Archive: Mary Worth

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Funky Winkerbean, 11/14/17

Oh, hey, remember those comic book covers Darin inherited? Well, he’s decided to auction them off to benefit Lisa’s Legacy Fund! The comic book covers are incredibly valuable, naturally, I don’t think we even need to question that, even though the embittered artist who left them to Darin died in poverty, so probably the money they’ll raise at this big auction will finally put the Lisa’s Legacy Fund over the top and they’ll cure breast cancer. Anyway, while today’s dialogue is a real treat for fans of word-sequences that no human being would ever utter, don’t let it distract you from the colorist’s error in panel two that produced a nightmare mass of writhing hands sticking out of Darin’s torso.

Judge Parker, 11/14/17

Huh, is Randy going to become a prison-reform radical as a result of his wife’s imprisonment? Is he going to bring down the carceral state … from the inside? I’ll just point out that, while April has some justified beefs with the prison-industrial complex, I don’t see her questioning, say, the government’s employment of an army of shadowy assassins operating across a dizzying array of intelligence agencies.

Spider-Man, 11/14/17

Man, when I filled out that survey last month about what I wanted to see more of in future Spider-Man storylines and checked the box next to “Spider-Man walking and/or web-slinging into things, painfully and face-first,” I didn’t think I’d get results so quickly!

Mary Worth, 11/14/17

And heeeeeeeeeeeere comes the grift

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Gil Thorp, 11/9/17

I’ve decided to settle in and just genuinely enjoy this Gil Thorp plot, which seems to ask us to unironically believe that Uncle Gary’s quest to make Rick Soto a viral singing sensation (a) could work and (b) would change his life if it does. After a vigorous astroturfing campaign got Rick the coveted anthem spot, Uncle Gary is swinging into action, bringing together video editors and social media experts to create the seemingly perfect organic explosion of worldwide interest in Rick Soto’s patriotic pipes. Look at Gary in the control center in panel two, with his bluetooth earpiece and mid-grade laptop! And in panel three … well, if grandpas of all people are watching Rick’s videos, can a Grammy award for Most Patriotic YouTube be far behind?

Spider-Man, 11/9/17

Man, I get it, the life a celebrity is exhausting, travelling between glamorous cities and promoting your films and what not. Sometimes you just want to go visit your old family friend, a dangerous lizard-mutant, and sun yourself on a rock in his terrarium, away from the probing eyes of the press, you know?

Rex Morgan, M.D., 11/9/17

Buck’s ex is of course violent, abusive, and delusional, and trying to separate him from his new, healthier relationship is a classic abuser move, but in panel three we get to see just how delusional she is. Like … does she think selling comic book panels on eBay is how a guy like Buck can woo a lady? That’s … that’s not how anything works, man.

Mary Worth, 11/9/17

[Not shown: four panels of Iris saying, “No, it’s too late in the evening, coffee will keep me up all night,” and Zak winking at her in increasingly exaggerated fashion and saying “No, not coffee, but, you know … coffee.”]

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Six Chix, 11/7/17

Each of the titular six chix only gets a comic in one day a week in this strip. So, I can see how frustrating it would be if your assigned day was Tuesday, but you came up with a joke about Daylight Savings Time that’s so side-splittingly hilarious but also poignant, timely, and not at all baffling or opaque that it seems a crime not to publish it a few days later! Thank goodness King Features decided to treat this whole week as “Daylight Savings Week” and allow continued time-laffs through at least Saturday so we could enjoy this strip.

Mary Worth, 11/7/17

Technically, Wilbur isn’t an explorer at all, since he’s travelling to countries with long-established populations that are well-connected to our global civilization. Iris, on the other hand, is an explorer, as she’s going to explore her long-neglected erotic sensibilities — which, again, is in contrast with Wilbur, whose signature sex move is to remain absolutely still until the danger passes.

Mark Trail, 11/7/17

As an LA resident, I personally find this Mark Trail very relatable. Driving all the way to LAX is a huge pain in the ass, and there are a variety of easy transit and ridesharing options you can take without too much expense or hassle. If you pick someone up at the airport, they had better be the perfect guest, in my opinion!

Beetle Bailey, 11/7/17

I know Major Greenbrass’s line in panel one is phrased so unnaturally in order to set up the punchline, but I’d like to imagine that he’s careful to avoid big technical words that General Halftrack doesn’t understand, like “electricity.”