Archive: Mary Worth

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Judge Parker, 10/23/25

I don’t know if I’ve actually spelled out the current Judge Parker situation, but it goes like this: April vanished after her Norwegian spy encounter and Randy vanished after going off in search of her, leaving their daughter Charlotte in the care of her increasingly drunk and depressed grandparents and, once they got too drunk and depressed, Neddy. Charlotte has been rather shy and withdrawn under her semi-competent care, until she got wind that Neddy and Sophie had a pet squirrel at one point in their youth (possibly in their foundling days before Sam and Abbey took them in, this is deep lore from before my time) and went absolutely berserk. You never know what’s going to trigger a child who’s experienced significant emotional trauma, but that face in panel two is one of the most terrifying things I’ve ever seen in the comics. I assume that Neddy is holding onto her temple because Charlotte’s shrieks are growing so intense that she’s afraid her skull is going to shatter like an eggshell.

Mary Worth, 10/23/25

Speaking of terrifying children and their mental powers, I am dying at Jeff’s dialogue here. You have to imagine that “Did that really happen, Mary?” was put in a painfully neutral tone, and then, when he had to come back with “I agree with you. I’ve been around enough to have seen things in life that cannot easily be explained!” he took it to the next level of neutrality, because he knows he needs to be very careful if he wants to get back to shore alive.

Dick Tracy, 10/23/25

Hey, remember Silver Nitrate, who last we saw a year and change ago was having a hard time in prison? Well, he’s still having a hard time, and now he’s got to decide if he trusts the prison infirmary to dispense psychopharmaceuticals that will actually soothe his mind instead of potentially making things worse. It’s a real downer! I think this strip should go back to violent gangsters with weird shaped heads shooting tommy guns at people, personally!

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Mary Worth, 10/22/25

“Sure, she can predict the future and bend animals to her will, but not in a big showy way that would attract attention! Sort of like how you own a boat large and powerful enough to defeat entire navies from anytime before about 1850 but you just use it to putter around the harbor once a month or so, if the weather’s nice.”

Dustin, 10/22/25

I’m pretty sure we’ve never seen Dustin express any interest in comic books or geek culture before? Despite what I said yesterday about nerd stuff, this makes his personality more interesting than I frankly find plausible.

Mother Goose and Grimm, 10/22/25

Yeah, so these guys are just staring into big bowls of brown … soup? Chocolate? Dog food? I don’t know if it’s fattening, but it’s definitely not appetizing.

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Beetle Bailey, 10/19/25

When Yuri Gagarin made the first human spaceflight, there were concerns that the experimental capsule he rode into space in would land too roughly for him to survive, so he actually ejected from the craft about four miles up and parachuted to the ground. He landed on a collective farm and, still wearing his space suit and helmet, almost caused a local woman and her granddaughter to panic, but he told them “Don’t be afraid, I am a Soviet citizen like you, who has descended from space — and I must find a telephone to call Moscow!” Beetle, unfortunately, will receive no heroic welcome, just an all-American suspicious invocation of property rights.

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 10/19/25

I do enjoy the different facial expressions on the sheriff and the judge in the final panel. The judge, who still believes that he’s operating within an impartial system of justice, an objective institution that stands above petty squabbles, looks put out by Snuffy’s jibe. But Sheriff Tait, who holds elected office — indeed, as far as we know he’s the only elected official the residents of Hootin’ Holler ever interact with — he gives our boy Snuffy a sly smile. He knows what Snuffy’s talking about! He knows all too well!

Mary Worth, 10/19/25

Hey, do you ever worry about our direction as a country, and, frankly, as a species? Well, have faith: in New York City, there’s a thirteen-year-old who can sort of see the future and talk to dogs with her mind, in very specific circumstances. I think we can all agree that she’s the answer to all our problems. Nothing more to worry about, let’s move on to the next story and find out what’s up with [spins giant wheel] Tommy, like is he on drugs again or what.