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Mary Worth, 11/1/24

Aww, who came to Dr. Ed and Estelle’s last-minute, let’s-make-it-legal-before-we-have-another-dumb-fight wedding? Well, from right, we have: Saul and Eve (intense dog owners, probably repeat customers at Dr. Ed’s clinic due to obsessive worrying over their pets’ health), Dr. Ed’s former lover Shiela, Minnesota Governor Tim Walz (officiant), Mary, some guy (maybe supposed to be Dr. Jeff except his temples aren’t grey and also his nose and chin look wrong???), and, of course, Wilbur, making his second appearance at an ex’s wedding in as many years. It’s good that this is happening to him! I think he should continue to suffer further humiliation until he’s learned his lesson (he never will). Maybe he’ll get an invite from Fabiana when she finally marries her cousin, dare to dream!

Crock, 11/1/24

I dunno, maybe I’m reading too much into a kind of nothing joke, but I feel like at least a little of the implication here is that the wife is going to be eating this dinner too, right? “Don’t eat the dinner, honey … the dinner is me … the dinner is me” (she’ll never hear it because nobody listens to their voice mail anymore, haha kids today am I right)

Beetle Bailey, 11/1/24

“Do the creators of Beetle Bailey know what ‘puppy play’ is?” is the sort of question that I will never, ever want to actually learn the answer to but also will never, ever be able to stop thinking about.

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Gil Thorp, 10/31/24

Oh, huh, Gil Thorp as a vampire is gonna be a cherished annual tradition now? I’m not complaining, mind you. Far from it! I do question some of the vampire world-building here, though. Why would you bother getting into a sword fight if you were a vampire? No metal blade can harm you! You could simply knock the mortal’s weapon aside with your bare hand and begin drinking his delicious blood.

Mary Worth, 10/31/24

Hey, remember the whole plot where Mary briefly got into the wild world of competitive cake baking, with a friend who turned out to be into her, sexually? She’s put those days behind her now, but it’s nice that she’s providing free (?) services for Ed and Estelle’s bare bones wedding. It gives her an opportunity to show off her skills, and also self-aggrandize by imagining baking a single cake was just as complex an undertaking as the painstaking and annoying emotional process we’ve been subjected to throughout Ed and Estelle’s relationship. Why, she doesn’t even have to deal with a transfer!

Rex Morgan, M.D., 10/31/24

As a child growing up in Buffalo, I experienced this disappointment year after year — and only much later, as an adult, did it occur to me that I should’ve come up with costume ideas that could accommodate or possibly even integrate a heavy coat. It was then that I took to heart the lesson that Rex Morgan is trying to teach us, which is that kids are actually pretty stupid.

Gearhead Gertie, 10/31/24

Gertie, there is no part of the Halloween mythos where you make children answer questions about your special interest before you give them candy! Please, why are you doing this??? Just dress up as a NASCAR driver and call it a day!!!!!!

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Hi and Lois, 10/30/24

Never mind Trixie’s baby brain being incapable of parsing this metaphor. What kind of fool’s paradise have Hi and Lois been living in that they look so worried about the very notion of an investor looking to buy a house, do some perhaps superficial renovations to it fairly quickly, and then selling it for a healthy profit? Are you telling Lois that houses are, in addition to a place to live, a commodity and an investment vehicle as well? She’s been a realtor for years and this is the first she’s hearing about this.

Mary Worth, 10/30/24

The big and extremely predictable Mary Worth news is that Dr. Ed has agreed to take Estelle back or whatever. All they had to do is agree to give up things that they’re passionate about and instead rely entirely on one another for emotional validation. Can’t see anything going wrong with that plan!

Rex Morgan, M.D., 10/30/24

Oh, you’re telling me that Rex might respond to a naive, cute, and slightly gross question one of his kids poses by making him feel weird for ever asking it, and moreover will work to make sure that he keeps feeling weird for the rest of his life? Yeah, that tracks. Sarah might’ve gotten a touch of the amnesia, but she definitely remembers Rex’s whole deal.

Six Chix, 10/30/24

We all, of course, remember the fable of the tortoise and the hare. Well, what if the two title characters in that story explored each other’s bodies, sexually? Or at least thought about it?