Post Content

Funky Winkerbean, 5/23/17

Crazy Harry is one of those characters who Funky Winkerbean has never really figured out what to do with, post-time jump. His nickname is a callback to his amusing eccentricities during the wacky teen version of the strip, but now mostly is a sad reminder of his pervasive anxiety and depression. Anyway, you may think this is a strip about a man so out of touch with reality that he doesn’t recognize what ordinary household products like shampoo look like, and it is of course about that, but it’s also keeping with the strip’s canon about one of Crazy Harry’s business ideas/hobbies: digitizing VHS tapes. So maybe it’s Crazy Harry’s wife who’s confused here? Anyway, the point is, somebody couldn’t resist the “what if a person thought ‘head cleaner’ was another word for shampoo” joke, even though they literally stopped making VCRs last year.

Gil Thorp, 5/23/17

“I’d say it was news — in another time and another place. Specifically, in a time and place where domestic abuse allegations have long-term consequences for elite athletes. That time and place certainly isn’t here and now, ha ha!”

Post Content

Mary Worth, 5/22/17

Oh, did you think that Entertainer Esmé’s sinister plan to win Derek’s love by locking his wife Katie in a Haitian bathroom failed just because Derek quickly found and rescued her? Well, you’ve got another thing coming! Look at the sinister, knowing way she’s gazing down at the grateful but rattled Hoosiers. Obviously she never expected Katie to stay in that bathroom for long. Obviously that was just the first move in a very long game of sexual chess that ends with Derek as her lover. I remain extremely here for this storyline, is what I’m saying.

Marvin, 5/22/17

I don’t really keep up with the “game show scene” so I had to actually Google to see if Can You Top This? were a real game show. It’s not, unless you want to count an “unrehearsed” “radio panel game” from the 1940’s “in which comedians told jokes and tried to top one another”, which, around here we call that a podcast, not a game show. Anyway, it took me a minute to realize that, unlike poor Bubba Watson, Drew Carey isn’t quite being referred to by name here, which makes sense because you’d think drawing a public figure presiding over a game show where dead-eyed contestants describe getting hit in the face with streams of urine would open you up to lawsuits.

Blondie, 5/22/17

Ha ha, it’s funny because Mr. Dithers’s wife doesn’t want to spend time with him!

Pluggers, 5/22/17

Pluggers’ day-to-day lives involve coming up with coping strategies as their accumulated filth piles up around them. It’s really quite sad!

Post Content

Mary Worth, 5/21/17

Oh, wow, Derek is absolutely furious here and I love it. “We left the States to get some peace… only to get this! My wife was briefly unable to open a bathroom door, which is definitely the worst thing to ever happen to an American overseas! Fuck foreign countries, man! I’m going home and running for Congress on a ‘Build A Protective Dome Around America Which Neither Heat Nor Light Can Penetrate’ platform!”

Blondie, 5/21/17

I’m giving you the whole comic for context, but mostly I’m posting this so you can understand why the phrase “WOO-HOO! BABY CAMEL GONNA CHUG SOME H₂0” will be haunting my nightmares — and, presumably, yours — for years to come.

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 5/21/17

But … Barney, you’re wearing a bowler cap and a vest and white gloves and you’re riding a horse and … oh, God, he doesn’t know, he can recognize that others are trapped forever in time like a fly in a spider’s web but can’t recognize that he’s in the same prison, this is a nightmare