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Dennis the Menace, 6/4/20

This is definitely the most erotic Dennis the Menace panel I can remember seeing in some time! I guess the joke is that Alice is exhausted because she has no access to childcare, which is why she’s been on her feet all day and also why Dennis is sitting there staring at her while she’s in the dentist chair, but the way she and the dentist are gazing into each other’s eyes definitely seems like things are about to get real romantic real fast, which is why it’s so unsettling that Dennis is sitting there staring at her. Couldn’t she have just left him at the Wilsons’ house? Like, he clearly spends several hours a day there anyway.

Funky Winkerbean, 6/4/20

Ha ha, Les did forget that his own wife works at the same school where he works, probably, but honestly, did she even need some sort of inside information to know that Les is having a bad day? Bad days are the only kind of days Les has. He needs them, to live.

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UPDATE ON MY LIVE COMEDY SHOW THAT WAS SCHEDULED TO HAPPEN TOMORROW: We the comics who were going to be in that show do not feel like it’s a particularly “funny” time to be in America right now! We’re postponing it to a later date. If you’ve written to me asking for the Zoom URL for the show, I have your email and I’ll send it when I have a new date/and time! And if you want to be on that list, email me at jfruh@jfruh.com.

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Beetle Bailey, 6/4/20

Being a general is a decently big deal. And yeah, technically, when I say “general” I mean “general officer”; only a four-star is truly a “general,” amd Halftrak is a one-star Brigadier General, but the point remains: by law there can be no more than 231 in the Army as a whole, which is more than I expected but still isn’t a lot. What I’m trying to say is that this comic strip inspired me to read the “general officer” article on Wikipedia and click on several of the links therein, and I definitely learned quite a bit but also came across nothing that altered my original thought here, which is that it’s probably kind of concerning that General Halftrack’s staff is just forging his signature on things.

Mary Worth, 6/4/20

After what I’m pretty sure were seven solid weeks of Dawn’s love triangle concluding in the dullest way possible, this week’s storyline has given me serious whiplash as it zigs and zags through various possibilities! Is it about Toby failing as a baker? Is it about Saul Wynter’s dying family? Or is it about the god-damn millennials [aide whispers in my ear] ahem, I have been informed that many millennials are now well into their 30s at this point and they’re calling the new crop of kids “zoomers,” so, as I was saying, is it about the god-damn zoomers, always staring at their phones and swearing and disrespecting their elders, who never did any such thing? Is Mary gonna have to teach this tween terror some respect?

Mark Trail, 6/4/20

Folks, as prophesied, it’s time for an Andy story in Mark Trail! The story so far is that Andy accidentally got closed up in the back of this truck, which drove far away from Lost Forest, and now appears to be ready to maul the hapless truck driver to death. Sorry, truck driver! It wasn’t your fault Andy wandered into your truck, but you will be suffering the consequences!

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Shoe, 6/2/20

A thing I find genuinely interesting is how in some strips, slowly, over many years, the title character is edged out of the protagonist slot and replaced by their previous #2. Thus, Blondie is now about Dagwood more often than not, Funky Winkerbean spends loathsome amounts of energy on the antics of Les Moore, and Shoe mostly follows the life of the Perfesser. In this case, he’s the marginally more sympathetic character, and this strip demonstrates that pretty well: you can tell that having to write this pun, which some high-priced consultant hired by the private equity firm that just bought the Tattler-Tribune says will “boost engagement,” makes him hate himself very, very much.

Mary Worth, 6/2/20

Oh, man, it’s not just Toby in this new plot, but Saul Wynter, too! Remember Saul Wynter? The old grump who got a dog to replace his wife, but the dog died, so Mary forced him to adopt a new dog? Well, it turns out one of his dear childhood friends has passed away, and even though it sounds like they hadn’t been in touch for a while, it’s nice to know that Saul’s entire life is still dominated by constant emotional loss.

Judge Parker, 6/2/20

yesssssss

judge parker senior has the ‘rona

JUDGE

PARKER

SENIOR

HAS

THE ‘RONA