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Hi and Lois, 11/19/19

Yes, the joke is that “Ha ha, what if an … unlikely person used social media, wouldn’t that be something” (I guarantee that just about every garbageman in America has at least one social media account), but the real story here is Hi. Why does Hi feel compelled to come out at some ungodly hour of the morning to talk to the guys who pick up his trash? Isn’t the whole point that you put it out at the curb the night before and then they pick it up as they come by? Today he looks particularly miserable to have been forced by his pitiless Creator out of a nice warm bed to be the wordless sounding board for a terrible “PHONES, amiright folks” joke. It must be particularly galling that he could just look at this picture on Instagram whenever he wanted, at his leisure.

Sam and Silo, 11/19/19

Ha ha, the town’s only cops are sexually aggressively pursuing local women, as is their wont! “Like in a horror movie,” one of the women says, “but in this case, it’s true.” What a fun, whimsical strip!

Mary Worth, 11/19/19

The bouquet of roses is apparently Wilbur’s go-to “NOOOO, TAKE ME BACK” move, but this time around he decided to have them delivered rather than just attempting to ambush her with them — a wise move to avoid immediate, face-to-face, extremely funny disappointment.

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Gil Thorp, 11/18/19

Well, weeks after making the mistake of trying to blow the whistle to Milford’s “mainstream” (i.e., Thorp-friendly) press, Chet is doing what he should’ve done in the first place, which is talk to Marty Moon, preferably in a context where Marty can get as drunk as possible with a non-Marty person paying for the drinks. So the setup is right, but the execution is botched. Marty says he’s listening but you can see in panel three that he’s already tuning out Chet’s blather about “two-a-days” and “Sam Finn” or whatever. C’mon, Chet! Lead with the scissors-throwing! Everyone loves a good scissors-throwing!

Family Circus, 11/18/19

“Daddy” may be back at the help of the Family Circus, but the layers of narrative artifice on display during “Billy (age 7)’s run” are still present. Dolly prays to the Christian God, but He does not exist within the Circus’s circle; the Father and Creator is downstairs, watching football. (Of course, in real life, this God is dead, and in-panel reality is sustained by Jeffy, depicted here as His prophet.)

Mary Worth, 11/18/19

Crouching in your office chair, airing your hairy legs out and pressing an ice pack gingerly against one side of your head doesn’t exactly scream “patented hangover cure” to me, but I guess Wilbur’s the expert! I don’t want to say every plotline in Mary Worth should involve Wilbur getting dumped or otherwise romantically devastated, but, like, every fourth one or so? That’d be great.

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Panel from Slylock Fox, 11/17/19

I definitely could see a bunch of ways that a dog could break a tooth while robbing a bank (though to be frank almost all of them involve him biting someone), but I think there might be more to it here. Dirty Dog is, for those of you who don’t want to flip your screen upside down, in disguise as an anteater, a toothless species that would have no reason to go to the dentist. You’d think that “in disguise” would mean that he just has a fursuit on, but that bandage far down his “snout” indicates a genuine injury where there shouldn’t be one. Presumably he’s spent most of the day undergoing the horrific surgery necessary to transform his appearance from one species to another. It’s honestly a wonder that the toothache is his only problem.

Curtis, 11/17/19

Ha ha, oops, Curtis accidentally texted Michelle referring to her “yellow teeth,” making her angry! He had intended to refer to her “stellar teeth,” and how the food he was going to buy her would give her a chance to “show [them] off,” just a totally normal and non-creepy thing that any girl would be excited to read in a text from a boy. “Girl, I want everyone to know how well you can chew, don’t hide your light — specifically, the light glinting off your teeth — under a bushel!” That’s some extremely effective flirting that will get you far with the ladies.