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Dennis the Menace, 6/8/22

Damn, Dennis is trying to talk Joey into pulling off some Munchausen syndrome by proxy … by proxy? I guess that would just be regular Munchausen syndrome. Anyway, still extremely menacing all around.

Crankshaft, 6/8/22

I’m not a religious man, but I would urge you to pray to whatever God you believe in that we all will be blessed by a Crankshaft storyline where he and all his old friends lose their money in some extremely transparent crypto scam. Can’t wait to learn what kind of terrible ape-themed malapropism Ed will make as he stares out at us with dead eyes, mentally pushing back his retirement date to sometime in the mid 2040s.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 6/8/22

“Hmm,” thinks Rex. “I’m not thrilled at the prospect of having to leave the house, but on the other hand I do have that trepanning kit I haven’t gotten much use out of lately, thanks to those meddling liberals over at the FDA.”

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Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 6/7/22

I assumed that the distant “Newnited States government” to which Hootin’ Holler owes vague allegiance long ago dispensed with the archaic trial by jury system, but it seems that they’re giving it another go. And who in the Holler is more Snuffy’s “peer” than his mirror image, the patriarch of the region’s other major clan? Sadly, Snuffy has chosen the worst possible day to bust out this particular defense. He seems to be representing himself, but I don’t think he put a lot of though into voir dire.

Hagar the Horrible, 6/7/22

Sad news: Hagar the Horrible, a respected local Viking chieftain, died today of massive third-degree burns all over his body. He is survived by his wife, his two children, and his warrior band, who are currently leaderless and vulnerable to plundering by their opportunistic rivals. He was 48.

Dennis the Menace, 6/7/22

DENNIS DID 9/11

MENACE LEVEL OFF THE CHARTS

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Dennis the Menace, 5/26/22

The only thing menacing here is that Dennis is six years old and should only have the vaguest idea of what “radio” is, and he certainly shouldn’t know that it had a pre-TV heyday. What is Mr. Wilson filling his head with on those constant next-door visits? Is he getting the poor boy hooked on nostalgia, the deadliest drug of all?

Hi and Lois, 5/26/22

Hi and Lois may have moved their family to the most white-bread suburb there is, but clearly they’ve been letting the kids get on the computer or something, and they’ve learned “ethnic” words and are now experimenting with “big city” foods. Is it time to go full Keane Kompound?

Mary Worth, 5/26/22

“So I can smother you with it while you sleep, Jesus Christ”