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The Lockhorns, 5/22/19

I gotta give The Lockhorns credit here: this panel contains a classic “male character is aroused by a sexy nurse character” scenario, but acknowledges that no actual medical professional has worn the stereotypical white “sexy nurse” uniform in decades. However, the direction they did end up going with it, where the nurse is wearing typically pastel scrubs but, like, form-fitting, short-skirted, sexy scrubs, is perhaps even more insane and unlikely, so I suppose I gotta give them credit for that too!

Rex Morgan, M.D., 5/22/19

Oh, huh, I guessed I called it correctly: it’s an armed robbery! I’m very intrigued to see exactly how Rex Morgan, M.D., will make an armed robbery boring.

Family Circus, 5/22/19

Dolly joined a cult because she thought it would finally make people pay attention to her! It isn’t working very well.

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Dustin, 5/20/19

OK, I guess today I’m going to formalize what’s becoming a regular feature on this blog; this is another installment of Josh, A Gen-Xer And Thus A Neutral Party, Assesses The Accuracy Of Dustin, A Strip About The Clash Between Millennials And Baby Boomers That Blatantly Favors The Latter.

What today’s Dustin gets right: Millennials do seem to love astrology! Like, love it a little too much! It’s like a whole thing!

What today’s Dustin gets wrong: Millennials don’t get their horoscopes from a physical newspaper, and also don’t look at job ads in a physical newspaper, and also job ads in a physical newspaper are no longer a particularly useful way to find jobs.

Ha ha, but, horoscopes and the kids today though! Am I right folks?

Rex Morgan, M.D., 5/20/19

Kelly and Niki have become insanely square compared to their origin stories as a sass-talking goth and petty thief, respectively, but they and their pal Barfy McChokerson are the closest this strip still has to interesting characters, so I guess I’m glad to see them. What do you suppose is the deal with those guys over at the next table, the ones vibrating like tuning forks? Are they shaking in anxiety as they work on the nerve to rob the joint? Are they addicts who are starting to twitch uncontrollably as they go into withdrawal? Are they just chilly? Is the air conditioning up too high, and they were right on the edge of being cold and then made the mistake of ordering iced coffees? Should they have worn more layers?

Funky Winkerbean, 5/20/19

Say, it’s been a while since we checked in on the Les-Cayla marriage. How’s it going? Today’s strip really gives us a sense of the sweep of that whole relationship, from the early days when Cayla was still capable of being disappointed by Les, to today, when she’s just completely numb to his bullshit.

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Six Chix, 5/14/19

The most prevalent forms of urban fauna in my neck of the woods are feral cats and coyotes, so I had to check to see of “Deer Be Gone” spray was an actual thing — it is, and it’s a supposedly non-toxic liquid that just adds an unpleasant flavor to plants. Still, the deer’s panicked reaction has me sticking with my initial take on this cartoon, which is that the lady was originally levelling a rifle at the deer until someone at the syndicate remembered that killing Bambi’s mom tested badly with audiences.

Marvin, 5/14/19

You have to really respect Marvin for constantly innovating in its core mission, which is to present you with scenarios where one character comes in unwanted contact with the feces of another character, much to the pooping character’s delight.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 5/15/19

Oh, man, remember when the boys got the eggs out of the fridge? I don’t, because we never actually saw it in this strip, but it sure would’ve been fun to see! More fun than today’s strip, in which we’re explicitly told that literally nothing of note happened.