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He’s not a chef like some snooty French rat, no sir

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Six Chix, 5/6/21

Folks, Six Chix sure loves its cryptids, and I for one am on board! The strip long dwelled on a single subject: “What if Bigfoot were sexually attractive?” But now the strip has started branching out, onto subjects like “What if a human captured a mermaid and she eventually resigned herself to living with him?” and, today, “What if a rat were big?” I think I might like this one the best. Ha ha, look at that rat, everybody! He’s so big! And friendly. Only in New York!

Crock, 5/6/21

Ladies, you know how it is: you come home to find your husband visibly intoxicated and sitting atop a literal pile of garbage. This is such a cliche that in order to make a comic strip about it, you’d need to put a fresh new spin on it. Like, say, what if you were to use the world of computers as a metaphor? Eh? What if your house were some kind of computer system, which would make your drunk, disgusting husband malware of some sort? Eh? That’s how computers work, I think? I’ve never used one, but I’ve met people who have.

Funky Winkerbean, 5/6/21

HARRY DINKLE: [hears the word “mascot”]
HARRY DINKLE: [visualizes the mascot at the school where he used to work]
HARRY DINKLE: “I definitely am familiar with the word ‘mascot’ and its meaning!”

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“Human bodies are still frail and mortal? What the absolute hell”

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Mary Worth, 5/5/21

Say what you will about this “Drew the dissatisfied Instadoc” storyline, but it’s been hard to predict its twists and turns! Like, is Drew going to be bamboozled? Seduced? Will Ashlee actually become the next Bella Hadid, with Drew as her svengali along for the ride? Anyway, based on today’s strip I’m foreseeing an extremely exciting sequence of events, where Drew has to cancel because of a work thing, and then Ashlee gets miffed and passive aggressively fails to follow up to schedule a new photoshoot and eventually quietly unfollows him, and then like three months later Drew thinks, “Wow, remember Ashlee? She was pretty but I guess some things aren’t meant to be.” This will take eight to eleven months.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 5/5/21

What sort of wonderful surprises can increasingly unavoidable Rex Morgan recurring character Buck Wise deliver to our heroes? Could he, say, use his industry connections to arrange a meeting between Sarah and her favorite author? Ha ha, no, of course not. That would be absurd. He could make sure her fan letter gets actually read, though! Or at least he could tell her that it would get actually read, which from her point of view would probably end up amounting to the same thing.

Shoe, 5/5/21

I’ve spent more time than I care to admit trying to figure out the whole deal with Skyler and the Perfesser’s relationship, which I now regret as today’s strip makes it pretty clear that relationship is entirely transactional.

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I will never submit to the easy and morally suspect trend of pro-Buckism

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Rex Morgan, M.D., 5/4/21

A classic Rex Morgan, M.D., trope is when ancillary characters give Rex and his family free stuff for no good reason — clothes, antique furniture, passes to Sea World, what have you. It’s always great fun! But now we’re seeing a new running bit where people effusively thank Buck, a boring drip, for doing extremely boring stuff like recommending comic books to children. No thanks! Somebody give the Morgans an actual human child, we haven’t seen that in years.

Crankshaft, 5/4/21

Normally I’d read today’s strip and think, “Oh, look, it’s yet another Crankshaft where the wordplay that’s the whole central joke of the strip is based on a homonym and so it wouldn’t work at all when spoken aloud, and nobody involved in the production of the strip cared enough to mention it or try to rework it or anything.” But then I saw Crankshaft’s face in the third panel, and I can’t really put my finger on it but he’s giving off very strong, “Listen up, fuckos, a pun is happening” energy, so I guess I’ll allow it.

Dennis the Menace, 5/4/21

OHHHHHH SNAP WHO’S GETTING MENACED NOW