Mark Trail, 10/5/06
Molly is a coward who would rather humiliate herself than fight.
Marmaduke, 10/5/06
Marmaduke is a sexual harassment lawsuit waiting to happen.
Pluggers, 10/5/06
Pluggers have senile dementia.
Spider-Man, 10/5/06
Hitler is a big fan of Nicole Kidman.
One Big Happy, 10/5/06
Aldo Kelrast really was the ghost of Captain Kangaroo.
Mary Worth, 9/19/06
While we can’t really tell that Aldo’s car is in motion here as he chugs down his bargain-basement booze, I think you and I both know that it is. And while some square lame-os will tell you all that this makes him a bad person, I think you and I both know that it actually makes him totally awesome. If there’s one thing that can make up for the bowl haircut, the late-70s ‘stache, and the dorky polo shirts all in one deft move, it’s tipping back a bottle of hooch with one hand as you try to navigate Santa Royale traffic with the other. Aldo’s willing to smear himself along the side of a school bus for our amusement, which is more than any of those so-called “responsible drinking” advocates can say. It certainly trumps Gil Thorp’s Marty Moon, who just drank himself into a stupor in a parked car like a little wussy.
Garfield, 9/19/06
I haven’t really changed my opinion about the slightly retooled Garfield of recent weeks: yes, it suddenly has other characters, and yes, it’s slightly funnier, but it still pretty much blows. Today’s strip actually supplies something of a metaphor for this, visually. When you first look at it, it looks like, in typical hack fashion, the same drawing has been photocopied and reused three times. But if you look at the final panel more closely, you can see that Jon’s upper lip is protruding out a bit more than in the previous two, so obviously some redrawing work has gone into it. So, I can appreciate that effort on a theoretical level, but in a larger sense, why bother putting in the work in the service of this gag, which manages to hint at something unspeakably perverted and yet actually just be dull and lame? The difference is noticeable, but ultimately not important. Which is in the end how I feel about the changes to the strip.
Pluggers, 9/19/06
You’re a plugger if nobody in the world would rather be you.
Blondie, 9/14/06
Since I try to say something nice on this blog at least once a month, I will say that today’s Blondie actually made me laugh. I too would watch debates on the Sandwich Channel with great interest. Plus, if this exchange actually occurred, it would be the first time in the history of punditry that the construction “shove [something] down my throat” was used correctly. Note to TV talking heads and angry talk radio callers everywhere: something being paid for with tax dollars or featured prominently on television is not being “shoved down your throat.” Please try to keep this rhetorical device in reserve for something that merits it, like, I dunno, mandatory fellatio laws.
Pluggers, 9/14/06
Commentors on yesterday’s thread have already pretty much said everything I would want to say about the ostensible “joke” of this panel, but I do want to address the reason why the Chief Plugger has chosen to not actually depict a plugger in today’s feature. Note that the individual who contributed the idea is known only as “Sapiens.” This presumably is meant to emphasize that he is a member of our species, Homo sapiens (the reason why a plugger would drop off the “Homo” should be fairly obvious). Since the inhabitants of the Pluggers strip are not human beings at all but rather freakish, mutated Beast-Men, it’s probably for the best that no attempt at visual representation was made today.