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Mary Worth, 9/9/25

Mary Worth’s use of bold font is … let’s say, unconventional, but I do think that Olive’s word balloon in the second panel being entirely boldfaced strongly suggests that she’s started belting out “New York, New York” at the top of her lungs, right? Fun fact: the song she’s singing here, which is performed in the 1944 musical On The Town by Gene Kelly, Jules Munshin, and Frank Sinatra, is called “New York, New York,” while the “start spreading the news” song is technically called “Theme from New York, New York,” and was originally sung by Liza Minelli in Martin Scorsese’s 1977 musical before Sinatra did a cover version that became iconic. Kinda weird, right? Where was I going with this? Oh, right: if I were on a plane and a child started loudly singing “New York, New York” (either of the two, frankly), I would attempt to open the emergency exit mid-flight so I could jump out and plummet to my blessed death.

Mother Goose and Grimm, 9/9/25

So, uh, Mother Goose is just kind of … standing around in the middle of the Y and, uh, swinging her interlocked fists around while wearing a bikini? And she’s judging the people doing yoga, who are, to be fair, three people standing so close as to be touching one another doing downward dog (?) without any kind of mats or anything? Not sure if anyone involved in the production of this comic has seen someone do yoga, or ever been to a gym, or watched videos of anyone exercising. I guess that “Twister” zinger was too hard to resist, though!

Archie, 9/9/25

Damn, I never had Dilton pegged as an Archie hater. Is he just doing it to appease Reggie? It’s sad when you see a man of science succumb to peer pressure like this.

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The Lockhorns, 9/8/25

Now, one of Loretta’s running gripes with Leroy is that he doesn’t make enough money for her tastes, so we can be certain that her shoe spending allowance could not have been the difference between profitability and insolvency for this store. We must assume that this is Leroy doing yet another bit as part of their long-running marital conflict. Not sure if we’re meant to understand that she’s just off-panel, seething, or if she’s not even there and he’s just doing what needs to be done to make sure there’s a baseline level of anti-Loretta sentiment in the community.

Andy Capp, 9/8/25

Are you, an American, worried that you’ll attend a snooker tournament at some point in the future and you won’t be up on the lingo? Fear not: thanks to Andy Capp, you now know that you can casually say to a companion, about someone doing well, “Boy, he [or she, I assume women are allowed to play snooker] can sure pot those balls!” The comics really are a source of cultural enrichment and must be protected as a medium, possibly with a generous government subsidy.

Mary Worth, 9/8/25

“I too would enjoy the trip, but not so much that I’m going to make up any kind of specific reason why I can’t go. See you whenever!”

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Mary Worth, 9/7/25

I myself am not a parent and don’t presume to fully understand how they have to balance between fiercely protecting their children and also allowing them autonomy to follow their own goals and desires. Would I let my tween daughter travel across the country with some nice old lady who used to be my neighbor? I could see good reasons for going either way, but I’ll tell you one thing: I would definitely nail down whether this trip is one week or two before I signed off on it. That’s just common sense! Especially since her mother and I would be using her absence as an opportunity to have sex more often, I’d want to know when she’s coming back. She probably has a key and could just let herself in the apartment!

Beetle Bailey, 9/7/25

Joshreads dot com oldheads remember that years ago Lt. Fuzz turning blue was a coloring error and a sign of declining standards at the syndicate. Today, Sgt. Snorkel turning blue is a joke about how he’d rather suffer self-induced hypoxia and the resulting brain damage than simply deal with his commanding officer in a mature and respectful manner, and a sign of an entirely different kind of declining standards at the syndicate.

Panel from The Lockhorns, 9/7/25

There are tons of Lockhorns jokes about Leroy drunkenly flirting with blondes twice as tall as he is, so I’m glad the strip is finally acknowledging that Loretta, too, is sometimes horny. Her little quip doesn’t exactly make sense — is she saying that she’s going to commit this man’s rippling, muscular bod to memory so she can revisit it over and over again in her mind palace? — but it’s a good first step.

Marvin, 9/7/25

Wait, this robot yearns to play with Marvin and is overjoyed at the prospect of it? The AI haters are right, this is an evil technology that must be stopped now.