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Dennis the Menace, 9/14/21

I am absolutely in love with the idea of Mr. Wilson’s identity as a jazz hepcat suddenly becoming another weak point that Dennis can use to send him into paroxysms of rage. I’m not sure which interpretation of today’s strip would be funnier: that Dennis was letting loose with some wild, atonal acid jazz when Mr. Wilson just wants to jam out to Dave Brubeck, or that Dennis was playing square, Lite FM Kenny G bullshit that Mr. Wilson thinks sullies the good name of jazz.

Gasoline Alley, 9/14/21

I do not care about the current Gasoline Alley storyline and refuse to explain even the basics to you, but I do love the final panel here, which in a more interesting world would be the capper of a storyline in which in adorable, aw-shucks talking bear finally answers for his crimes against humanity at the Hague.

Shoe, 9/14/21

“Ha ha, get it? But seriously, they keep running a bunch of tests but can’t figure out what’s wrong with me. They’re pretty sure I’m dying, though.”

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Dennis the Menace, 9/8/21

We all know, of course, that every time the Henry and Alice Mitchell attempt to make friends, their very first social engagement ends in disaster when Dennis says the darndest/most insulting thing in front of them. Mr. and Mrs. Wilson, on the other hand, don’t have any friends, which I’ve always assumed is the reason why they allow Dennis to come over to their house all the time, because the irritation he causes Mr. Wilson is a welcome distraction from the irritation they cause one another. Anyway, George has apparently browbeat some acquaintance, maybe just some guy he played chess with in the park once, into coming over to his house, and Martha has been nice enough to prepare some coffee, but here comes Dennis to ruin everything, just like he does with his parents. I’m beginning to suspect that he acts out just so that he can be center of attention at all times and nobody makes non-menacing acquaintances????

Beetle Bailey, 9/8/12

Sadly, it’s not a violation of the Uniform Code of Military Justice for a general officer to attempt to “build buzz” to create a cult of personality around himself and/or “go viral.” A real oversight, in my opinion!

Dick Tracy, 9/8/12

“Stealing the Time Drone won’t be easy. Dick Tracy’s a close friend of Diet Smith. He always shows up when Smith’s tech is threatened. Plus the Time Drone itself provides its owner with near-omniscience, allowing anyone to see plots unfolding in the past! Diet and Dick are probably watching us right now, from the future!” SORRY I KEEP HARPING ON THIS EVERYBODY BUT IT’S TRUE, I WILL NOT BE SILENCED ON THIS POINT!!!! [flips the bird at Diet Smith, who I assume is watching me type this in the future]

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Family Circus, 8/14/21

So what’s changed in the 17 years since this panel last graced my blog? Well, for one thing, Ma Keane’s attitude on theological questions from her offspring has shifted: Back in the simpler times of the ’00s, she didn’t even bother gracing Billy’s impertinent question with an acknowledging glance, preferring to look out over God’s majestic work and let her silence be an answer; today, as kids can get more and more access to secular humanist propaganda via cable TV and TikTok, she needs to show him her steely gaze to let him know exactly what she thinks of this liberal jibber-jabber. Also, white shorts have gone out of style and blue ones come in — or, I guess since this is the Keane family we’re talking about, maybe the other way around.

Marvin, 8/14/21

Marvin is of course perfectly happy to stew in his own shit — but other people’s shit? That’s a different story.

Dennis the Menace, 8/14/21

This is the sad result of the over-emphasis on STEM subjects in primary education today.

Blondie, 8/14/21

Blondie, your favorite shoe store is going out of business, and you think that’s “great news”? Yes, you’ll get some big savings today, but try to think in the long term!