Post Content

Dick Tracy, 12/12/20

Oh, wow, I didn’t think this hippie storyline would take a sharp turn into hard drugs, but sure, yes, absolutely, I’m extremely here for a Sam cleverly sneaking into the home of a couple of cocaine fiends who can’t decide if cocaine is delicious candy or a medical necessity, and who react to his stern law enforcement by throwing cocaine in his face. There’s only one possible outcome here: Sam gets some cocaine up his nose, and, as is the nature of these things, immediately becomes addicted to the terrible substance, and must fight this awful curse for the remainder of the storyline.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 12/12/20

Ha ha, yes, if there’s one thing Rex Morgan definitely has and is known for, it’s a sense of humor! Look, you can tell in panel two that he’d definitely be smiling, if his cheek muscles hadn’t atrophied from years of disuse.

Post Content

Funky Winkerbean, 12/6/20

“What if we had a character make a bad joke and then other characters point out that it’s a bad joke? That makes a good joke, right?” is of course a classic Funky Winkerbean bit, but I have to admit I don’t fully understand how it’s playing out here. Is the non-Mindy portion of the gang divided into rival “Mopey Pete is funny” and “Mopey Pete is not funny” factions? Is the simultaneous “HA! HA! HA!” meant to be read as sarcastic, mocking barks? Or is Darrin the only one here willing to speak truth to power? (Or, since everyone here works at a failing comics company, I guess that should be “speak truth to utter powerlessness.”)

Mary Worth, 12/6/20

Sure, the resolution of this plot seems to indicate that Brandy and Tommy’s love is strong, but that Billie Holiday quote sure undermines that, doesn’t it? I guess Brandy can just turn her love on and off like a faucet, based on what her therapist tells her! You better tread carefully, Tommy.

Dick Tracy, 12/6/20

Welp, I guess the spider plot is over, folks! I’m now very excited at the prospect of seeing Dick Tracy shoot some hippies, though probably not as excited as Dick is at the prospect of shooting some hippies.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 12/6/20

GOSH, YEAH, IMAGINE IF YOU DIDN’T LIKE BUCK BUT STILL HAD TO SEE HIS DUMB FACE IN, SAY, THE NEWSPAPER ALL THE TIME

JUST IMAGINE IT

Post Content

Shoe, 12/1/20

As is so often the case with Shoe, the eyes really tell the story here. Roz’s are bugged out in panic, of course, as she watches her life’s work and only source of income literally going up in smoke. The Perfesser is experiencing sympathetic shock in panel one, but by panel two has already wound down to his typical heavy-lidded ennui. He’s realized he’s got to die somewhere and somehow, so it might as well be here, where he’s wasted so much of his life, via smoke inhalation.

Beetle Bailey, 12/1/20

Beetle Bailey is of course a strip where every single character’s name is incredibly, painfully on the nose. The most recently introduced recurring character is a “computer whiz” tech specialist name Chips Gizmo, for Pete’s sake. So I’m not surprised that they needed the name of a general for a boxing gag and so just went straight to “Dempsey”; I am surprised, and pleased, that they made him young, handsome, and so clearly and wholesomely pleased about the prospect of punching General Halftrack in the face.

Dustin, 12/1/20

Look, man, he asked you if you were excited about the conference. You could’ve just said “no,” you know? Jesus, is everyone in this strip just incredibly sour about everything?

Rex Morgan, M.D., 12/1/20

From the feature that thrilled you with “Rex waking up” — get ready for the edge-of-your-seat excitement of “Buck falling asleep”!