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Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 5/30/10

Snuffy is admittedly improvising under pressure here, but I’m a little disappointed at his excuse-making’s failure to cohere into a satisfying whole. Since he was questioned about his intentions for that sack full of live chickens, surely all concerned could better pretend at the virtue of the situation had the subsequent bribe been offered in chicken form. Indeed, I’ve assumed that poultry is more or less the main currency in Hootin’ Holler anyway, a suspicion that is confirmed by the somewhat dodgy appearance of the note Snuffy is handing Sheriff Tait. It certainly doesn’t resemble a U.S. greenback, which makes sense as those probably haven’t been seen around town since the local TVA office closed down. My guess is that this is a piece of scrip issued by the operators of the nearest coal mine; though the mine and the accompanying company store have also been shuttered for decades, Hootin’ Holler residents still atavistically ascribe value to the crumbling pieces of paper.

Crock, 5/30/10

I’m also interested in how exactly the local economy works in Crock. There doesn’t seem to be any kind of permanent settlement associated with the strip’s Foreign Legion outpost, just a series of isolated retail establishments created as needed to support the lame joke of the day. I guess it’s understandable that the employees of “Dress Shoppe,” having no competition in the clothes trade, lack any sense of customer service. Maybe the next shop will do better, now that Grossie has destroyed this one.

Panel from Mary Worth, 5/30/10

EMERGENCY! EMERGENCY! THE INDIVIDUAL KNOWN AS “BONNIE” (indicated) HAS HAD HER SOUL COMPLETELY DEVOURED BY MARY WORTH! SUGGEST IMMEDIATE MERCY TERMINATION OF HER UNDEAD CORPOREAL FORM!

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Hi and Lois, 5/17/10

As obsessive comics readers know, Hi and Lois have four kids, none of whom are in college, which makes their “UConn Dad/Mom” shirts kind of confusing. Is it possible that, since nobody in the family ever ages, they actually have a phantom fifth child off in Storrs, perpetually in his or her sophomore year and never mentioned ever since s/he decided to waste his/her life and the Flagstons’ money on a French lit major. It’s also possible that Hi and Lois has just experienced a Funky Winkerbean-style time jump, and that Chip is now away at school, Dot and Ditto are hitting their awkward adolescence, and Trixie is being traumatized by Sunbeam’s refusal to follow her into her windowless kindergarden classroom. This, I suppose, is the sort of disorientation that casual Funky Winkerbean readers, those who didn’t follow the trade press’s reporting on the upcoming temporal leap forward, experienced when they opened up their paper and discovered that Les and Funky and the gang were 10 years older. (The trade press did not bother to report on this event in Hi and Lois because nobody, not even people who cover the newspaper comics industry for a living, really cares all that much about Hi and Lois.)

I note also that Lois the realtor, realizing that this family of poor saps is selling off their car in order to provide a better life for their children, might be close to cashing in on the family home as well, and naturally her professional instincts are kicking in. The real estate industry: profiting from, and causing, America’s financial problems for most of the 21st century so far!

Curtis, 5/17/10

It’s 99 percent certain that this is not going to be a “Curtis and Barry find their parents’ sex tape” storyline, but this is the strip that brought us the syrup chapter, so we can’t be sure. Until all is revealed, I will merely point out for your interest that Curtis is so dedicated to hip-hop as a genre that he apparently owns a poster extolling not some specific artist but rather the abstract concept of rap.

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 5/17/10

Due to its isolation, Hootin’ Holler is years behind most of America when it comes to pop-culture trends. For instance, streaking is only now starting to catch on there, a full 35 years after its heyday in the rest of the country.

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Funky Winkerbean, 5/16/10

Oh, look, it appears that this actively offensive love triangle is moving forward, to be helped along by a healthy dose of hilarious misunderstanding. It will all end in anguish, of course, like an episode of Three’s Company where everyone dies horribly.

Panel from Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 5/16/10

Elviney’s expression of simmering rage here — the narrowed eyes, the waggling finger — is probably the most harrowing thing I’ve seen in the comics in weeks. You do not want to promise this woman gossip that you cannot deliver. She will cut you.

Panel from Mary Worth, 5/16/10

“Just remember, if you don’t need it, it’s unnecessary, and if it’s unnecessary, you don’t need it! I hope this circular logic will be a comfort to you as you lie in bed alone, listening to the credit cards’ eager whispering.”