Post Content

Spider-Man, 4/23/18

Welp, as of last week almost all of the dramas in the current Spider-Man plot had been resolved — Dr. Connors is no longer the Lizard, Bruce Banner can once again turn into the Hulk, and we’re all just going to agree to not talk about whatever the implications of that whole blood transfusion swap business were. All that’s left is Jameson’s threat to out Connors as the Lizard, even though we just established that he wasn’t the Lizard any more. Spider-Man came up with an actually effective, if extremely brutal, solution to this problem, which was to leave Jameson in the swamp to die, but now that the cowardly publisher has promised on fear of his life not to do the bad thing he was threatening to do, I guess they’re going to let him live. Definitely he’s completely dependable on this point and will honor a pledge extracted from him under duress! All that’s left for us to learn is whether Spidey’s extremely efficient “carry the other two guys out of the swamp tucked under your arms” transportation method can scale up to three guys.

Pluggers, 4/23/18

Pluggers are just completely insufferable. Straight-up narcissists. When you have a conversation with a plugger, is he really listening to you? Does he care about you, as a person? He most definitely does not.

Post Content

Dennis the Menace, 4/22/18

Acting as if minor changes in consumer behavior can solve major structural societal problems? Pretty darn menacing, if you ask me.

Pluggers, 4/22/18

THEORY: The pluggers most like to care about the welfare of animals … are the ones who are beginning to suspect that they themselves are animals.

Slylock Fox, 4/22/18

“None of those ingredients are real! Plus, eternal existence would eventually become a curse! Without the rise and fall of generations, society would be sapped of its vitality! Without death, there can’t be any true life! Please listen, you’ve got to believe me!”

Post Content

The Lockhorns, 4/21/18

You know, I have this vague idea that the names of foods sometimes have historical or religious meanings embedded in their etymology, so I thought that maybe there was some tenuous connection between martyrs and minestrone soup, but no, it just means, basically, “stuff that’s served” in Italian, so, yeah, this panel is literally just Leroy telling his guests “the meal we’re about to feed you sucks, so I sure hope you get some psychological kick out of suffering,” with no wordplay or jokes of any kind.

Shoe, 4/21/18

Haha, remember blogging? Remember when it was a whole thing, that people talked about and cared about, and it was going to change the world, somehow? Thank goodness those days are over! Thank goodness nobody is left who would think that substituting the word “blog” for other vaguely similar words in common English phrases is something that would be funny at all, or worthy of publication! [aide whispers in ear] Oh no. Oh my god. I’ve just been given some terrible news.