Post Content

Hi and Lois, 11/15/20

From the fall of 1992 to the spring of 1993, I was a freshman at Cornell University, and at Cornell — and, I assume, at many other universities, although I can only speak to my experience — Spin Doctors’ debut album, Pocket Full of Kryptonite, was absolutely inescapable, and after a few weeks I definitely wanted to escape it, though I admit that during the brief window before I came to loathe the band I did put “Two Princes” on a mix tape for a young lady I was trying, without success, to woo. Anyway, I had mostly managed to purge the music from my head until someone over at Waker-Browne Amalgamated Humor Industries LLC decided to slip the phrase “pocket full of Kryptonite” into today’s strip, which made me wonder if the album title was maybe a reference to something else, but nope, it’s just a lyric from the album, so there you go: Spin Doctors content in today’s Hi and Lois. While on this journey of discovery, I did learn that that Spin Doctors’ Wikipedia article has one of my very favorite Wikipedia Things, a bar chart showing the comings and goings of various musicians in the band’s lineup over the years, from which I learned that John Popper, later of Blues Traveler, another band unavoidable in Cornell dorms in the early-to-mid ’90s, was briefly in Spin Doctors, which I found noteworthy enough to mention to my wife. Her responses were “Am I supposed to care about this” and “I cannot think of two bands I care less about,” which, I guess, is ultimately why I have a blog, because I have to tell someone this stuff. Anyway, thanks a lot for making me think about this, Hi and Lois. Thanks a lot.

Six Chix, 11/15/20

Honestly, I’m not even sure what to say about this except that I’m kind of in awe of the series of free associations that brought this … allegory? metaphor? fever dream? … into existence. I assume that after utterly defeating the dinosaurs on the court, the asteroids high fived one another, leapt far up into space, and then plummeted back down to earth, obliterating both their vanquished foes and themselves in an apocalyptic blast.

Panels from Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 11/15/20

Ha ha, Parson, that so-called “currency” doesn’t do you much good in a community that mostly exists as a pre-monetary economy in which social ties mediate almost all economic exchange, does it?

Post Content

Mary Worth, 11/14/20

Oh, man, it looks like Tommy’s going to prove he’s not using again, the only way he can: by getting a better job! Obviously only a loser would work at, uh, the place where Brandy works, so the way for Tommy to prove he’s not a loser would be to get a job somewhere else. Yes, it’s definitely true that people with prestigious, high-paying jobs like stockbrokers or actors would never use drugs, so this is a foolproof plan.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 11/14/20

[I brace myself for the non-stop thrill ride that is Rex Morgan, M.D., and begin the first panel] HOLY SHIT THERE’S HOT SOUP IN THOSE CONTAINERS, WHAT IF NIKI SPILLS IT [I get to the second panel] OH THANK GOD, HE DIDN’T SPILL IT [I begin crying because I’m so relieved but emotionally drained by this whole experience]

Post Content

FAITHFUL FREADERS, do not forget that there is an online, Zoom-based version of my beloved comedy show, The Internet Read Aloud, happening THIS SUNDAY, November 15, at 1 pm Pacific! It features show favorites Patrick Susmilch and Sammy Mowrey, Rifftrax writer Conor Lastowka, and show newcomer Nina Butterly! Here’s the Zoom link, for future reference, and here’s the Facebook event, if you find that helpful!

And do not forget that there were many funny comments this week, and this one was my favorite:

“Yes, his eyes reflect his joy in living. He’d kill Rex and his whole cabal for one Snickers bar.” –Dennis Jimenez

But these other ones I also enjoyed!

