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Dick Tracy, 5/29/10

The current Dick Tracy storyline, in which one of Dick’s old adversaries (or possibly said adversary’s grandson) has gone to all the trouble of being cast opposite Dick in a dramatic re-enactment of one of his old cases just so he can murder the detective and one or more bystanders in front of hundreds of onlookers, is painfully dumb, dumber than usual for this feature, and I’ve been studiously ignoring it. However, I do have to pause to offer appreciation for the fact that Director Lady Whose Punny Name I Have Forgotten has chosen to only thought-balloon that “Oh, no!” Sure, there’s a crazed murderer on the lose and the entire audience is at risk, and it’s important to tell people that, but we wouldn’t want to start a panic with unseemly displays of emotion.

Crock, 5/29/10

We’ve already established that the Crock artist has long forgotten, if he ever knew, that Grossie is supposed to be wearing a niqab. So I suppose it makes sense that he might think of that cap on the top of her head as a “hairstyle.”

Hey, everybody! By the time you see this, I’ll be gone for the long weekend. See ya back here Monday evening, or maybe Tuesday morning!

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It’s another fun Sunday of individual panels from individual strips! Let’s see what’s up. Say, has Mary ingested some kind of powerful mood-altering drug that has caused her to pupils to dilate to pinpricks as she blathers on about sunny nothingness?

Panel from Mary Worth, 5/23/10

Sure looks like it!

Panel from Crock, 5/23/10

Crock trufans of course know that the strip’s title character’s full name is “Vermin P. Crock.” This is hard information to come by for the casual reader, because his terrified underlings never refer to him by first name; apparently only the local man of God has that privilege. So, for the 99 percent of humanity who is not aware of this Crockiana factoid, it would appear that Crock is being verbally abused by a priest, which would actually fit in nicely with the general attitude of cruelty that defines the world of the strip.

Panel from Apartment 3-G, 5/23/10

This is the same A3G fight that’s been happening all week, but it’s nice to see a comically rendered narration box breaking up the ennui. Perhaps it’s a phenomenon related to this classic Margo word balloon.

Panel from Curtis, 5/23/10

Yes, many elementary-age children have the name of a special effects artist whose work last appeared in a major full-length motion picture 29 years ago right on the tips of their tongues. Barry is a true cineaste and student of film history, which is why he complains so much about the terrible movies Curtis drags him to, I guess.

And hey, is Mary still tweaking along at full blast?

Panel from Mary Worth, 5/23/10

Looks like it!

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Blondie and Crock, 5/10/10

One of the defining features of legacy comic strips is of course their trapped-in-amber quality, which goes beyond just the characters’ archaic motivations and gender roles and goes right down to their homes’ decor. In fact, incidental details are even less likely to change than major points; Blondie might have started a business with much fanfare sometime in the ’90s, but the Bumsteads will apparently only have a single corded phone, sitting atop an early 20th century credenza in some out of-the-way location in the house, forever. (At least it’s a modern push-button model!) It’s such an ingrained part of the Blondie universe that I can’t decide if today’s strip is some kind of knowing wink to it, or just the logical extension of having the layout of chez Bumstead so burned into your brain that its anachronisms seems totally natural to you.

Crock, meanwhile, shockingly manages to be more in touch with modern reality today, in the sense that it acknowledges that phones untethered by wires do, in fact, exist. Of course, the strip artists seem to believe that you can create one merely by detaching the handset of a classic bakelite phone from its base, but hey, baby steps.

Apartment 3-G, 5/10/10

At long last, all distractions will be put aside and we’ll now enjoy unfettered A3G-girl-on-A3G-girl-on-A3G-girl action! Three will enter — how many will leave? I suppose this is supposed to be the first time Tommie has seen Margo since the latter’s spa vacation, but I prefer to believe that our redhead has taken to just groveling before Margo every time they encounter each other, to reduce the frequencies the beatings. “O Margo, our days were like nights without the warm glow of your sun! Please, do not remove your divine presence from us again, for we cannot stand the thought!” Meanwhile, Lu Ann has finally decided to face Margo’s tyranny head-on, the prospect of which fills Tommie with obvious terror. Lu Ann knows there’ll be bloodshed, which is why she’s prepared herself by putting on a butcher’s apron.

Mark Trail, 5/10/10

Sassy’s wide, haunted eyes in panel three don’t say “excited” to me so much as “my God, I’ve seen things no living thing should have to bear, and which you can’t even begin to imagine.” Oh, but we can imagine them, Sassy! We’ve seen panel two!

Pluggers, 5/10/10

Longtime Pluggers readers know that Reed Hoover is a relentless, unstoppable Pluggers-idea-submitting machine, whose name pops up in this feature with unsettling regularity. Thus, it comes as no real surprise that the Chief Plugger has just given up and gone on vacation for a week and handed the strip over to some classic Hooverisms. Reed is no doubt celebrating pretty mightily down there in Dallas, presumably by hiking his pants all the way up to his nipples.