Archive: Lockhorns

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Gil Thorp, 7/24/17

It’s pretty clear what’s happened here: our hapless colorist, befuddled by Mudlarkian banter and unable to tell Trey Davis and Jaquan Case apart when Trey’s mohawk isn’t in view, and made the fateful mistake of emblackening Trey’s partially visible profile in the third panel. Still, it’d be a lot more interesting of Jaquan didn’t just have minor knee surgery, but also a dissociative personality disorder that results in multiple identities jockeying for control. “Maybe I’ll return to the NBA–” [much deeper voice] “IGNORE HIM” “No, I’m just–” “HE’S HAVING AN EARLY MIDLIFE CRISIS” “I can’t let this happen aga–” “KILL! KILL! KILL!”

Lockhorns, 7/24/17

I’ve always been comfortable actually having very little idea about how old the Lockhorns are supposed to be, but I’ve also always been sure that they’ve been somewhere in the 35 to 50 range. Today’s panel seems to undermine everything I thought I knew, though. Unless Leroy has made himself a fake ID so he can get senior discounts? That’s why he loves it. He’s proud to show off his handiwork!

Six Chix, 7/24/17

Ahh, yes, it’s the classic cartoon trope, where you do a riff on the stereotypical adultery discovery where someone blurts out “My wife … and my best friend!” after walking in on them in bed together. Lotta variations have already been done, though! So why not do one where a lady comes into the bedroom and apparently sees a dog having sex with a giant, nightmarish arachnid, a scene that apparently makes her smile slightly and flutter her lashes while the dog looks at her sheepishly and the tick writhes on its back under the covers? Why not do that? Why not print it in newspapers across the country? Why not let everyone know that you thought about it, and drew it, and think it’s funny?

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Crankshaft, 5/18/17

I admit despite myself that I’m weirdly fascinated by this Bubba Watson cameo in Crankshaft this week, which has mostly served as a variation on one of the strip’s running “jokes,” which is that the guys are cruel to and dismissive of Lena, who has never been show to be anything but a nice person. Anyway, one thing that’s really jumped out at me is that Watson’s caricature hasn’t had any actual dialogue, as if he’s in this strip because he actually lost a real-life bet, but has negotiated some concessions to retain a smidgen of dignity.

The Lockhorns, 5/18/17

I guess Leroy’s diagonal lean is supposed to represent the fact that he’s getting down from the barstool and heading home to spend time with his hated wife, but I prefer to believe that he’s just about to teeter over into drunken unconsciousness, and “unhappy hour” is his little nickname for being face-down blackout drunk on the filthy floor of a bar.

Family Circus, 5/18/17

Yes, Kittycat does pray before meals. She prays to Bast, the cat goddess of the Egyptians, a much more ancient god than the one her cruel, melon-headed captors worship. She prays … for vengeance.

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Rex Morgan, M.D., 5/17/17

The last however many seemingly interminable days of Rex Morgan, M.D., have involved Kelly agreeing to take on extra after-school childcare duties at the Morgans so that June can go back to work at the clinic, with June talking a lot about finding a “balance” between family and professional life. Today’s strip is intriguing because it reveals the truth about the balance that upper-class families seek: that it is purchased at the expense of working-class people who need the money badly enough that they neglect their own personal lives so that the wealthy can enjoy a well-rounded existence. This radical political message is however a little undercut by the fact that we’re talking about Kelly, a high schooler who mainly wants to spend more time with her boyfriend on her off hours so she doesn’t have to give him surreptitious handjobs while she’s supposed to be babysitting. But, I would argue, if June deserves both professional fulfillment and a two-child family, then so too do Kelly and Niki deserve the full range of teen fooling around that their social betters take as a given.

Shoe, 5/17/17

Say, have you ever had the experience of seeing a comely tattooed young woman in a tight, short skirt, and you can’t stop seething about how the decline in America’s morals means that supposedly respectable girls go around dressed like prostitutes these days but also can’t stop visualizing her every time you close your eyes? Well, good news: if you have a comic strip that sometimes features erotically drawn bird-women, you can work your problems out … through your art.

The Lockhorns, 5/17/17

Wait wait wait, are Leroy and Loretta supposed to be … younger than me? Welp, time to die