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Hi and Lois, 10/30/24

Never mind Trixie’s baby brain being incapable of parsing this metaphor. What kind of fool’s paradise have Hi and Lois been living in that they look so worried about the very notion of an investor looking to buy a house, do some perhaps superficial renovations to it fairly quickly, and then selling it for a healthy profit? Are you telling Lois that houses are, in addition to a place to live, a commodity and an investment vehicle as well? She’s been a realtor for years and this is the first she’s hearing about this.

Mary Worth, 10/30/24

The big and extremely predictable Mary Worth news is that Dr. Ed has agreed to take Estelle back or whatever. All they had to do is agree to give up things that they’re passionate about and instead rely entirely on one another for emotional validation. Can’t see anything going wrong with that plan!

Rex Morgan, M.D., 10/30/24

Oh, you’re telling me that Rex might respond to a naive, cute, and slightly gross question one of his kids poses by making him feel weird for ever asking it, and moreover will work to make sure that he keeps feeling weird for the rest of his life? Yeah, that tracks. Sarah might’ve gotten a touch of the amnesia, but she definitely remembers Rex’s whole deal.

Six Chix, 10/30/24

We all, of course, remember the fable of the tortoise and the hare. Well, what if the two title characters in that story explored each other’s bodies, sexually? Or at least thought about it?

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Mary Worth, 10/24/24

If I know Mary Worth, and I’d like to think at this point that I do, I’m reasonably sure that Estelle and Dr. Ed will, in fact, end up back together. However, I appreciate the fact that she’s maintaining a somewhat realistic attitude about the matter. Like, yeah, maybe you have some regrets, but the guy whose engagement ring you hurled into his chest at full force in front of a bunch people at his vet clinic — the vet clinic where he was overworked and you started volunteering to help out at, from which you stormed out that day and presumably have not been back since — that guy might not be in the headspace to pick up where you left off. And that’s fair! Can’t hurt to ask, but it’s fair if he says no! At least a vision direct from God will keep her from marrying Wilbur, even if it means dying alone!

Hagar the Horrible, 10/24/24

Because I’m the specific kind of dork that I am, my immediate thought reading this strip was, “Wait, are these Vikings supposed to be a bride-price culture or a dowry culture? You can’t have it both ways!” Well, after doing a little research, it turns out the dichotomy I half remember a friend of mine explaining to me when she was taking Anthropology 101 during our freshman year of college was a little reductive, because you can have it both ways and the Vikings did: their marriage rituals were preceded by an elaborate and reciprocal series of gift exchanges between the bride’s and groom’s families. Now, that sounds like a big waste of time to me because you end up with the same amount of money at the end of it that you started with, but I guess it helped establish and tighten kinship bonds or something. Whatever, I’m not going to tell them how to live their lives! Wouldn’t do much good anyway, seeing as they’re all dead.

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Hi and Lois, 10/20/24

It’s a bold choice to have Hi and Lois make direct eye contact with you, the reader, in the final panel here. This isn’t just a cute domestic scene; it’s a polemical tract, tailored to urge all of us to not be so quick to “tidy” that we purge beloved memories of our past. Frankly, I’m glad I didn’t read this before I spent a lot of time and energy reorganizing my closet a couple weekends ago, as I’d probably still have a bunch of shirts I never wear hanging up in there. “Let’s leave it! It’s a time capsule!” I’d tell my increasingly irritated wife.

Family Circus, 10/20/24

The Family Circus’ bread and butter is what I like to call “darndest thing saying,” which is the Keane Kids trying to explain some aspect of the world or talk like a smart adult but fucking it up very badly, due to idiocy. However, today’s installment makes a fatal misstep, because one of the darndest things they say is actually correct! We really do call autumn “fall” because of falling leaves — in fact, the original phrase was “fall of the leaf.” Does Billy, like me, spend his time entertaining himself exploring word origins on the Online Etymology Dictionary site? If so, he probably enjoyed learning that “autumn” comes to us from Latin but may ultimately have an Etruscan root, and that there is in fact no common Indo-European word for the period between summer and winter, which may imply that the steppe herders of the proto-Indo European urheimat did not perceive it as a distinct season.

Mary Worth, 10/20/24

I think Wilbur has finally hit his logical endpoint as a character: he has become the human embodiment of rock bottom. The prospect of marrying him is so vile and horrifying as to make literally any alternate scenario seem preferable. The middle panel in the bottom row comes from Estelle’s fictional dreamscape, but I assume it will haunt your very real nightmares tonight, as it will mine.