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Crock, 8/18/20

Crock is in perpetual reruns now, and it’s hard to tell when exactly any given strip was composed, which is fine when they’re making light-hearted jokes about the grueling century-long French colonial occupation of Algeria, but can get wonky when the strip tries to grapple with “current events.” Like, I guess this dates from the period (the ’90s, I think?) where Wal-Mart’s rapid expansion to retail dominance was noteworthy instead of just a historical footnote to the transition to Amazon’s stranglehold on all commerce. Anyway, I’m not quite sure what the joke here is supposed to be. Is Grossie waiting by the sign with her cart a “women be shopping” gag, which misses the fact that the gag is specifically about shopping as a high-end indulgence and doesn’t really work if it’s “women be shopping for low-priced daily necessities”? Or is her knowing grin just supposed to convey something like “Eh? Eh? Capitalism? Eh?”

Funky Winkerbean, 8/18/20

This massive wildfire may have displaced hundreds of thousands of people, but at least it’s giving Marianne a chance to really understand what it was like to be married to Les, an opportunity that she surely regrets so, so much.

Daddy Daze, 8/18/20

Is he … is he afraid his son will eventually want to have sex with a brain? Is that the joke here?

The Phantom, 8/18/20

Did … did the Phantom murder or terrorize a couple of waitresses so his daughter and her friend could have a job that earned them a little pocket money? Is that the joke here?

Marvin, 8/18/20

Ha ha, it’s funny because Marvin’s poops are more deadly than a unprecedented worldwide pandemic!

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Gil Thorp, 6/27/20

So, uh, the slobs vs. snobs battle between Milford and the alternative school is ending actually fairly realistically, with the snobs kicking the crap out of the slobs, to the extent that one of the Milford kids came in to pitch for the other team and is offering advice to try to staunch the bleeding. This is pretty sad, actually, but I’m hoping the bad kids are just lulling the Mudlarks into a sense of complacency, so that their guard will be down when the stabbing starts

Dick Tracy, 6/27/20

Ugh, you guys, Shaky sucks as a villain so bad, he’s so low-stakes and his personality is dumb as well, like the only thing that’s interesting about him is that he’s a biological sex toy and they haven’t even talked about that except that one time. His current grift involves stealing belt buckles for some reason and, when confronted with his crime, he both denies it and hurls the belt buckle in question at the cops, and somehow he managed to make even that boring.

Marvin, 6/27/20

Folks, we all know Marvin is a comic strip about people going to the bathroom and dogs going to the bathroom. But did you know it’s also about birds going to the bathroom? Truly, the lesson here is that no matter how secure you feel in your position, you should never stop innovating, creatively.

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Family Circus, 6/18/20

The Family Cirus has been teasing us with hints that the Keanes exist in a world where the coronavirus epidemic is raging, but today is the first time we’ve seen confirmation, with everyone out and about in masks. Thank goodness that the Keanes’ home state has hit whatever phase of its reopening plan includes incredibly depressing stores that sell ugly earth-tone polo shirts to families who’ll give them as Father’s Day gifts to fathers they don’t really like very much.

Mutts, 6/18/20

Hey there, adorable lisping cat from Mutts! I know you’re a real sweetheart who loves everyone, but you aware of the term obligate carnivore?

Marvin, 6/18/20

OH WOW A MARVIN PUNCHLINE ABOUT PEEING ON SOMEBODY, WHO COULD’VE PREDICTED