The Comics Curmudgeon

Main Menu

Social Media

Archive: Mary Worth

Comments are closed

Dawn will absolutely never learn anything about herself, are you kidding

Post Content

Mary Worth, 12/14/24

OK, reading this almost sent me into a downward spiral — and here I will pause to tell you that after typing that, I thought, “Hmm, is this really a thing I want to admit out here in public on God’s own internet?” but then I realized that you guys have read this blog, I’m obviously in the top percentile worldwide of people who are most likely to have been sent into a downward spiral by a Mary Worth comic — but anyway, I got sent into a downward spiral by the thought that Dawn had a whole-ass relationship that I had forgotten about. Who is this “Billy” character? When did we meet him? True, Dawn said they only went out for a “few weeks” but Mary Worth chronology is notoriously languorous, so that could refer to a storyline from months or years ago. I think the last time we heard about Dawn’s love life was when she fled down to go live with her mother because she was still broken up about her comical drip of an ex Jared, only to return when it turned out that her mother didn’t really care for her either, but it nags at me that there might be an entire earlier “Billy” storyline that I’m somehow forgetting. Was Billy the guy with a tiny face she ogled at the zoo? Some dude she picked up at da clurb? Or just some loser so dull he didn’t even rate an appearance in the syndicated comic strip Mary Worth? Anyway, I look forward to learning whether Dawn’s newfound veganism is a pathetic attempt to spite him somehow or an even more pathetic attempt to win him back.

Judge Parker, 12/14/24

I was going to object that Judge Parker Senior lives in leafy suburbia on an estate large enough to have its own hedge maze, so it seems weird to think there’d be CCTV cameras around, but then I remembered that he’s a notorious criminal himself, so the local authorities are right to be careful.

Hagar the Horrible, 12/14/24

Today’s Hagar the Horrible is about Hagar’s emotional life and how it affects his interactions with his friends and family. Honestly, I like it!

Comments are closed

Wednesday is for dumb kids

Post Content

Hi and Lois, 12/11/24

Wait a minute, wait a minute, hold the damn phone, six months ago Hi seemed genuinely depressed to not receive golf gifts for Father’s Day, back when the kids unilaterally cancelled Father’s Day. Anyway, if Ditto is going to try to do some “turnabout is fair play” on gifts, Hi’s move should be to say “Hey, remember when you cancelled Father’s Day?”

Dennis the Menace, 12/11/24

OK, I’m just genuinely flummoxed by this one. Only thing I’ve got is that Dennis has the Benjamin Button disease and he used to be much taller, and his shrunken, aging brain is vaguely remembering this? I feel menaced in my confusion, but not in a fun way.

Mary Worth, 12/11/24

Mary has had a lot of experience interacting with Dawn, so she knows she has to remind Dawn that she recently became vegan to set the stage for the meal. That girl has a lot of fine qualities, but object permanence simply isn’t one of them.

Comments are closed

Maybe she’s fallen in with Sonia, or, worse, Brad

Post Content

Mary Worth, 12/10/24

I guess (for once) Wilbur leaving town is providing us with an opportunity not to see what Wilbur gets up to outside of town but rather to see what happens in the Wilbur-shaped hole left behind. What happens is that Mary is going to make dinner for Dawn literally on her first night alone, which seems a little overprotective, but she might as well learn now that Dawn is now … [extremely dramatic music sting] … VEGAN???? Or, at least she “started a vegan diet,” which implies that she’s doing this as a weight loss thing or a “cleanse” or whatever rather than out of ethical concerns over animal welfare. I know, Dawn doing something wacky for self-interested reasons would be a real shocker. Anyway, Mary was last seen eating a nice salad herself, but presumably it was well-dusted by bacon bits and drenched in a creamy dressing. Could she create an even vaguely edible meal without such crutches? This will be her greatest challenge yet!

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 12/10/24

Speaking of vaguely edible meals, I do “Ha ha, it’s funny because the residents of Hootin’ Holler are crushingly poor!” riffs on this blog not because I think it’s actually funny, but because I find it fascinating that there’s a longstanding syndicated newspaper comic where that’s the background radiation of the worldbuilding (see for instance: patched curtains forming the “walls” within the Smifs’ one-room shack) but it isn’t usually directly addressed, because that would be depressing. But today’s strip, where Loweezy attempts to extend her family’s meager food supply for another day to stave off both boredom and starvation, is a little too on the nose.

Marvin, 12/10/24

“Wait a minute,” I said to myself as I said this. “Why would Jeff have a bunch of pictures of Marvin on his phone? He hates Marvin!” Based on his facial expression in panel three, he’s coming to the exact same realization.