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Mark Trail, 11/8/19

Sorry I haven’t kept you up to date on what’s been going on in the month since Mark and Dr. Camel and their crew got attacked by a rhino, but honestly trust me when I say that it hasn’t been that interesting! There was an elephant ride but even that was more boring than it sounds, and as you can see they’re still in Nepal’s semi-tropical lowland zone and not in the rugged, mountainous region, which I assume is infested with yeti. Sorry, Mark Trail, you can’t promise me yeti and then just show me a bunch of boring-ass animals I can see in any zoo and expect me to remain engaged! In today’s strip, Genie desperately tries to liven things up by giving everyone cholera, but Mr. Mark “No Fun” Trail is gonna put a stop to even that.

Mary Worth, 11/8/19

An underrated thing about human beings — which is often borne out by, say, the oeuvre of Sacha Baron Cohen — is that we try our hardest to maintain illusion that everything is going fine and normally even when one participant in a social situation is behaving bizarrely and inappropriately. I both appreciate and find it fairly realistic that Zak, Estelle, and Iris are cheerfully going around the table saying what they liked about their meal while Wilbur is literally smearing himself with noodles. It’s magnificent.

Six Chix, 11/8/19

Sorry, I refuse to believe that this supposed slacker would have a framed picture hanging at a weird angle but then leave his cans neatly placed upright on the floor. And what are you going to stain your shirt with that’s grey? I feel like he’s protesting a little too much, like he wants a girlfriend who’s going to whip him into shape, literally, as part of some slovenliness dom/sub play.

Dennis the Menace, 11/8/19

So … instead of pretending to do yard work, you’re instead going to pretend to have a big dispute at the condo board meeting about the various estimates on what it’s going to cost to fix the elevator? I think we can agree both of these games suck ass.

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Panel from Slylock Fox, 11/3/19

There has been a population explosion of pythons in the forest. In the beginning of the Glorious Animal Regime, all animals were equal; but some, like the traitorous python, defied the reproductive quotas imposed by the benevolent new monarchy, which forced Slylock, more in sorrow than in anger, to impose ethnic cleansing and deport thousands of snakes to “another forest,” so far away that you probably won’t be hearing from your snake friends again, but trust us, they’re happier there. Will history absolve Slylock and Princess Pussycat of their crimes? Answer — No, but they’ll be long dead before the judgement of future generations condemns them!

Mary Worth, 11/3/19

You know, we’ve been spending a lot of time wondering what Estelle could see in Wilbur, but you gotta remember that she’s the woman who sent $10,000 to some dude she had only ever spoken to on the phone, and while “This guy I just started dating has shown up at my apartment very drunk, I’m going to physically and urgently drag him to the double date we’ve planned with his ex and her new boyfriend” isn’t a terrible choice quite on the same scale, it’s a reminder that she’s made some extremely questionable decisions in her life and will no doubt continue to do so in the future.

Dennis the Menace, 11/3/19

Did Dennis just try to pull the “I was resting my eyelids!” trick beloved by checked-out uncles everywhere? Dennis, my man, the only thing you’re a menace to here is your own dignity.

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Dustin, 10/30/19

Say, remember when male Baby Boomers were young and their parents made fun of them for growing their hair long and otherwise not conforming to stifling 1950s codes of what a man should be or look like? Well, those Boomers all lost their hair and now it’s their turn to police everyone else’s masculinity. Whether you’re treating the the availability of a little cinnamon and nutmeg in your coffee like a full grade crisis because girls like it or you think that guy with a small dog up the street ought to be feeling a lot more shame than he apparently does, you’re certainly making your father happy, wherever he is, probably hell.

Dennis the Menace, 10/30/19

Speaking of hell, here’s what all the demons down there will look like. The amount of work Mr. Wilson put into this is absolutely terrifying, and that’s assuming he’s gone to the trouble of creating a perfect Dennis wig and isn’t wearing the poor lad’s scalp as a hat.

Mary Worth, 10/30/19

ME, YESTERDAY: Ha ha, I’m going to make a joke, here on my blog where I make fun of comics, about how Wilbur is going to have an emotional meltdown on this double date with his ex! But probably nothing that interesting will happen.

ME, TODAY: oh my god Wilbur is so worked up he’s going to start guzzling scotch straight from the bottle to prepare himself, this is going to be more amazing than I possibly could’ve imagined