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Slylock Fox, 11/6/23

One thing I’ve never really considered about the post-animalpocalypse Slylockverse: what do the other sapient animals think about the great apes? Are they considered just one more stone in the brilliant mosaic of a multispecies world? Or are they too close to the mostly exterminated H. sapiens for comfort? Today we learn that at least some of these apes unnaturally trim their fur to better resemble stars of the clownish human entertainments that the animals still watch and half-understand. This is, I assume, off-putting for everyone involved, as Slylock’s facial expression here seems to indicate. Yet if Slick Smitty were to catch site of these stooge-apes and fly into a violent rage at their cruel mockery of his massacred fellow humans, he would be the one put in jail! Is there no justice?

Rex Morgan, M.D., 11/6/23

Sure, there have been a lot of changes to Rex Morgan, M.D., over the years, but we should never forget that this is primarily a strip about Rex and June Morgan, who react to perceived bullshit with some of the most hilariously withering facial expressions known to man. Whether you’re about to start a fight at a funeral or filming an informercial on your recent kidnapee’s cell phone right before you turn yourself in to the cops, the Morgans will not attempt to compose their faces into expressions of polite interest or even mild distaste.

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Rex Morgan, M.D., 11/2/23

Oh, fine, I guess Buzzy and Mud aren’t boxing Rene out of the profits from his own brainwashing scam, or are at least using a stock photo of him as part of the sales pitch. You can’t profit off your crimes, but nothing about the Mirakle Method itself was criminal: it’s not illegal to transform someone’s personality to the extent that he refuses to perform “Muddy Boots” for a theater full of roots country maniacs, though that may change if the bipartisan Play The Hits Act finally passes through Congress this year.

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 11/2/23

Speaking of criminality, it’s always important to remember that Snuffy has done some really nasty stuff, things that would result in nationwide calls for his immediate arrest and execution if they were ever known to the public.

Mary Worth, 11/2/23

“Why was may attempt to conquer and occupy these women with deadly force repulsed? Was there a problem with our tactical execution? Were the strategies handed down from the officer corps inadequate? Or have I once again been betrayed by the politicians in Washington who aren’t fully committed to the mission?”

Hi and Lois, 11/2/23

Oh, is your kid’s little darndest-thing-saying making you world-weary there, Hi? Maybe you should do some self-reflection about why he’s more familiar with a slot machine than a bank.

Marvin, 11/2/23

I’m sure literally nobody out there has been wondering how Marvin’s grandfather’s friend’s marriage is going, but I’m here to tell you anyway: It’s not going well! It’s not going well at all.

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Crock, 10/27/23

If, like me, you have constructed a professional life that requires you to read the syndicated newspaper comic strip Crock every day, you need to learn how to “make your own fun.” For instance, despite my usual attempts on this blog to humorously link Crock with the actual history of French colonialism in North Africa, I generally “hear” the dialogue in my mind in standard English. But what if these guys have been speaking in comical French accents this whole time? What if Crock pronounces the improbable name of the new man in the “computer section” as “vee roos”? That would definitely be funny, right? Or at least funnier than whatever else is going on here? Please, I need this.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 10/27/23

“Say,” the average Rex Morgan, M.D., reader is thinking to themselves, “now that this whole Rene storyline appears to be wrapping up, I’m left with a question: should I care about it, or about Rene as a person and motivator for events?” Here’s one Rex Morgan, M.D., character to give you the answer: no.