Post Content

Mary Worth, 7/21/22

A lot of you commentors have interpreted my endless rage against Jared as indicating that I somehow don’t think Dawn is a bad girlfriend. Dawn is in fact a bad girlfriend! I just don’t mention it that much because the behavior in the strip that’s supposed to indicate that Dawn is a bad girlfriend is in fact bad behavior, whereas the behavior in the strip that’s supposed to indicate that Jared is a great guy is in face incredibly off-putting. Anyway, Dawn is getting the business from her friend Cathy, who’s telling Dawn what’s what in between enormous bites of salad. We’ve already established that this Cathy is at least the second Cathy Dawn’s been friends with, so maybe we’re about to get to the part where Dawn friend-dumps her and moves on to another Cathy who hopefully will never call her out on her bullshit, and the cycle can begin anew.

Daddy Daze, 7/21/22

Wow, it turns out that the Daddy Daze daddy’s goth pal is actually his next door neighbor. Which tracks, honestly? Can you imagine him maintaining a relationship with someone he doesn’t just run into accidentally all the time?

Post Content

Blondie, 7/20/22

One of my least favorite running bits in this strip is when Dagwood and his work friends enact some elaborate scenario to match up with whatever pan-cultural event or sports championship or anniversary is on the big calendar hanging on the wall over at Blondie HQ. But I really appreciate how this strip subverted my expectations: I genuinely thought the final panel would be some dumb scene with people in homemade spacesuits or whatever but instead it’s just Dithers saying “Get it? He’s a big lazy dipshit! Just look at him. Doesn’t really have anything to do with the moon, I just wanted an excuse to point that out.”

Six Chix, 7/20/22

I genuinely appreciate the scenario being laid out here: that this is a sophisticated vampire bar where humans are killed and drained of their blood (presumably not in that order) in the kitchen so that the clientele can just enjoy their sustenance in a civilized way from glassware without having to fight for it for once, but Vlad and his newfangled vegan vampirism is so repellent to the proprietors that they just threw coffin full of oranges at him and were like “Here, you figure it out, you sick freak.”

Post Content

Mary Worth, 7/19/22

You know, you hear a lot these days about “reboots” this and “dark and edgy” that, while media properties like Mary Worth that have just kind of soldiered along in a straight line for decades mostly get written off as old and stale. But I ask you: can you imagine anything darker and edgier than a story where a woman gets beaten up in a random attack and falls for her physician’s assistant but is convinced he’s not sexually attracted to her because she’s still bruised from her beating, and also the physician’s assistant in question is a monumentally unpleasant Star Wars dork/”nice guy” manipulator? This strip should be rated X for the X-treme emotional distress it’s inspiring in me.

Zits, 7/19/22

Look, everyone, I get it: you want your comic strip to reflect (vaguely) current trends, but you don’t feel like watching all of Bridgerton, Netflix’s hottest (?) show. Still, you feel like you’ve heard enough about it to, you know, get the gist. It’s like Jane Austen-ish, right? But racially inclusive, somehow? Probably people are doing themed weddings? Chicks like it? Including moms? Anyway, I too have not watched this show, but if you are going to do jokes about it in setting up a plot about a Bridgerton-themed wedding, I would urge you to at least read the Wikipedia article to learn how much of it is about jizz.

Funky Winkerbean, 7/19/22

Say, kids, what’s more exciting than an old man telling a long rambling story about that time he tried and failed to get a job writing Prince Valiant? Well, turns out it’s an old man telling a long rambling story about that time he tried and failed to get a job writing Prince Valiant and realizing partway through that he’s forgotten quite a bit of it.

Shoe, 7/19/22

“That’s mostly because I break into other people’s houses to watch. I save a lot on streaming services, and it’s a lot more exciting!”