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Mary Worth, 6/2/25

Did you know that the psychological “fight or flight” response is more accurately called “fight, flight, freeze, or fawn”? I think it comes as no surprise to those of us who (sadly) know them all too well that the Westons, having belatedly realized that they are in the presence of an apex predator, have gone the “freeze” route, hoping that if they sit very still and offer the most weaksauce and unrealistic excuses for not eating mushrooms imaginable, she’ll lose interest and wander off. The really sad thing is that the extremely on the nose Fatal Attraction reference is lost on Wilbur and Dawn, since they’re both philistines whose media diets consist of watching old Evander Holyfield fights on YouTube and “clean eating” influencer content on TikTok that comes right up to the edge of promoting anorexia without violating the terms of service, respectively.

Intelligent Life, 6/2/25

Speaking of philistines with terrible media diets, this strip would’ve been a good opportunity to name some of the movies, comics, conventions, or cartoons that are coming out in 2025, but instead Intelligent Life decided to simply … not? I guess what’s giving Mike life is not the movies or comics themselves, but just the reassurance that this particular form of cultural and economic production will continue at least through the end of the year.

Andy Capp, 6/2/25

Was it Cappverse canon before this point that Andy has a big juicy booty? If not, it is now, and I for one am not complaining.

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Shoe, 3/10/25

Man, it would be concerning if you were a bird parent from a species that primarily ate fish and your son didn’t want to eat fish, especially considering that, bird-wise, the main way you get fish for your kid is to eat it yourself and then barf it up for them. I can see why you’d write a pleading letter to the editor of the local paper, though it’s pretty funny that said editor would just be like “ditch your ungrateful kid and get with a cat instead.” This may be affected by said editor’s species: Shoe is, as helpfully pointed out by a surprisingly comprehensive table on the Shoe (comic strip) Wikipedia article, a purple martin, a largely insectivore species in contrast to his fish-happy employees Cosmo Fishhawk and Loon. Everything else aside, domestic and feral cats are also one of the main predators of bird species, but the purple martin’s current conservation status is “Least Concern,” so I guess he’s not too worked up about that either.

Heathcliff, 3/10/25

Now that I’m returning to Heathcliff on the regular, I must report that it’s still following its late-era dream logic to surprising and disquieting places. Heathcliff hates dogs, sure. The local dogcatchers are a tight-knit society with their own social institutions, I buy that. Said dogcatcher community respects Heathcliff because of his aforementioned hatred of dogs, makes sense. And so they … get lower back tattoos of Heathcliff’s face? To signal all this information to one another, sexually? Yes, the chain of reasoning holds together, but if the rule you followed brought you to this, of what use was the rule?

Intelligent Life, 3/10/25

I once cruelly but accurately described Intelligent Life as being “about a number of unpleasant people who are obsessed with ‘nerd’ franchises (i.e., most of modern film and TV entertainment) in the most boring way possible.” I guess I should’ve added a compliment about its one redeeming feature, which is that it’s almost never about pissing and shitting. Too late now, I guess!

Pluggers, 3/10/25

Oh, you’re telling me that a plugger will substitute lower-cost calories when the price of a favorite foodstuff goes up? Are they ever so special and financially rational? Should we tell everyone? Should we throw a party? Should we invite Professor Hal Varian, who’s written extensively on economic substitution effects?

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Family Circus, 1/17/25

OK, I know comics are, by their nature, cartoonish, and there isn’t always that much variety between faces so other characteristics are used as cues to ID characters, but when I first saw this panel I immediately thought that the lady behind Dolly has Ma Keane’s face and now I can’t shake it. It’s Ma Keane in a weird wig and a weirder fake chin! It’s like one of those movies where Tilda Swinton plays multiple characters (which also makes me think that Tilda Swinton could plausibly play Ma Keane, which would be terrifying and amazing).

Intelligent Life, 1/17/25

Damn, Dark Haired Intelligent Life Character Whose Name Is Not In The Dialogue Today And I Don’t Remember It And Refuse To Look It Up: your friend Mike sounds like he wants to do drugs with you, which frankly would be the coolest thing that ever happened in this dork-ass comic strip. And you suggest watching Doctor Who instead, like a damn nerd! I love Doctor Who and never do drugs myself and even I’m kind of embarrassed for you.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 1/17/25

God, I love the way Michelle is waggling her wedding ring at Summer in the first panel. “Oh, are you sad and lonely at home by yourself? Couldn’t be me! Check out the bling! Big spouse haver over here!”

Curtis, 1/17/25

WARNING: GREG WILKINS KNOWS HE IS IN A COMIC STRIP AND IS AWARE OF THE STRUCTURE OF HIS FICTIONAL UNIVERSE, CONTAINMENT BREACH IMMINENT