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Rex Morgan, M.D., 1/19/22

Well, it looks like Rex has only one chance to stave off total financial annihilation in the Case Of The Intellectual Property Violation That Sarah Definitely Did: get Kelly, who served as Sarah’s minder when Sarah first saw the adorable characters she later viciously stole, to lie on the stand about it. The problem: that’s a job for sassy, give-no-fucks Kelly, not dull, goody-goody narc Kelly, but part of giving no fucks means not bothering to go spend a day in a boring-ass courtroom to help anyone else. Rex needs to thread the needle to achieve the perfect balance between the Kelly’s yin and yang, but what looks like the beginning of an eye roll in panel two seems to say that she’s already slipping out of his grasp.

The Lockhorns, 1/19/22

Oh, by the way, it seems that Leroy Lockhorn has finally figured out how to escape his nagging wife: by uploading his mind to the Internet and becoming a being of pure thought. And you know what? Good for him.

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Dick Tracy, 1/14/22

When Apple rolled out the Apple Watch in 2015, probably a lot of comics nerds out there were like “Oh, a watch computer that helps you make phone calls? Just like the wrist wizards from Dick Tracy?” But there are important differences! For instance, thanks to Apple’s legendary quality standards, Apple Watches very rarely overhead and explode, and when they do, they definitely don’t instantly consume the wearer in a vortex of flame, as appears to have happened here.

In other news, if Dick Tracy is contemplating a return to its storied tradition of killing off its villains in cartoonishly horrific ways, I for one am interested, very interested! I’m also interested in hearing Dick tell the paramedics that “I told him to stand still, but he insisted on screaming and writhing around in agony, like a coward.”

Rex Morgan, M.D., 1/14/22

Ha ha, yes, Sarah’s going to crack like an egg when they put her on the stand! I certainly hope that Rene manages to secure the services of his erstwhile mob family’s slick attorney, who will run rings around the Morgans’ bargain basement lawyer.

Mary Worth, 1/14/22

“A Code Oscar is what we call it when a gross, obnoxious slob falls off the boat to his death! If an uptight, prissy neat freak does it, that’s a Code Felix.”

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Mary Worth, 1/11/22

I’ve been to Rome twice in my life, in 1999 and 2002, and by an odd coincidence both visits were at the same time as big events for the veneration of Padre Pio, an early 20th century Franciscan mystic. During his life, Pio claimed (or had claimed about him) all sorts of miraculous powers, such as the ability miraculously cure the sick and be in two places at once, and he also supposedly had spontaneously generated stigmata wounds on his hands. The church hierarchy was very uncomfortable about all this as his reputation and following grew, repeatedly forbidding him from preaching; but after his death, the church began to acknowledge his deeds, and he was beatified during my first visit to Rome and canonized during my second, which meant that both times the city was thronged with Pio’s followers. The experience really stuck with me, and made me think about how as a miracle worker he was disruptive and dangerous to the church while alive — after all, why would this simple monk have these powers, and not the bishops and cardinals who control the church? — but after his death he could be integrated into the larger church narrative about God and humanity and the church’s role in mediating between the two.

Anyway, my point is that you can already see Wilbur, so irritating to everyone while alive, beginning to follow this trajectory now that he has followed another, more literal trajectory into the ocean and his (fingers crossed!) death. Wilbur isn’t being actively obnoxious in her face at this precise moment, so Estelle is allowing herself to indulge in the fantasy that they were “in love” or whatever. Maybe by the time the search for his body is abandoned and the ship return to shore, she’ll be telling everyone she accepted his proposal so she’s really a grieving fiancee! Whatever you need to move on to your new, brighter, Wilbur-free future, we’re all here for you, Estelle.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 1/11/22

Wow, it’s really too bad Sarah decided to use “Doggy” as her new character in the Kitty Kop Extended Universe and not “FOOT.” If she had gone the latter route, her work would’ve attracted a lot more perverts, but also a lot fewer lawsuits, which on balance would probably be for the better.