Post Content

Blondie, 4/16/23

My impression of Blondie and Bumstead’s personal history goes something like this: they has a brief and dissolute young adulthood during the Great Depression during which they met and married one another, after which time they settled into suburban domesticity for the next 90 years of unending middle age, their past vanishing away into mist. Now, does this make any internal sense? No, obviously not, but it still feels right to me and frankly strips like this, which imply that either of them had a life before they met that they can remember, are extremely off-putting. Unless the guy who used to wear this stupid hat was Dagwood himself at some point in their eternal marriage, and Blondie remembers and he can’t! If Blondie can retain memories while Dagwood exists in an undending present, that would explain a lot, although honestly you’d think she’d be a lot angrier.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 4/16/23

Sorry, I cannot simultaneously believe that Rene is such a master of beardcraft that he can create near-impenetrable disguises for spying on his enemies, and yet he still worries that his Dr. Mirakle get up wasn’t good enough for Hank Jr., or was good enough at first but he’ll remember who he was hours later. It doesn’t add up! Unless the goal is for Hank to spot his new disguise to dispel suspicions. “That Mirakle guy reminds me of somebody — can’t put my finger on it — oh, I guess it’s that guy over there with the weird chinbeard and the hat! Must’ve seen him around. Mystery solved!”

Post Content

Rex Morgan, M.D., 4/15/23

Aw, shucks, it looks like Dr. Mirakle really is Rene Belluso after all, cleverly disguised via fake eyebrows, though the question of whether Mud Mountain is a coconspirator or a mark is still up for grabs. Sadly, Rene used to know Hank Sr., so the “kid” Hank Jr. (who is clearly 15 years older than Rene at minimum) might recognize him at some point in the future, despite having had a not particularly brief conversation with him at close range earlier and seeming to not notice anything amiss. The point is that we’re gonna get a boat murder, or at least a boat attempted murder, and I think that’s neat.

Dick Tracy, 4/15/23

Speaking of crimes, Neo-Chicago’s Major Crimes Unit has called in an classic games expert for The Case Of The Guy Who Loves Classic Games Too Much, and check out how Sam is just absolutely embarrassing himself here. “Somebody’s playing cops and robbers and won’t share the dice.” C’mon Sam. Cops and robbers is an open-ended game of make-believe that children play, it isn’t like some structured thing with dice and board pieces and whatever. And what would “sharing” dice even mean in this metaphor? That’s not how dice work! Steve thinks you’re a big idiot! Why can’t you just be normal?

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 4/15/23

Hmm, and how did Loweezy find out about this information, exactly? Sure, everyone knows Snuffy is a notorious layabout and criminal, but usually criminals can be relied upon to keep their mouths shut to protect their associates. But it seems not all the gossip in Hootin’ Holler is exchanged at the gossip fence.

Post Content

Daddy Daze, 4/13/23

As you know, one of my favorite things to speculate about is the backstory on the relationship between the Daddy Daze daddy and the Daddy Daze mommy, who clearly broke up almost immediately after (or maybe even before?) the Daddy Daze baby was born. I think it’s pretty clear who initiated the breakup (her) and why (see the entire run of Daddy Daze from January 30, 2020, to the present, and probably before that too but that’s when I started reading it), and you have to assume that at some point she expects to come into her ex’s house and find him dead, right? Like, that’s just kind of a given, and she’s just hoping the baby makes it? Anyway, I assume that’s why she reacts to the truly disturbing scene in panel one with a mild “oh dear,” instead of the panic and weeping you might expect.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 4/13/23

OK, fine, is that too dark for you? Well, we’re getting dangerously close to the end of the week and are seeing no indication that Mud Mountain Murphy’s strange transformation is anything other than the result of him experiencing personal growth and finding true happiness under the guidance of an eccentric but benevolent guru. I hope your dreams bring you joy and peace! What more could any of us ask for?

Gil Thorp, 4/13/23

Uh oh! Will Coach Hernandez’s quest for revenge end with [SPOILERS FOR A MOVIE FROM 2006] dozens of dead Hernandez clones floating in tanks in the basement under the Milford High auditorium? Here’s hoping!