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Mary Worth, 7/15/19

Oh wow, it looks like the extremely terrible trend of “negging” has finally hit France, or maybe Hugo has learned it as part of his cultural studies here in America, but either way he’s taking it to the next level by negging not just Dawn’s appearance or personality (seems like there’d be a lot of rich material with that one in particular) but her whole country. Which, yeah, we have a lot to answer for, especially when it comes to culinary matters, but I think you lose your right to talk smack about how and what other people eat and drink when you’re in the middle of eating a sandwich with a fork.

Hi and Lois, 7/15/19

Ha ha, kids today and their Wi-Fi, amiright everybody? Anyway, feel free to speculate how long Chip has been isolating himself socially and refusing to leave his room that he’s forgotten that his wireless connectivity ends when he leaves the house.

Dick Tracy, 7/15/19

Well, it’s Monday and it’s time for a new Dick Tracy storyline, and this one starts with … Dick being gunned down in the pouring rain right outside his precinct? That’s pretty solid, actually, though it’s honestly weird to see it so soon in the week, as it’ll be pretty hard to top.

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Hi and Lois, 7/12/19

Cheer up, Chip! You may not be part of the lucrative stable of intellectual property held by the Walt Disney Company, but Hearst Communications, the parent of King Features, is no slouch! In a tough media landscape, Hearst remains profitable and in fact its revenue grew in 2018. Of course, a closer look a the numbers reveals that nearly 40 percent of 2019’s profits will come from “business and medical data and software operations,” which might mean that the whole comics division is going to be spun off and sold to a private equity fund so Hearst can focus on its core competencies. That’s when you really need to start worrying, buddy! In the meantime, enjoy being subsidized by the aviation-safety data company that’s under the same corporate umbrella as you for whatever reason!

Dick Tracy, 7/12/19

Ha, nice try, Dick, but you don’t get to be a billionaire war profiteer without knowing a thing or two about how to deal with nosy cops, and one thing you know is that you definitely don’t answer casual questions about how it sure looks like you killed your wife without, like, a team of lawyers present.

Six Chix, 7/12/19

I’m not going to lie, y’all: I’m kind of in awe of the extremely bleak turn this joke takes very, very quickly.

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Dick Tracy, 6/27/19

Hey, remember last summer when Sawtooth took in a midnight showing of Rocky Horror in order to bite a guy to death and Sam Catchem happened to be there? I guess Rocky Horror is one of Dick Tracy’s “things” now and you know what Dick Tracy does with its “things”: gives a villain a really on-the-nose name related to them and a corresponding facial deformity. Looking forward to seeing how Tony Rocky Horror’s skull shape somehow coveys the concept of unintentional camp!

Gil Thorp, 6/27/19

OH MY GOD I immediately take back everything bad I said about Gil Thorp yesterday because today we learn that this summer’s real Beloved Character From The Past is in fact Hadley V. Baxendale! Hadley was the star of the very first Gil Thorp storyline covered on this site, which involved her and her boyfriend and fellow feminist agitator Steve Luhm fighting for full-sized lockers and equal cheer squad support for the girls’ teams. I’ve always wondered what happened to her over the last fifteen years, and since she partnered up with a pro basketball player/intellectual while her ex became a teve dropped out of college and became a bitter janitor, I’d say she’s doing pretty well for herself!

My only complaint is that the comics colorists don’t know what to do with the front of her hair, which is supposed to be a Sontag-esque grey streak, which she’s had since high school. Also I’m not really sure what “you were” is supposed to mean in the final panel. Like, did Coach Thorp remember “Oh, Hadley’s like super political, she probably isn’t going to change her name after marriage, which I guess means … she’s going to change her name … before marriage? That’s how it works, right? I mean, she’s gotta change her name sometime.”

Shoe, 6/27/19

The thing I like best about this strip is that Skyler is sitting in this chair, inches away from the TV, his eyes heavy with ennui, just like we’ve seen his uncle again and again and again. It’s as if he’s daring the Perfesser to make some snide remark about millennials and their darn screens.

Marvin, 6/27/19

Remember when Vince Neil, at the height of his Mötley Crüe decadence, did an incredibly insincere anti-drug PSA? That’s pretty much the vibe I’m getting from today’s Marvin. “Kids, you might think from the usual jokes in this strip that sitting around in a diaperful of your own piss is fun. But what if I told you about, uh, butt mold? Pretty gross, huh?” [goes back to making jokes about how sitting around in a diaperful of your own piss is fun three times a week for the next six years]