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Funky Winkerbean, 4/24/17

The fact that there are both American and British versions of The Office makes for a fascinating comparison on how the two cultures have diverged. One difference that I think is underrated is inherent to the very different ways the TV business operates on opposite sides of the pond. The British Office, like most British shows, consists of two six-episode series, plus a couple of Christmas specials. The American version, in contrast, put out 200 episodes over nine years. And there’s just some things you can’t do if you expect people to keep watching that much TV. A lot has been written about how David Brent is so much more insufferable than Michael Scott, and how that proves British TV is meaner or more uncompromising or whatever, but I think mostly it’s just that someone that obnoxious is just barely sustainable over about 8 hours of screen time and not much longer. The more time your audience has to spend with a character, the more they eventually have to like them, or at least have some empathy for them.

Some variation on this is true in comic strips as well. Obviously their characters don’t have to be likable, because if they did Les Moore wouldn’t still be the protagonist in one of the most widely syndicated comic strips in the country. But they do eventually assimilate into the general milieu of the strip, even if they were originally introduced as a foil to the other characters. Take Mason Jarr, for instance: when we first met him, he was an idiot washed-up actor, but then he got involved with one of the strip’s main characters and signed onto a movie about a classic comic book hero, which means that he’s actually good now, so he’s ranting and raving about how a big-budget sci-fi action movie is art and shouldn’t be sullied by fans speculating that it might be recognized by the industry as one of the best movies of the year. This is definitely a thing that nobody in real life would do and yet also definitely a thing that the “sympathetic” characters in the Funkyverse would do because life is suffering and we certainly wouldn’t that suffering briefly alleviated by, say, winning an award.

Family Circus, 4/24/17

I’m going to go on the record as saying I’ve always liked Dolly’s little hat, with its cute ear puffs. It’s a nice period touch from the days of this strip’s origin and also would 100% be something a hipster parent would put on a child and/or wear themself today. Its presence does imply that it’s still winter, or at least winter-ish, wherever the Keanes are. Are snails out and about in cold weather? I actually find them kinda gross, so I’m reluctant to do research to find out, which is also why I’m talking around the fact that the joke of this strip is that Ma Keane is staring at about 7,000 cm³ of tightly packed dead snail. God, the smell. Think of the smell!

Dennis the Menace, 4/24/17

“Back when I was a kid, gender roles were strict! Either you built a house or you wore frilly underwear. All these millennials, they’re comfortable taking what they want from the traditionally masculine and traditionally feminine worlds — hardware and software — and I don’t care for it. Oh, you don’t want me wandering into your house and talking about lingerie in front of your kid, Henry? Well, maybe stop him from coming into my house and playing his fucking horn when I’m trying to take a nap next time.”

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Today’s Easter, the holiest day in the Christian calendar — and it’s on the same day for both Eastern and Western churches, for once. How are the comics doing with it? Not great, to be honest!

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 4/16/17

Never would’ve picked Snuffy Smith as being in the pocket of a big anti-clerical cabal, but here it is, spending its Easter Sunday strip depicting the town’s only clergyman just going from house to house shaking down the impoverished residents for whatever sums they can muster.

Dennis the Menace, 4/16/17

Though I suppose it’s better than today’s Dennis the Menace, in which he sneers that the celebration of Christ’s resurrection is far inferior to the holiday dedicated to his Dark Lord Satan.

Pluggers, 4/16/17

You’d think pluggers, following the traditions of the American heartland, would be in church, wouldn’t you? But no, here’s featured plugger Andy Bear, spending the afternoon coveting the 21st century version of his neighbor’s ass.

Shoe, 4/16/17

And, uh, Shoe is about how if you take the wrong drug cocktail you’ll shit yourself while you sleep? This isn’t related to Easter much, except in the sense that this strip’s very existence firmly disproves the existence of a loving God.

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Mark Trail, 4/10/17

Welp, looks like Mark’s very self-important reveal of his employer has gone right over the bald head of his kidnapper. Sorry, Mark! Usually when you tell people that you write articles for America’s #1 glossy lifestyle magazine for the aspirational outdoorsperson, they show some respect. Not so when you deal with illiterates and ruffians, it seems. And yet … who’s this gentleman in panel two? Is he the real power behind this criminal gang, one or two steps up the Bald Guy Hierarchy? He’s wearing a suit and tie and has a neatly folded pocket square, which means he no doubt appreciates long articles about, like, new kinds of tents or whatever the hell it is Woods and Wildlife publishes. Anyway, I’m not sure if this guy is really involved in our story, or if he’s just some fellow passing through Rapid City Airport, or if he’s the Kingpin, heralding a crossover event that will establish Mark Trail as part of the Marvel Cinematic Universe, but his little smile shows that he knows what’s up.

Dick Tracy, 4/10/17

I had to laugh at the “YELLOW MASK” label in the final panel, an explanatory box of the sort usually reserved in Dick Tracy for tiny gadgets or whatever. Then I remembered that, in theory, anyway, the primary venue for Dick Tray comic strips is the daily paper, where they’re published in black-and-white, so the need to label the visual joke makes slightly more sense. “Look, it’s, uh, it’s a mask, that matches his coat, which you also can’t see the color of but we assume if you’re reading this you know it’s yellow? Just a mask, for his eyes. We know it’s a little confusing. He’s not supposed to stick his dick in it or anything.”

Spider-Man, 4/10/17

One thing that comics are good for is creating new Homeric epithets out of whole cloth and just pretending they’re things that normal people would say in real life, like “badge-boys!” I also like Spider-Man acknowledging that while being a police officer is a full-time job, being Spider-Man is just kind of a hobby he indulges whenever he feels like it, because with great power comes great responsibility so long as there’s nothing good on TV.

Dennis the Menace, 4/10/17

I’m pretty sure that a young child putting his most treasured possessions in the collection plate at church is … about as non-menacing as you can get? Unless he’s trying to bribe God! That’s fairly menacing, theologically speaking.