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Well, this week is Thanksgiving here in the United States, and one of the things I’m thankful for is taking a few days off of blogging. New comics return Monday! Those of you still checking the Interwebs may comment away here for the next four days (unmonitored by me, so play nice). Meanwhile, I thought I’d unleash the comment of the first half of this week:

“Did you hear about the entity that has qualities or characteristics?” –Skullturf Q. Beavispants offers the ultimate Herb and Jamaal setup

This, combined with Skullturf’s Pluggers triumph, makes November 21, 2007, officially “Skullturf Q. Beavispants day”! But there are runners-up to admire as well:

“I’d look up the exact title of the Curti-verse’s ‘Girls Gone Wild’ parody with the fudge-topping chapter or what-have-you, but doing research on the topic of Curtis would finally kill what little sense of pride I have.” –Flealick

“Do you actually think the Family Circus world-view could survive interaction with 21st-century Earth children? This explains why the ‘action’ in this strip generally involves the children standing around discussing something that confounds them (the location of their heart, ambiguous phrasing, shiny objects). The kids aren’t allowed to leave the home, and are forced to make up adorably-hilarious scenarios for the parents’ amusements. The ‘football tryouts’ were the final test; if Billy went outside, rolled in the mud, and came back to recite the dialogue he was assigned without running away (or crying), he was truly a Keane; and if he did flee the Keane Kompound, the dogs would make short work of him (and the marshmallow ass-padding would assure that the birds picked the carcass clean).” –Flealick

“Do beagles like the smell of vinegar and hate?” –gkl

“Monday I actually found B.C. amusing. Today I laughed at Cathy. Am I dying?” –Brick Bradford

“I’m guessing that Abbey is just the kind of swinger that wants to hear about all of her husband’s sexual exploits. Unfortunately, all Sam Driver will be able to say will be, ‘I just stood there.'” –FSogol

“Please remember that homoeroticism should be erotic. Rex and Niki, homoerotic? Yes. Herb and Jamaal? Not.” –sf_reader

“‘Thanks, Toby. I know it has to be done.’ Prediction: these will be Mary Worth’s last words as she is strapped into the electric chair, right before being sent to hell for all her crimes against humanity.” –Joe

“In today’s A3G, the Perfesser is waaay too happy at being cockblocked by Dick Smothers. ‘Taking my underage trophy-bitch to Hollywood? Why, we must celebrate! Have some of my special Vin du Arsenic ’93!'” –Buck Ripsnort

“Mary Worth? Love? No, no, no. Mary Worth is only using Chester to remind herself of how awesome she is. If Toby would permit Mary to lead her around by a leash and feed her from bowls in the ground, Mary would have run right over Chester in the road.” –The Grandstanding Oddball

Also! Today was actually a double day for Comics Curmudgeon reader-submitted triumph, as today’s TDIET was submitted by faithful reader MWGallaher!

Indeed, who among us hasn’t enjoyed day-old beans out of a can? I almost missed something here (right?) — specifically, this TDIET, so don’t forget to tell me in advance if you’re going to be Scaduto-ized!

Finally, to amuse you while I’m surreptitiously drinking gravy out of the boat, I offer you this amusing bit of Web comic commentary. Faithful reader Captain Thunder took a throwaway gag I did on Dennis the Menace a few months ago and transformed it into an inspired bit of pastiche. Enjoy, and happy Thanksgiving!

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Judge Parker, 11/5/07

Hey there, omniscient narration box, there’s no need to shout! It’s not like the information you’re giving us is even vaguely exciting or interesting.

I’m glad that Sophie has convinced Keith that his climate is changing. For too long we’ve turned a blind eye to the inconvenient truth of Northern California warming.

Dennis the Menace, 11/5/07

Dennis gets a lot of flack around these parts for his total lack of menacing, but I have to say that I’m not going to call him a wimp for being disgusted by the idea of eating his mother’s vomit. That’s just good taste.

Pluggers, 11/5/07

This had better be as close as we ever get to seeing plugger sex, or else I will be wreaking a terrible vengeance on somebody.

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Crankshaft, 11/2/07

I know that life in the now temporally disjointed Funky Winkerbean/Crankshaft space/time continuum is a nonstop parade of ghastliness, but I do thinks the expressions of shock and despair sported by the two poor saps in panel three are bit overblown. They look less like “contemplating yet another one of the ’Shaft’s asinine schemes” and more like “just freed from a multiday hostage ordeal.” Or, to put it another way, less like “contemplating yet another one of the ’Shaft’s asinine schemes” and more like “actually watching one of the ’Shaft’s asinine schemes put into action, only many small children have been tied to the tree limbs before it was set alight.” I guess the inhabitants Funkyworld are always imagining the absolute worst-case-scenario for their lives at any given moment, and with good reason.

Dennis the Menace, 11/2/07

Oh, ho ho! That Dennis the Menace! Mr. Wilson is a fat lump, and Dennis isn’t afraid to point it out! He has no sense of social propriety! Ho ho!

OK, now that we’ve got that out of the way, please tell me the planet on which the following exchange would not be creepy and inappropriate:

Mr. Wilson looks disgruntled not because the neighbor brat has insulted his appearance (he’s sadly used to that by now) but because he’s suddenly realized that his increasingly senile wife has accidentally gotten out the “special” photo album. OH MY GOD MARTHA DON’T TURN THE PAGE!

Judge Parker, 11/2/07

Longtime readers of Judge Parker know that Sophie (here looking more disturbingly like a tiny monkey than ever) has a problem with voyeurism; recall this installment from one artist and 22 months ago (I think that works out to three days in JP’s internal chronology), in which Sophie gloats over having seen Neddy make out with her soon-to-be-ex-boyfriend. At least that was just good clean trembling-on-the-edge-of-puberty curiosity and fun, and neither of the kissees was married to her adopted mother. But don’t worry, Sam! Her lips are sealed! Now let’s talk about a raise in her allowance. Indian personal assistants don’t come cheap, you know.

(By the way, those of you who chortled at JP’s Raju storyline as unrealistic should probably read this.)

Marmaduke, 11/2/07

I’d really like to believe that the white band around Dottie’s waist is the broad white belt that the artist intended us to see, and not the result of her pants falling down so we can see her ass crack and garters. Really, I would. But somehow I don’t think I’m going to be able to pull it off.

On the other hand, I’m very pleased to see Marmaduke revealed as a three-headed demon hound.

Spider-Man, 11/2/07

I really am constantly impressed by Spider-Man’s ability to disappoint me. Just when I think my standards for the strip couldn’t possibly be lower, suddenly some new plot twist comes along to indicate that things are going to be much, much lamer than even I could imagine. Take the Persuader, here. When his upcoming appearance was hyped in a NEXT! box a Sunday or two ago, I was convinced that he was going to be a costumed supervillain of some sort — a spectacularly goofy one, to be sure, à la the Shocker, but a supervillain nonetheless. But now we see that he’s just a beefy guy in a suit. OOOH! He’s blows up newspaper trucks! He cleans his fingernails with a knife! He has a vaguely Hitler-esque haircut! SCARY!!!