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Marmaduke, 5/23/08

Laughing at Momma was bad enough, but when I laughed at today’s Marmaduke, I knew that I should see a doctor. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that I don’t really care for coffee, but would love a piping hot cup of gravy; or maybe it’s the fact that Marmaduke and his female owner look so chipper, while the bipedal man of the house looks like he spent the previous evening unconscious in a gutter after being viciously beaten.

Dennis the Menace, 5/23/08

If Joey and Dennis turn to cannibalism, it could make up for many, many years of non-menacing, I tell you what.

For Better Or Worse, 5/23/08

“Isn’t it nice to see guys express their physical love for one another, so they won’t bother us with their disgusting urges?”

Pluggers, 5/23/08

Hey, pluggers! If you spent a little time thinking about your appearance, maybe someone might want to have sex with you! Just a suggestion.

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For Better Or For Worse, 5/16/07

Many have pointed out that today’s patented forced FOOBish pun is extra forced, considering that Warren pilots aircraft that don’t have wings. But it actually led me to contemplate the origin of the turn of phrase. After all, it originally referred to a performer in a play, waiting offstage for their moment to come on; though we’re meant to think that every fictional character has a rich backstory when we don’t see them, the truth is that they really only exist when they’re on stage. Perhaps, like the title characters in Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead, Warren is beginning to dimly realize that he’s just a ancillary character in somebody else’s story, that he exists only to reinforce the Inexplicable Irresistibility Of Liz, and that once he leaves he really will be doing nothing but waiting just off stage until he’s necessary for the story again. The fact that this strip seems to be his valedictory makes things all the more poignant: he knows, at some level, that he’s going to walk off panel and vanish into the narrative ether.

In other news, Warren’s facial expression in panel one is priceless. “Is … is she getting off on rubbing her face on my upper arm? What a weirdo! Gah, let go, woman!”

Beetle Bailey, 5/16/08

“Also, watch out for the horrifying, mutated alien cow-things. Do they eat human flesh? Who knows?”

Dennis the Menace, 5/16/08

America = freedom

Baseball = “America’s pastime”

Dennis hates baseball

Dennis hates freedom?

Dennis is a terrorist and/or communist?

Dennis is menacing?

Good enough. Tee time!

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Apartment 3-G, 5/15/08

Wacky antics Alan will be getting up to now that he has access to the Mills Gallery after hours:

• Turning the place into a meth lab
• Turning the place into a dope salesroom
• Sitting around and getting high on rock
• Sitting in Margo’s office and masturbating, while shouting “Oh, Margo! Tell me how far behind schedule we are! Tell me I’m a screw-up! Berate me! Point angrily at me! Yes! Yes!”

Dennis the Menace, 5/15/08

“So you see, my life is dominated by making one person do things he doesn’t want to do, and making another stop doing the things that he does want to do, to the extent that I have no idea what I want to do any more! That’s why this teacup is full of gin.”

Pluggers, 5/15/08

Pluggers think that going to a store that doesn’t sell beer or guns is a big God-damned waste of time.