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My favorite comment of the week? It’s this one:

“Estelle will want to put one of those big burger pictures on the headboard of her bed.” –Lorne

But there were a bunch of funny one’s I enjoyed! Here’s the list!

“Now we know how the apocalyptic event that replaced most humans with talking animals came about: Count Weirdly caused it, just so he could afford a castle in New York City. That’s something that would cost 80 bajillion dollars today, yet he was able to buy one with the meager proceeds from his non-watertight bathysphere company.” –BigTed

“George’s finger inched toward the detonator. He made the first move, and by god, he was going to make the last one.” –Voshkod

“Ha ha, Mark is 100% cutting Leola loose there. ‘Don’t worry! Your corpse will provide valuable nourishment for endangered vultures!’” –pugfuggly

“The Delicious Grill is doing much better that its predecessor in that space, the International House of Undercooked Chicken.” –GeoGreg

“From what I’ve seen, stained glass is usually more associated with traditional denominations. Independent evangelical churches lean more toward the styles of Early American Industrial Park or Megachurch Brick Colossus.” –Tonio

Italics and an interrobang? That’s a surprising depth of contempt from Mary, even for Wilbur.” –cisko

“‘Don’t bother to explain!‘ is Rule #1 in the Six Chix Employee Handbook.” –nescio

“In the Funkyverse, the phrase is: ‘Abscess makes the heart-growth stronger.’ Let’s try to stick to the program, here.” –grsblvnyk

“That has to be the most phallic representation of a bed I’ve ever seen. If screwing on what looks like a big blue Johnson is what it takes to get your jollies, more power to you, but I think it’d kind of get me out of the mood.” –Pozzo

“Literally one sentence into Wilbur’s new relationship and he’s making the woman feel uncomfortable. [nods] Sure, that tracks.” –Dan

“Hoo boy is Wilbur excited about catfish! He’s going to ignore Estelle’s warning that it may cause vomiting and/or diarrhea (which should go without saying considering it’s a fish product served at a burger joint in a mall) and order up some sweet sweet catfish anyway. Estelle is incidental here — Wilbur’s first thought this morning was ‘I’ve got a date with a catfish!’” –Jenna

“I’m really enjoying that Wilbur is at least 15 years younger than Estelle (and a real person), yet is STILL a massive downgrade from catfish boyfriend by virtue of being, well, Wilbur.” –@bananawarmer, on Twitter

“Dennis’s ultimate menace: his parents love each other, but have a constant tow-headed reminder that expressing that love too physically could result in another Dennis in the world. They sacrifice the intimacy they long for, for all our sakes.” –Truckosaurus

Morning? Again?! When will my prayers bring the Ever Night? How many sacrifices will it take to attract the eye of the Great Moon?” –Enlong

I sure hope nothing happened to Doc! The authorities are going to be very suspicious if I put the blame for this catastrophe on a dead man!” –WLP

“Dammit! Why do I keep not dying in my sleep? ‘99% effective,’ my ass, D-Con!” –Damian

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Mark Trail, 6/14/19

“I sure hope nothing has happened to Doc! I sure hope the tired old man whose senile fantasies I’ve indulged by dragging him out to this brutal, isolate desert wasn’t drowned in the violent flash flood I just barely escaped from myself! I sure hope I don’t have to tell my wife that I got her dad killed! I sure hope — oh, good, he’s fine, thank goodness we didn’t have to experience any dramatic tension or anything like that.”

Beetle Bailey, 6/14/19

Ha ha, it’s funny because Camp Swampy is under attack from some kind of biological or chemical weapon!

Six Chix, 6/14/19

Guys, is … is Six Chix OK? Like, should we call someone?

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Mary Worth, 6/13/19

This is a full time Wilbur/Estelle (Wilbstelle? Estbur?) fanblog now and you can just deal with it. Today I am mesmerized by the massive burger looming in the background, which I guess is an image on the window of Delicious Grill(e?) but looks like some kind of hovering alien being, whose research on Earth determined that hamburgers were plentiful and therefore an inconspicuous form to take, beaming love rays into Wilbur and Estelle’s brains and convincing them to head back to Estelle’s apartment for piano playing and sex, for whatever inscrutable reason (presumably the alien’s spacecraft is powered by the energy produced when two middle-aged people settle for one another).

Dennis the Menace, 6/13/19

I’m not even going to bother assessing Dennis’s menacing level here, and instead I’m just going to point out the truly bizarre arrangement of furniture in the Mitchells’ living room. Like, did Henry or Alice deliberately move one of the chairs so that they could sit angrily near each other like this? Or is this the permanent arrangement, acknowledging that their amity could shatter into mutual animus at any moment, but their fundamental attraction precludes either of them from just storming out of the room?

Six Chix, 6/13/19

Let’s say, just for the sake of argument, that the new owner of your favorite bakery is extremely cheap — he’s skimping on the lemon bars so that it’s like eating all dough and no filling; you order them all the time and you can tell. Sure, you could call a friend on the phone to tell them about it, and that has its satisfaction. But what if you had a syndicate newspaper comic? Then you could tell thousands of people all over the country your tale of woe! Admittedly, that story wouldn’t contain a “joke” per se, but years doing a syndicated newspaper comic will have taught you that if this was once a reason to stop a comic strip from being published, it no longer is and hasn’t been for some time.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 6/13/19

Check out Rex’s thinkin’ face in that last panel. “Wait, you can just pay people to go away? Because I’ve got plenty of money and I don’t like people very much. This could really work out for me!”