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Archive: Heathcliff

154

Mostly one-panel menaces

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Heathcliff, 6/16/25

This is, of course, a hilarious joke about rectal thermometers, and I laud the strip for being subtle enough to not use the words “rectal” or “butthole” or anything like that. However, just to make sure you get the point, Heathcliff’s butt, hanging out the window for his protection, has been depicted in a subtle but still vividly shapely manner, with gentle curves letting us know that yes, the punchline of this panel is specifically about Heathcliff’s ass.

Herb and Jamaal, 6/16/25

Look, Jamaal, I’ve been frank and open about the fact that I too struggle with difficulty remembering the names of acquaintances, even when I remember so many stories about them and details of their lives that it would be extremely embarrassing to ask them, once again, what their name is. So I appreciate you trying out this little “life hack” here, but I don’t think it’s practical. Think of all the social interactions required just to ensure you both end up at the same coffee shop at the same time! Surely his name’s going to come up at some point in that process. So, I like your creativity, but let’s keep brainstorming on this.

Dennis the Menace, 6/16/25

Oh NO but your mom ISN’T HERE RIGHT NOW so he’s gonna DRIVE RIGHT INTO A WALL and you guys AREN’T EVEN IN CHILD SEATS, this is gonna be a BLOODBATH

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Are his wish-granting capabilities all sunflower-focused

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Heathcliff, 5/21/25

Real heads who read Heathcliff daily know that most weeks have a theme of some sort — “dirt week”, “garbage week”, and so forth. This week is “sunflower week,” and the way it’s unfolded is a pretty good demonstration of how the current delightfully deranged iteration of Heathcliff works. Monday’s panel was pretty normal, all things considered: Heathcliff and a baseball manager are sitting in a dugout, Heathcliff is spitting sunflower seeds the way baseball players do, there are a bunch of very tall sunflowers (normal sunflowers without human faces, mind you) growing in the dugout, taking up most of the room, and the manager says “No more chewing sunflower seeds.” You could see a version of this as a New Yorker cartoon. But things have escalated: today Heathcliff is standing in the outfield, summoning a grinning, sunglasses-wearing spirit, the so-called “Genie of the Sunflower Seeds,” from his snack packet. And it’s only Wednesday! Imagine how much weirder this could potentially get!

Mary Worth, 5/21/25

Is it, Belle? Is it cute that Wilbur is admitting, right in front of Willa, that originally he liked Stellan better, and now considers Willa his “best little buddy” only because Stellan died? Because I don’t think that’s cute at all, actually. I think it’s pretty fucked up.

The Phantom, 5/21/25

Some might criticize the continuity strips for their glacial pacing, especially strips that are supposed to be about superheroic action. But if The Phantom were fast-paced, could it afford to spend an entire strip on Kit’s erotic reverie? That’s not a tradeoff I’m willing to make!

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Saturday quickies

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Mary Worth, 5/10/25

God, I really want to hear the withering contempt Dawn is putting on the word “love” here, which is being conveyed orthographically by the quote marks. Not sure if she’s implying that the relationship is purely sexual or if instead she’s seething about Wilbur being genuinely besotted, which is obviously even more pathetic.

Heathcliff, 5/10/25

Does that make it … better? I don’t think it does. I think that when the animals are driving little cars around your supermarket and those little cars are made out of really fresh and delicious food, that’s worse, actually.

Pardon My Planet, 5/10/25

Wow, they finally made a Pardon My Planet that made me genuinely chuckle! It’s about the sex lives of courtroom furniture, obviously.