Post Content

Judge Parker, 2/27/20

How’s Judge Parker Senior’s mayoral campaign going? Well, when he had his surrogates float the idea to the media that he might be thinking about a run, they ran a story on the evening news featuring footage of him being led off to prison in handcuffs, so, not great, it turns out! Still, Sam urges Alan to keep his focus on the people he’s really working for: the prisoners, the ones he met in jail and who helped him understand things about society that he never had before, the ones who he’s going to free by dynamiting the prison walls and turn into an unstoppable army that he’ll use to rule Cavelton with iron fist. Remember how Bane ran Gotham for the last half of The Dark Knight Rises? It’ll be like that.

The Lockhorns, 2/27/20

Wow, never mind the typical gloomy facial expressions on Leroy and Loretta: check out the profoundly intense frown on the face of their poor houseguest. I mean, you don’t expect anyone hanging out with them for any length of time to be happy about it, exactly, but this poor fellow seems to have absorbed the house’s negative energy like a sponge and is probably going to drop dead of a bile overdose at any moment.

Zits, 2/27/20

Zits is not a strip I talk about very often here, but I promise you this: I will always absolutely let you know when it abruptly veers into ass-themed body horror.

Mark Trail, 2/27/20

Wow, you heard it here first, folks: Rusty is going to get red-pilled by reading the unpleasantly ribald comments about Luann on GoComics.com.

Post Content

Daddy Daze, 2/19/20

Daddy Daze Daddy’s long-term plan to teach his baby to destroy … to wreak havoc … to kill … is coming along nicely!

Mother Goose and Grimm, 2/19/20

Here’s today’s Mother Goose and Grimm! It’s about a dog who just pisses all over a seat in a movie theater.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 2/19/20

I love how Tildy is staring knowingly over her soda can at Rex in panel two. She may be a little dotty, but she definitely can feel the gears of narrative convenience churning to push her towards an ending of happy heteronormative monogamy, and she does not care for it.

The Lockhorns, 2/19/20

Sure, it’s because Leroy and Loretta, like many cartoon characters, only have four digits on each hand, but I cannot imagine anything more on-brand than the Lockhorns wearing their wedding rings on their middle fingers.

Mark Trail, 2/19/20

“Quick, we’ve got to get out of here, before he finds us!”

Post Content

Daddy Daze, 1/30/20

So this week I’ve decided to add some new strips to my rotation, and one of them is Daddy Daze, billed by King Features as being about “Paul, the single dad who amicably shares custody of little Angus with ex-wife Amy, as he juggles an at-home job and domestic duties.” Admittedly I’ve only been reading it for a week or so, but it seems to be more about “Paul, a single dad imprisoned in some featureless void with only a preverbal infant for company, eventually driven to madness by his loneliness and inventing increasingly deranged and nightmarish imagery out of his son’s babbling.” It’s real grim stuff.

Judge Parker, 1/30/20

So one of the ongoing Judge Parker plots is that Sophie, still suffering PTSD after her kidnapping, is, much to Abbey’s consternation, hesitant to apply to college because really, why bother, why should we act like any of us have a future, anyway? But it seems she’s now discovered a way to add meaning in her life at least in the short term, by helping her family friend and actual criminal Judge Parker Emeritus get elected mayor. Sophie’s political views are somewhat eclectic, ranging from “climate change is bad” to “any self-respecting polity ought to have a fleet of secret flying death robots to wreak havoc on its enemies,” so she should do great with Future Mayor Parker’s campaign, which mostly seems based on the idea that “Uh hey guys I went to jail for a while and it turns out jail sucks.”

The Lockhorns, 1/30/20

Have I ever liked Leroy Lockhorn? No, of course not. He is, inherently, not a likable character. But do I want to see him hurled to his death off the roof of whatever depressing suburban office building he works in? No. That’s too much. It’s too much!