Post Content

Gil Thorp, 7/12/25

Hey, remember when Keri was in horse therapy, for their eating disorder? Well, big news: they took their horse therapist Britney to prom! Is that … ethical? Like, I’m pretty sure you shouldn’t take your therapist to your prom, but is horse therapy really therapy, like in a professional ethics sense? I guess maybe it is, since Britney was accurately able to diagnose Keri as “sad,” even with no horse present. In the end, maybe this is the real reason why you shouldn’t take your therapist to prom: you will end up having to talk about, like, feelings and stuff, right there in your dad’s minivan, when you should be figuring out how to surreptitiously cop a feel.

Archie, 7/12/25

Ha ha, laugh it up if you will, Archie and Betty, but you have probably gotten Jughead into quite a bit of professional trouble, as all the dogs he’s being paid to care for have escaped, possibly running into traffic! Though I guess Jughead should have anticipated this possibility and not have allowed the dogs to gather at the unlocked front door. Frankly, given how crazed this pack seems, they may have devoured him hours ago.

Mary Worth, 7/12/25

Mary looks positively deranged with excitement in this second panel, proving that for her, there’s no more powerful drug than an opportunity to tell her boyfriend that they won’t be spending any time together for a while.

Post Content

Archie, 7/10/25

I honestly enjoy the fact that some nameless gal is clearly scoping Archie and Reggie out in the first panel, and that Reggie reacts approvingly to Archie’s lustful career decision making, rather than with his usual annoyance at his frenemy’s antics. These kids exist in a sea of horniness! At last, the strip is being up front about it!

Luann, 7/10/25

Speaking of seas of horniness, Bernice seems to be approaching a Lucky Eddie situation, vis-à-vis human-on-fish action, and I can’t say I’m as approving of this one. Sorry to be “vanilla,” but I gotta draw the line somewhere!

Mary Worth, 7/10/25

“It’ll be nice to see old friends again! Or rather … young friends! Who are … older now, I guess? But still young? Look, Mary, I’m gonna be real with you, I have taken several Ativans and I am having a hard time finding my bearings in this conversation.”

The Lockhorns, 7/10/25

“Just on his face and arms, though. And I made sure he had tube socks on so his feet stay nice and pasty, the way his OnlyFans subscribers like!”

Post Content

Mary Worth, 7/8/25

“God damn it,” you’ve probably said to yourself, repeatedly over the past few months, “Are we going to get a non-Weston recurring character in Mary Worth at some point, or are we trapped in some kind of No Exit-style hell with Wilbur and Dawn specifically?” Well, good news: Olive is back, everybody! Johnnys-[gender neutral]-come-lately may not remember that Olive was a little girl who lived at Charterstone, who had psychic powers and maybe talked to angels, though that could’ve all been a side effect of her “tummy brain.” She was largely neglected by her parents because they were so horny, though they did try to have her special powers removed by a doctor, but he later turned out to be a junkie, so they ended up not doing that after all. Then they moved to New York, and usually when people leave Charterstone and/or Mary’s immediate field of vision they’re dead to her, but she actually visited Olive in the Big Apple and bought her a watch, and also checked in with a guy she had previously sexually rejected in the context of high-stakes cake-baking competition, but that’s not really related to Olive so we’ll forget that for now. Anyway, Mary’s going back to New York City, baby! What psychic adventures will she and Olive get up to? Will she meet up with another former beau, possibly handsome Broadwaysman Ken Kensington, who she flirted with on a different trip to New York while Jeff was busy saving lives in Vietnam or whatever and only didn’t hook up with because New York’s traffic was simply too scary for her. I am excited, obviously! Very excited! Wilbur better not fuck this one up, somehow!

Dennis the Menace, 7/8/25

I’m not sure if Henry’s facial expression here is meant to indicate “Jesus Christ, George, what exactly are you doing with my son that’s causing a repetitive motion injury” or “Jesus Christ, George, I’m leaving at this hour of the morning specifically so I don’t have to talk to anybody, why are you talking to me about Dennis, who I very much do not want to think or talk about”

Bizarro, 7/8/25

Wait, so human skeletons are also the grim reapers for reptiles and insects? That’s not right. I object both on philosophical grounds and because seeing a drawing of a mayfly skeleton in a cloak would’ve been much funnier.