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Slylock Fox, 7/13/08

Justice for Cassandra! There’s nothing illegal about walking your dog in painfully high heels and a ludicrously short skirt, and there’s nothing illegal about huffing glue and rooting around in the back seats of taxicabs to see if anyone left anything valuable there. If you don’t want your precious gems studding the collars of local pets and/or S&M bottoms, you should probably keep better track of them.

I’m not sure what’s more disturbing: the fact that there’s a mouse crawling around on the back of the dog owner in the top Six Differences panel, or the many unsettling possibilities as to where that mouse might have gone in the bottom panel.

Judge Parker, 7/13/08

“Sam and Steve shop for golf clubs,” scheduled to run for the six to eight weeks, will make you long for the days of such exciting Judge Parker fare as “Raju gets a makeover,” “Marie sprains her ankle,” and “Sophie recites global warming data she found on the Internet in an unsettling monotone.”

Crankshaft, 7/13/08

It’s nice to see Crankshaft trying to fill the void left by the departure of They’ll Do It Every Time, but the execution seems to lack a certain zing.

Dennis the Menace, 7/13/08

“Meditating” = “high as a kite,” obviously.

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Dennis the Menace, 7/5/08

This is today’s Dennis the Menace! It’s about the Mitchells’ dog urinating all over the back seat of their car.

Garfield, 7/5/08

This is today’s Garfield! It’s about Jon stepping in excrement.

Shoe, 7/5/08

This is today’s Shoe! It’s about a horny, horny bird-lady.

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Judge Parker, 5/27/08

It’s good to see that, even after the sexification of the formerly dorky and prepubescent Sophie, there’s still one constant in her personality: the obvious intelligence gap between her and her parents, and the sense of disgust it instills in her. I love her look of sneering contempt in the second panel. “Jeez, my mother, the accidental dope fiend. LOOO-SER!”

Beetle Bailey, 5/27/08

Thank God World War II is over; if every movie depicting that conflict I’ve ever seen is accurate, at some point Killer would have gotten separated from his unit (presumably after sneaking off to romance some French ladies, or perhaps some French trees). Making his way back to American lines, he would have been confronted by unfamiliar infantrymen who would have demanded that he prove his Yankee status by the one surefire method available: by naming the winners of the past few World Series. The part of his brain normally dedicated to sports trivia having been long been redeployed to work on the arts of seduction, he’d be unable to answer, and would no doubt be summarily executed as a Nazi spy.

Dennis the Menace, 5/27/08

That apple is poisoned, obviously.