Post Content

Six Chix, 9/15/17

My occasionally achy body, my bifocals, and the act of subtracting 1974 from the current year all conspire to inform me that I am indisputably in my middle age. This happens to all of us, if we’re lucky; my main goal as an increasingly older person is to not be so out of touch with young people that my image of them becomes completely divorced from any plausible reality. Like, young people, ha ha! Always with the writing their own vows, and the non-monogamy, and the “Is this, like, a hypothetical?” catchphrase that they probably got from Gossip Girl or rap music! You know? Not virtuous, like we were when we were young!

Pluggers, 9/15/17

On this topic, I am reasonably certain that there’s at least one Pluggers panel from the mid-’00s that features an irritated manimal being technologically overwhelmed by having to deal with a then-state-of-the-art device that we would only now anachronistically call a “flip phone.” Time makes pluggers of us all, is what I’m saying.

Blondie, 9/15/17

As the parents of teens, one would expect Blondie and Dagwood to be in their mid-50s at the high end and perhaps as young as 40, so the idea that Dagwood finds omnipresent technology like tablets or smartphones baffling rings false. I do 100% approve of his decision, between panels two and three, to theatrically turn his pockets inside out. That’s the kind of solid commitment to shtick that really keep a marriage lively!

Post Content

Mary Worth, 9/14/17

“Principles, Dawn! Principles! What are we without them? Just a seething mass of lust, abandoning society’s rules and our own moral compass whenever we see a handsome slab of man-meat who presses our buttons? Like, maybe you go to New York and meet a handsome Broadway legend who’s super into you and you entertain the thought for a while but eventually you go home to your drippy boyfriend who you’re never, ever going to marry. Because of principles, OK? You tell your friend that, Dawn. You tell your friend that.”

Beetle Bailey, 9/14/17

I’m not usually one to judge other people’s recreational substance use, but I don’t think the fact that Sarge is huffing paint first thing in the morning is a great sign about how his life is going.

Post Content

Mark Trail, 9/13/17

Now look, folks, I’m just a simple city boy. I’m used to God’s honest American landscape, where you never have to walk more than 10 minutes to get to a bus stop and you can get Thai delivery anywhere. So forgive me if I’m a little naive about how things work out in the countryside. But … when there’s a tornado coming, it doesn’t affect horses more strongly than other creatures or objects, right? It doesn’t pull them upright with mysterious force and leave humans standing around just feet away unaffected? Horses don’t stand on their hind legs in mysterious circles, whinnying up to their Wind God to take them up to the Sky Pasture before smiting the earth and the Saddling Ones upon it with His mighty hoof? That’s … not a thing that happens, right?

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 9/13/17

Lukey claims Elviney’s going to give him the business about spending the day goofing off. I think he’s honestly more worried that, once again, she’s going to make him feel like a fool by gently reminding him that, in order to catch fish, you have to actually cast your line into the water, not out into the bushes in the complete opposite direction.