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Big Daddy Keane knows Disney’s lawyers will come down on him hard if he even thinks about it

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Judge Parker, 1/13/17

“To Marie! To Katherine! To April, if she weren’t already missing! To Godiva Danube, except I think she’s been written out of this strip! To one of any number of other improbably busty women who’ve come in and out of our lives! But not to me! I’m a man! Men don’t get kidnapped! Unlike the teenage boys who did get kidnapped! They don’t count! That’s why I’m wearing this dumb hat and growing out my beard! To protect myself!”

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 1/13/17

Snuffy plans to put the poor tortured fighting cock out of its misery by killing and eating it, in a look at the blunt realities of life on the farm that’s maybe a little blunter than we’re used to from this strip.

Family Circus, 1/13/17

Oh, man, look at Big Daddy Keane’s dead-eyed stare. That’s a man who’s realized that you can control their screen time, you can put a wall around the Kompound, but nothing you can do can keep out … the brands.

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Ecstacy and agony

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Hey guys, a couple reminders/updates for you re: the new site design:

  • There’s a new site design! Please email me at jfruh@jfruh.com if you see any problems. Faithful Web designer Adam Norwood and I are working on fixing some layout issues in older browsers; we’ve implemented some suggested changes, like tightening the spaces in the comments and bolding commenter names, and are plotting some more.
  • For $3 a month, you can now become a Comics Curmudgeon Supporter! Click here for details, but the short version is you get an ad-free version of the site and advanced commenting features. Your credit card will be charged once a month and can cancel any time.
  • Speaking of memberships, we fixed a bug where when you signed up your default commenting name was your real name — now it defaults to the user name you chose. (Older users still have to switch manually, apologies! You can do so by clicking on “your profile” at the top of the screen.)

That’s it for now! Enjoy, and email me with bug reports which we’ll hop on, and feature requests which we’ll consider!

Mary Worth, 1/12/17

It’s sad to me that Iris was so mortified by her inappropriate dress for that concert that Zak had to spend all his time consoling her and complimenting her outfit rather than really cutting loose and dancing to the stylings of “Maggio Nollaig” (a name that I haven’t mentioned here before but I swear to God I didn’t make up). Or maybe he means “dance” in a more specialized way. Like, maybe he means “flail about the severed arm of my enemy, which is definitely what you’re seeing at the bottom of panel two, since there’s no way that hand is connected to my body.”

Dennis the Menace, 1/12/17

It’s time to ask ourselves: who’s the real menace in the idyllic suburban neighborhood where the Mitchells and Wilsons live? Is it the innocent young boy who means well but who, like many his age, doesn’t have much of a filter or an understanding of social niceties? Or is George “Single Bead Of Rage-Sweat” Wilson, a bitter old man perpetually on the verge of an explosion, willing to take out his bottomless supply of rage on his wife, the neighbors, or even hapless robots who make the mistake of calling his home?

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Whatever he’s doing, it looks like he’s wrenched his neck terribly doing it

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Hey guys, a couple reminders/updates for you re: the new site design:

  • There’s a new site design! Please email me at jfruh@jfruh.com if you see any problems. Faithful Web designer Adam Norwood and I are working on fixing some layout issues in older browsers, and implementing some requested spacing tweaks.
  • For $3 a month, you can now become a Comics Curmudgeon Supporter! Click here for details, but the short version is you get an ad-free version of the site and advanced commenting features. Your credit card will be charged once a month and can cancel any time.
  • A note to those who’ve already signed up: at the moment, your commenting display name defaults to the real name you’ve signed up with, but you can change that to your username (among other things) by clicking on “Your Profile” at the top of the page. We’re working on setting this so it defaults to your username.

That’s it for now! Enjoy, and let me know if you’re having troubles!

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 1/11/17

Haha, this is just a little game Loweezy and Elviney like to play with each other! In fact, ever since the widespread social and economic collapse several generations back that left Hootin’ Holler completely isolated from whatever other pockets of civilization might still survive, no tropical crops like “coffee” or “tea” have ever been seen by the locals. Elviney and Loweezy are drinking a barely palatable homebrew, made from bark and roots, just like they do every morning, giving it the whimsical names of the exotic beverages they only know about from tattered books.

Funky Winkerbean, 1/11/17

You know, they say that when you write a “continuity” strip, you have to work on the assumption that your readers only actually check in three or four days a week, which is why you get the repetition I routinely mock here. Today’s Funky Winkerbean really plays with that expectation; if you hadn’t seen yesterday’s strip, you’d assume from the first panel that Cliff Anger and his girlfriend had just finished up a vigorous and fully clothed lovemaking session after a long hiatus, only to discover in panel two that in fact they were just speaking extremely unnaturally about eating a meal in a restaurant. If you had seen yesterday’s strip, though, you’d assume they’d just finished up a vigorous and fully clothed lovemaking session at Los Angeles’s famous Brown Derby restaurant, an act that would’ve been frowned upon even in the club’s wild heyday. Panel two probably came as a great relief!