Post Content

Six Chix, 9/6/23

One of the sad paradoxes of aging is that pets can be a great source of comfort and happiness for older people, but many rightfully worry about what will happen if their beloved animals outlive them. But what if your soul in the next world could reach out to the living to ensure that your pets were cared for? “FEED. THE. CAT.” your dead voice would echo, coming from everywhere and nowhere, burning in the brains of your family or just anyone who happened to be within a few miles of your home. They plug their ears but can still hear the command thrumming, having crossed unfathomable space and time to arrive on earth. “FEED. HIM. FEED. HIM. FEED HIM.” The cat himself daintily licks his paws, seemingly unaware of the commotion but also extremely confident that he’ll be fed on time.

Mary Worth, 9/6/23

“Whoa there, Drunky McNewlywed, my taupe globules pair best with room temperature tap water, capisce? You can start getting lit when you’re already on your way out the door and I won’t have to deal with your drunken antics. I’ve been burned before!”

Blondie, 9/6/23

Elmo, a good alibi is when you establish that you couldn’t have committed a crime because you were somewhere else at the time. This is just you saying “Oh, I didn’t do that thing I was supposed to do, because I was doing something else.” Honestly, I’d go so far as to say that this not only isn’t a good alibi, but it isn’t an alibi at all.

Post Content

Mary Worth, 9/4/23

Folks! Mary Worth is taking a moment off from her tale of old people engaging in state-sanction monogamy in order to acknowledge that Hot Labor Summer is here and she is all in favor of it. Whether you’re a Hollywood celeb member of SAG-AFTRA or a hotel maid organized by Unite Here, Mary is happy to come to your picket line with delicious muffins, bottled water, and personal-sized bottles of sunscreen.

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 9/4/23

Snuffy Smith, on the other hand? Snuffy absolutely supplements his chicken-stealing and moonshining revenue by occasionally signing up with the Pinkertons to help crack some skulls if the miners in the next holler over get a little too big for their britches.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 9/4/23

Rex Morgan, meanwhile, is focusing on the complex modern-day economy that complicates the traditional division between labor and capital and leaves various independent contractors and entrepreneurs entangled in their attempts to extract ongoing revenues from intellectual property. I’m kind of sad that we never got to see the conversation between Mud and Buzzy Cameron where Buzzy explains that they need to set up a trust account for Rene’s rightful share of his music revenues, in case the court decides to award it to his many victims or whatever.

Shoe, 9/4/23

What’s the age cutoff for a heterosexual woman who unselfconsciously refers to a platonic female friend as a “girlfriend”? 40? 50? Anyway, it’s too bad nobody younger than whatever age that is reads newspaper comics, because they might be briefly intrigued, though ultimately disappointed, by the idea that Shoe is about a pansexual bird polycule.

Post Content

Mary Worth, 9/3/23

For those who haven’t been keeping up with Mary Worth in the aftermath of the Saul-Eve engagement, what happened was that Mary ran into them down at the jewelry store, and she was like “Is that a wedding ring?” and they were like “Yeah, we’re getting married!” and she was like “Can I come?” and they were like “Uh, yeah, sure.” It’s very funny when someone invites yourself to your wedding and you feel like you’re not allowed to say no for whatever reason, but it’s extremely funny when someone does it when you were planning a wedding with no actual guests. You think it’s just going to be you, your beloved, and Associate Supreme Court Justice Sonia Sotomayor for some reason, but nope, here comes Mary! She’s gotta be involved somehow!

The Phantom, 9/3/23

Today’s Phantom is great and I frankly think more legacy strips should, when they run into narrative trouble, just do a strip where they have the strip’s creator, who’s been dead for 25 years, try to come up with the next plot twist. Bonus if you depict them working in what appears to be the office of a private investigator in a 1940’s film noir.

Panel from Slylock Fox, 9/3/23

Man, you know things are getting dark when even cultural elites like Sir Hound are saying things like “Those humans are getting to be a real problem … one that requires a solution. A final solution, if you will.”