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“Hello kids, and welcome back to World of Animals — I’m your beloved host, Carl. Well, it seems like it’s been forever, so let’s all catch up — on fascinating Nature Facts from the wonderful World of Animals!”

Family Circus, 9/4/22

“I guess they call them ‘charismatic megafauna’ because they hog all the damn attention! Even out of the mind of babes it’s pretty much mammal, mammal, mammal, except for that ridiculous bug. Barfy there seems as peeved as I am about this: Reptiles are creatures, too!“

Mark Trail, 9/4/22

“‘Armored body,’ indeed—it looks like somebody is trying to grab a little of that turtle élan. And everybody knows leprosy is just the poor mammal’s salmonella. How would you like it if we reptiles put on hair and pretended to be like you?”

“Not much, I bet!”

Phantom, 9/4/22 (panel)

“Now, I’m not saying mammals don’t have their uses—like, say, if you’re a dead guy trying to guard the tomb of a different dead guy.”

Slylock Fox, 9/4/22 (panel)

“But if you want a real pal—to light your way in the darkness, sound the alarm, or take care of the kids—you can’t go wrong with Class Reptilia. It’s true!

Thank you for your kind attention.

— Turtle Carl

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Judge Parker, 8/28/22

It’s excruciating watching poor Marie’s unspoken pleading as Abbey looks past and through her, slamming back those screwdrivers. “B-but this is my home, too, isn’t it? And you’re all my friends—my f-family, right?” At least Abbey has the grace to condescend to Marie’s “want it or think it” Junior Therapist schtick before checking out “Westin Resort Caribbean” on her phone while Marie fetches another screwdriver.

And final panel aside, Abbey won’t really scream: it would interfere with her talking, and this is Judge Parker.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 8/28/22

Welcome back to “Buck and Truck talk on the phone,” a continuing series.

Hey, isn’t “went off the grid and was presumed dead but came back” Truck‘s backstory? What if Mud Mountain Murphy—and every other Roots Country act—is actually just Truck Tyler through an Instagram filter, squishing up his mouth to sound a little different? It would explain Truck’s last-panel frustration at having to maintain the fiction in a live show! And it would reveal Buck as the masterm…. OK, I can’t finish.

Gotta say they missed an opportunity naming “Mud Mountain” Murphy: “Buck, Truck, and Muck” was right there.

Slylock Fox (panel), 8/28/22

“Why does Slylock Fox suspect Cassandra may be lying?” Because she’s Cassandra Cat, for crying out loud! She lies as she breathes, as Reeky Rat burgles, Shady Shrew pilfers, and Slick Smitty cons. And blue hair or no, she looks great doing it! Play your cards right and I bet she even springs for Meg’s Flea Dip special, you lucky fox!

–Uncle Lumpy

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Panel from Slylock Fox, 8/21/22

You ever think that Count Weirdly is just kind of greedy? I mean, he already has an extremely cool customized rocket-plane that’s already capable of outrunning Slylock’s fox-jet to his Antarctic lair (YES BECAUSE OF THE GROUND, YOU SEE, I GUESS WE’D USE A DIFFERENT WORD FOR THE UNDERSEA FLOOR). Getting the plans for another top secret plane just seems like it’s redundant. Will the new plane have bat wings? No? How cool could it possibly be, then?

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 8/21/22

Ironically, the only reason Loweezy had to pay a doctor’s bill in the first place is because Snuffy set himself on fire siphoning that gasoline out of a flatlander’s car. You really can’t get ahead in this economy!