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Crankshaft, 8/25/22

I love Jeff’s sly little smile in the second panel here. He seems to be saying “Ha ha, the ladies, amiright? Can’t live with ’em (because you’ll die in a fire), can’t live without ’em (because they have the keys to the storage unit).”

Shoe, 8/25/22

I love the Perfesser’s bird-lady date’s exhausted facial expression in the second panel. The dialogue here is “Ha ha, the ladies, amiright? They just love to argue for the sake of hearing an argument!” But her face tells a very different story, which is “Please let me die.”

Mary Worth, 8/25/22

“Do I want to what? No, see that’s exactly the opposite of what was supposed to happen with this … uhh [makes static noises with her mouth] uhhh you’re breaking up Jared, I’m going into a tunnel [static noises continue]”

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Funky Winkerbean, 8/24/22

This week’s Funky Winkerbean is about Holly and Funky going to their high school reunion, which I think is hilarious, and to be clear, I mean that not in the sense of “this comic strip, which aims to make people laugh via jokes, is succeeding, because it’s so hilarious,” but rather in a cruel and mocking way. It’s hilarious (derogatory) because these people hang out with the people they went to high school with all time. Seriously! Is there any major recurring character in this strip who they didn’t go to high school with, other than the ones who are the children of the people they went ot high school with? So I’m not sure why they would go, but I’m also not sure why the idea of going would be so emotionally fraught, since they’re just going to see their whole social circle in another venue. I guess it’s possible that the Funky characters we know and love only represent a small portion of their graduating class and actually the rest of them rightfully hold the ones we’re familiar with in contempt? “Ugh, there’s Les and Funky and that crowd,” one of the normals will say. “Don’t make eye contact, I came here to have fun tonight.”

Marvin, 8/24/22

Ahh, Marvin, it looks like the hunter … has become the hunted. “Hunting” is a metaphor for pooping. Because Marvin talks about pooping all the time! You get it.

Judge Parker, 8/24/22

“Maybe I should just burn the whole compound down, for the insurance money! Haha, just kidding. But what if…?”

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Gil Thorp, 8/23/22

Ohhhh, I get it now! All that bluster from Gil’s new nemesis? It was just flirting! His aggressive on-airpod proclamation that he was faithful to his wife? He means that he and his wife both adhere to the parameters of the rules they’ve laid down for their ethically non-monogamous marriage! Lukey and Fran want to swing, is what I’m saying, right there on the golf course. Take off those plaid shorts — but leave the tam-o-shanter on, coach! Yum!

Daddy Daze, 8/23/22

We’ve met the Daddy Daze daddy’s goth pal/neighbor before, and he and the Daddy Daze daddy have swapped parenting advice/commiseration, but … I don’t think we’ve ever actually seen his kid? Which is weird, considering that the Daddy Daze baby seems to be within “ba”-ing distance of his father 24/7. Based on today’s strip, though, I worry that the goth pal’s child may have fallen to his death from a great height, or that goth pal is going to jump to his death himself, or maybe both.

Mary Worth, 8/23/22

Third, Jared. You were my third choice. That’s a bronze metal. Bronze. Does anyone care about bronze, Jared? You know what bronze medalists don’t get to do, Jared? They don’t get to dump me! They don’t get to — uh, I mean, I’m glad there’s no bad blood between us…”