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Beetle Bailey, 3/9/19

Wow, the physical abuse Sarge routinely pours onto Beetle has never before been so clearly linked to the sexual advances from Miss Buxley that Beetle seems so eager to avoid. Shoutout to Beetle Bailey for keeping it fresh when it comes to the dark network of perversity underlying the relationships among its characters.

The Lockhorns, 3/9/19

I honestly kind of like the Lockhorns panels that are clearly just an excuse to use some joke the writer heard or thought up rather than one rising organically from the title characters’ mutual distain, and I appreciate that care is taken to place the gag in the proper Lockhorns context of marital misanthropy. Sure, this is a cute little joke of the sort that might make a long-married couple giggle together at the back of a church during the wedding of an acquaintance. Loretta’s withering glare reminds us that the Lockhorns are not that kind of a couple.

Dennis the Menace, 3/9/19

I don’t know why but I’m very fixated on why Henry’s hair is mussed and shirt untucked? Maybe I’m missing something very obvious but I don’t get it! Like, was he pacing the house flailing his arms around and tearing his hair out because their guests were so late, growling “Ugh, they’re so late and I’m so mad about it but the rules of politeness dictate that I not mention their lateness when they arrive! I certainly hope nobody spills the beans about how upset I am at them!”

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Marvin, 2/17/19

I know the joke here is that Jeff is swearing continuously while shoveling but has to briefly stop while his son is within earshot so he doesn’t pass on any bad habits. But honestly, the more realistic scenario is that Jeff is doing that innocent whistling thing as he pretends not to notice that Marvin — who, remember, is a toddler who should probably be supervised at all times — is just wandering past him and trudging out into the icy winter landscape, presumably to his death.

Panel from The Lockhorns, 2/17/19

I really appreciate the point-of-view we’re getting in this panel. It’s as if we’re being invited to imagine what the Lockhorns’ home would seem like through the eyes of something in their refrigerator: long hours of silence and darkness, punctuated by brief moments where you get a glimpse of them attempting to passive-aggressively wear one another down emotionally.

Spider-Man, 2/17/19

MJ’s coup de grâce seems to be based on the assumption that if they can’t see Killgrave, he will no longer be a threat. Soon our heroes will face their most powerful foe yet: object permanence.

Mary Worth, 2/17/19

Ah, so Toby is explaining to Ian that he shouldn’t get too fixated on any one attractive young woman who says nice things about him, because probably there are lots of attractive young women who are lusting after him all the time! Can’t see anything going wrong with this plan.

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The Lockhorns and Pluggers, 1/26/19

Man, here’s a couple of single-panel comics that seem to have gotten their wires crossed today! Normally, The Lockhorns restrains its deep well of misery to the emotional sphere: sure, Loretta constantly trash-talks Leroy’s skimpy paychecks, but that always seems more of a way to belittle him rather than an actual complaint about their finances, as they seem to have no problem paying for Loretta’s shopping sprees, endless and no doubt pricey marriage counseling, and what I assume are their sky-high auto insurance premiums. Have they finally reached the point when Loretta is beginning to secretly pawn their household items in order to buy groceries, or did she do it just to annoy Leroy, “accidentally” bringing him by the window in yet another move in their longstanding chess game of emotional destruction? Pluggers is where we expect to see desperate pawn shop episodes; pluggers have survived true horrors, both foreign and domestic, so don’t try to tell me that the biggest danger they face is on the golf course.

Crankshaft, 1/26/19

It’s true: beloved (?) ancillary Crankshaft character Ralph is having a heart attack! Today we’re getting to the real dramatic heart of this storyline: Ralph is having a heart attack, and it’s going to inconvenience Crankshaft.