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Rex Morgan, M.D., 6/16/05

“I told you, boy! I told you! I told you that if you tried to go into some kind of pansy-ass line of work like ahr-kee-ology that someone would try to beat you to death with a fence post!”

Seriously, I’m not sure what makes a profession “manly,” but if it puts you in a position where you might be bludgeoned to death, well, that seems pretty damn butch to me. Of course, I’m sure that’s just the sort of fancy-pants graduate school logic that would enrage Pater Foxworth all the more.

Also: It’s been covered already by you witty commentators, but I feel obligated to share this bizarre Gil Thorp panel with the masses:

Note to high school baseball coaches who use images of the Virgin Mary as pitchers: if your icon of the Holy Mother of God begins to sweat and/or weep blood, it’s time to bring in a reliever. May we suggest St. James the Just? Or Coleman. Whatever.

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Gil Thorp, 6/14/05

“My mom’s a freak about my hands and lips.” Now there’s a sentence I can honestly say I’ve never seen in the comics before, and hope to never see again.

What’s with the Batman-villain-style weird angle of the house in the third panel? I’m thinking that, what with much of adolescent sexuality centering around the hands and lips, it’s the Rap-Dog’s little world spiraling down into a pit of despair.

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Gil Thorp, 6/7/05

I realize that I haven’t been keeping you in the loop much since the big police bust in Gil Thorp a few weeks ago. Basically, through a ludicrous sitcom-style contrived overheard conversation, the Milford jocks/compulsive gamblers now know that there’s a card cheater in their midst, but they haven’t figured out who it is. Today’s installment manages to drag out the supposed drama of the situation for another day before the shocking denouement. It’s a transparent attempt to make us care about a not-so-interesting kerfuffle. And yet … it works on me! I’m interested, nay, eager to know who’s making this dramatic off-camera announcement, even though I know that he or she will be so poorly drawn that I won’t be able to tell who it is! I’ve been sucked in! Damn you, Gil Thorp! Damn you straight to hell!