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Mary Worth, 10/15/06

Can I confess something to you? Like Toby, I’m looking for closure: Closure on the Aldo storyline. Sadly, I think this may be as close as we’re going to get. I think the best we can say about Mary’s thought-balloon trip here, which is redolent of an old Burma Shave ad, is that it’s short and to the point. At least she’s trying to make a good show of things: her moronic trio of friends are just openly gawking at her, as if they’d never seen an act of human kindness before in their lives.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 10/15/06

I was going to say that Rex contemplating whether or not June should quit her job without actually, you know, asking June is a bit retrograde, but then I realized that this is coming from the same creative team that’s having June parade about in a towel for our titillation.

It’s interesting that Rex is encouraging the only other medical professional who works in his practice to quit, especially since he recently agreed to help out at a free clinic for uninsured children. Maybe he finds being around his wife such a distasteful reminder of the heterosexual façade that is his life that he’s looking for any way to minimize his contact with her. “Yes, honey, you stay home with little Sarah, while I work at our practice … and the children’s clinic … I’ll be home … next week … maybe …”

Of course, it’s possible I’m misreading this and that Rex is talking about quitting his job for a while. In which case, I’m actually looking forward to the adventures of Rex Morgan, Unshaven and Unemployed Layabout.

Dennis the Menace, 10/15/06

In an attempt to recapture his “menacing” cred, Dennis assumes the powers of divine judgement and condemns Margaret to everlasting hellfire!

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For Better Or For Worse, 10/9/06

Well! The witnesses need to stay in town, you say? That sure is inconvenient for any of the witnesses that might have out-of-town boyfriends that they’re trying to build a relationship with! And plenty convenient for total losers who have nowhere else to go but might be able to wear down the objects of their affection with their constant mewly, schlumpy presence! Yes, it appears that every aspect of Liz’s near-rape ordeal has been calculated to ease Anthony’s wooing process. Years from now, they had better have a good child therapist on retainer for the moment when their kids finally ask the inevitable “So how did you guys finally get together” question.

Note also that Anthony is staring at Liz’s ass in the first panel.

I’d say that we’re at least going to get an introduction to Canada’s fascinating, British-derived legal system out of all this, but surely the only law this strip will be obeying is the Law of Narrative Convenience. For starters, who exactly is this bald fellow our power couple is talking to? Ontario’s official Junior Minister for Exposition?

B.C., 10/9/06

Things this deranged B.C. might possibly mean:

1. Columbus’ actions upon his “discovery” of Hispaniola began a legacy of enslavement and genocide that forever tainted the European colonial enterprise in the Americas.
2. What we need are more leaders like Columbus, who don’t let considerations of “political correctness” prevent them from getting done what needs to be done.
3. Them colored folk sure are good at the ball games.
4. MADNESS MADNESS MADNESS

Rex Morgan, M.D., 10/9/06

“Elvis.” Huh. I … I don’t think any of us were expecting that. Well played, Rex Morgan, well played.

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Mary Worth, 10/8/06

So as I was contemplating this strip on my computer screen with Mrs. C. looking over my shoulder, I said, “Boy, Mary sure is looking…” and she said, “LAVENDER?”

She’s right, of course, but the word I was looking for is smug. In fact, this whole quartet of murderers is looking awfully self-satisfied as they get dressed up for one last look at the mangled body of the man they condemned to an early grave. Mary looks in particularly good spirits in the last panel for someone who’s contemplating her degree of responsibility for a poor schmuck’s untimely demise. In fact, the only way that facial expression would make sense to me would be if you replaced “prevented” with “expedited.” “Could we have driven him to suicide even more quickly somehow and saved me some annoyance? What if we had dressed Toby up as the ghost of his dead wife and demanded his soul in exchange for hers? Oh, that would have been delicious! Too bad we’ll never get the chance now…”

Rex Morgan, M.D., 10/8/06

There’s been much buzz in the comments of this site about how and when Heather’s Brigadoon In-Law Adventure and Tommy Lee’s True Tales Of White Trash are going to link up, plot-wise. But now that we know that Milton’s family isn’t a bunch of kilt-wearing, Sassenach-hating Scots snobs but just poor, I propose an elegant solution to the problem: what if these lowlifes are Milton’s family, and Nikki (whose gender I still haven’t been able to figure out) is Milton’s son? You can’t hear accents in dialog balloons, after all. It would be a lot less Ivanhoe and a lot more Trainspotting, but would be entertaining nonetheless.