“I don’t know what I love best about the background tableau in the last panel: Red Swim Trunks looking mildly disappointed that he doesn’t get to strip down and piss on his friend’s leg in public, or the fact that someone brought a bottle of vinegar to their beach day.” –TheDiva

“I had to try to figure out if Beetle’s childhood bully and the Sarge are indeed meant to be one and the same, so I compared features and came to the realization that they indeed have the same ears. But then I noticed that Beetle also has the same ears, and digging deeper, discovered that nearly every male character in the strip has the same ears, and God help me all I can see now are these freakish flesh-colored danishes, even when I close my eyes.” –Living on Video

“We make a lot of jokes about how depressing the Funkyverse is, but let’s consider that it’s a place where deafness and dementia get better on their own, you can drive through roaring fires without getting hurt, and 100 year old men can hold down jobs and garden daily. It actually seems pretty good.” –Rube

“The best part is that you can see the tortured anguish in Dennis’ face as tries desperately keep his head from spinning around.” –Joe Momma

“I’m reading Dinkle’s dialogue in panel 1 as highly sarcastic, given the face he makes at us in panel 2. ‘Giving piano lessons is always enjoyable, my dear readers. Can someone come and wring this little brat’s neck? Or mine? I’m past caring which.’” –Mr. A

“If that kid isn’t sharing a video of Harry Dinkle on TikTok entitled ‘Get *This* Miserable Piece of Shit’ then what even is the point?” –Tabby Lavalamp

“This would have been a great opportunity for a Tom Sawyer joke but in Slylock’s post-apocalyptic world there aren’t enough humans around for our hero to trick anyone else into painting the fence for him. That’s why he can impress a young lady with superficial touch-ups rather than something useful like, say, fixing the fence.” –Spunky The Wonder Squid

“‘If you think that’s bad, wait until you hear it‘ is the headline of the most popular review of Lisa’s Story on Audible.” –Ettorre

“I don’t know how I expected Gil Thorp to acknowledge the pandemic, but it wasn’t like this.” –Morgan Wick

“TFW venting to your Coach Kaz mannequin just isn’t enough, and you’re forced to talk to your wife.” –Lawyerbob

“Daisy never actually answers the question of whether he can read. Good thing the front page has a full color picture of a big space rock.” –Artist formerly known as Ben

“I’m not saying Daisy is a bad criminal, but if I hired a guy for a museum heist and gave him a newspaper article about a million dollar meteorite, and then had to sit him down and explain that a million dollars is a lot of money, I’d start looking for a new accomplice.” –Schroduck

“I’m sorry, I don’t buy that Hi is a horny hubby with a wandering eye a la John of For Better Or For Worse. He seems more like a straight-laced guy with no regard for younger generations a la Dustin’s Dad. I imagine he lectured this Beverage Cart Girl on her and her generation’s poor work ethic and then stiffed her a tip ‘so you’ll learn to save money instead of blowing it on avocado toast.’ Chip just wants to apologize on his father’s behalf.” –jenna

“You know who is always nattering on about bacon? Hipsters. You know who is into pointless archaic stuff like DIY repairs on cathode-ray tube TVs and homegrown tomatoes and newspaper comic strips and probably phone books? Hipsters. Pluggers are hipsters! Get over it!” –matt w

“I fly down to the grocery store and pick up discarded coupons that I use to build up my nest! We’re birds, right?” –pugfuggly

“I’m sorry, did I say coupons? I meant ‘coup.’ I threw a coup, initiated martial law, and control the entire economic output of the town. No more questions, and someone pluck those guys and throw them into a stew pot.” –Voshkod

“It’s a nice touch that the rhino man’s eyes point straight sideways. In the frenzy of eating another animal, he reverts to a primal state, and in that he remembers on some instinctive level that he is supposed to be prey. But his combined form is just human enough to experience the other side too. It is something never meant to be, herbivore devouring herbivore like when the divine order is upset in Macbeth, and I am sure it is that unnatural defiance he craves far more than any simple flavor.” –pachoo

Remember: If you never want to see banner ads on this site, and want to get cool comment-editing features to boot, for a mere three dollars a month you can become a Comics Curmudgeon Supporter! If you just want to give me money directly, you can put some scratch in my tip jar, or back me on Patreon! Thanks to all for your support and readership!