain je ne sais Margo to me. For mug purposes, I’ve filled in her word balloon:

And yes, this mug is now available at my store at CafePress! Click here to order yours! Lucy herself will of course be getting a free mug in the mail.

In addition, as promised, Dave Willis‘s super-awesome Margo Warhol graphic is going on a t-shirt:

The colors of this graphic seem to work perfectly with CafePress’s new black t-shirt. They’ve just introduced black tees at CafePress and say they can’t guarantee delivery times. Hopefully it won’t take too long, as I’m definitely ordering one of these for myself!

Again, judging this contest was really, really hard for me, and of course my final decision was to a certain extent arbitrary. Perhaps you’d like to see one of the other contestants on a mug or garment of your choice! If so, just e-mail me and I’ll send you a high-quality image of any of the other photos and drawings submitted. (Here’s the lot of them, for reference.) You can then upload them to CafePress yourself and make your own counter-winner. You’ll stick it to the man! (Meaning me.)

Since I was updating my store anyway, I took the opportunity to do a little housecleaning. I’ve added a couple of new shirt styles. The first is for anyone who loves double entendres and public domain clip art.

Work it, people, work it! (If this baffles you, click here and scroll down for the context for this quote.) This shirt is available for the gents and the ladies.

And, finally, if you want to cement your status as an above-it-all hipster with a t-shirt bearing an incomprehensible slogan, check this out:

Wear this shirt to remind you where to find more information about licorice. (Again, you can click here to learn more about learning more about licorice, but it doesn’t make a ton more sense in context.) This t-shirt is great fun for a boy or a girl.

There are still classic Comics Curmudgeon garments at the store, of course: Brick House exercise gear, a Fence Post Frank hat, Canadian Jive-Talkin’ intimate wear, and, of course, “More Zippers, Mule!” Check it out!

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For Better Or For Worse, 7/2/06

I admit it: In addition to being a judgmental bastard, I’m a capricious bastard. How else can you explain the fact that I found Grandpa Foob’s last sexual fantasy sequence horrifying and distasteful, while I was mildly charmed by this one? Maybe it’s because instead of hoping to be rubbed down by nubile slave girls, he’s imagining relatively innocent pursuits, like dancing at arm’s length, holding hands in the general vicinity of pert young rear ends, or sharing incredibly phallic ice cream cones. Maybe I’m impressed that he’s daring to dream about a blonde-brunette three-way, or at least about driving to one. Maybe it’s because the strip dramatically illustrates the fact that, no matter what our age, we’re always young and virile in our own minds, our chins firm and manly, with only a slight cleft pointing the way to their scrotum-like future.

Meanwhile, in Rex Morgan, M.D., Rex is wearing a kind of gay robe.

Going over my old posts, I’ve noticed a trend with me and Rex Morgan: I get all excited about every new storyline and inevitably have fun with it for the first few weeks; then suddenly the air goes out if it and I lose
interest. The last few weeks in this strip have involved a punk-haired girl killing Harry and taking over the blackmailing biz and … a partial fingerprint … and … something about arthritis … damn, I can’t even work up the energy to write a summary. But I offer Rex in his classy robe here as a reminder of happier times.

(Speaking of robes, what the hell is June wearing? At first I thought she had one of those little trays that hook over your neck, like an old-timey cigarette girl, which she was pretending to be in a desperate and doomed attempt to get Rex’s attention. But I suspect she’s just wearing a robe festooned with the exact same cheesy pattern as the top underneath it. More troubling is the hand at the bottom of the frame, which appears to be protruding from her torso.)

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The Phantom, 7/1/06

“What’s he up to?” Well, if I had to guess, O Ghost Who Overthinks Things, I’d have to say that he’s planning to get into his helicopter gunship and machine-gun you to death from the air, where you can’t punch him. He’s just narrating his schemes aloud like any other comic-book villain; there’s no reason to dig deeper.

What exactly his that weird flap of skin between Chatu’s left arm and ripped torso? Did he lose a lot of weight recently? Is this whole escapade an attempt to get enough cash to afford cosmetic surgery?

Spider-Man, 7/1/06

First, Spidey accuses Narna of attempted murder. Now he’s downgraded his suspicions to vandalism. Pretty soon he’s going to battle her to stop her from thinking negative thoughts about his wife.