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Rex Morgan, M.D., 7/18/21

“Wow, so instead of straining to come up with story elements ex nihilo like I’ve been doing, you used aspects of your everyday life for raw material? Brilliant! By the way, you’ve never heard of ‘character rights,’ have you? Great, great.”

Panels from Hagar the Horrible, 7/18/21

Have you ever wanted to see an elderly Viking woman learning the basics of supply and demand curves … the hard way? Well, the throwaway panels from today’s Hagar the Horrible are for you, my friend.

Hi and Lois, 7/18/21

I’m actually kind of surprised that legacy cartoonists, who have some of the most secure jobs on the planet, don’t just straight-up put their erotic fantasies in their strips more often. I’m definitely not surprised that those erotic fantasies involve golf, though.

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Mary Worth, 7/14/21

It looks like Ashlee is really learning some important lessons here. Physical objects, like watches, can have emotional resonance for their owners, which makes you feel bad about stealing them. But money? Money’s totally fungible. Who’s gonna care about money? Ashlee’s about to grift Drew out of a bunch of money, is my point.

Dennis the Menace, 7/14/21

I like that this panel sets up a fun little mystery (why is Dennis being driven somewhere by the Wilsons?) and then immediately solves it (they’re taking him to prison, where he’ll pay for his many crimes).

Hi and Lois, 7/14/21

“Hey, you know how our baby loves staring directly into the sun? Well, I know you said we shouldn’t just let her spend hours crawling around on the floor next to the giant picture window without any supervision, but hear me out on this better idea I just came up with.”

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Gil Thorp, 7/13/21

It’s summertime in Milford, everybody! Is this the year we’re going to get a wacky summer storyline that isn’t about golf? Maybe! We definitely are going to get a wacky summer storyline about a beloved character from the past: Heather Burns, who you might remember as the girl who convinced a professional basketball player to get a master’s degree in history, possibly one of the worst pieces of advice I’ve ever seen given and I read the Mary Worth where Mary told a woman that if she didn’t like her past she should just remember it differently. Anyway, I can’t wait to see what Heather learned in Iowa (possibly after taking out tens of thousands of dollars in loans to get an MFA in creative writing) that will definitely help her career as a poorly paid writer for a dying small-town daily newspaper.

And in the other plot, we have … well, golf, I guess! At least one guy’s wearing a dumb hat, though. Can’t wait to see what antics this hat dude gets up to!

Hi and Lois, 7/13/21

Speaking of golf, I know it’s a rule that legacy cartoonists have to spend the entirety of each and every workday absolutely consumed with thoughts of all the golf they’re going to play when they’re finally done drawing cartoons for the day, but I think they’re supposed to actually come up with a punchline before they head out to the links, sorry guys.

Shoe, 7/13/21

[don’t get mad don’t get mad don’t get mad] IF YOU THINK HE TALKED FOR TOO LONG WHY ARE YOU MAD THAT HE TALKED SO FAST, WOULDN’T THAT HAVE MADE THE WHOLE THING GO QUICKER?????? [aw crap I got mad]