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Curtis, 11/13/16

I’m going to start out by saying something nice about a comic, for once! Say what you will about Curtis, but, unlike a lot of the strips I talk about on this blog, it never phones it in. The gag here is one we’ve seen a lot in the strip, but I really enjoy watching the little details of Curtis assembling his three-sandwich stack over the course of this conversation, up to and including him licking mayo off his knife, like you do (or at least like I do). The realism is a nice setup for him to dash off in the final panel, leaving a cartoonish cloud of sandwich debris in his wake.

Dennis the Menace, 11/13/16

It’s weird that everyone’s acting like this is Joey’s brand new baby sister despite the fact that she’s clearly at least 18 months old, right? Of course, her eyes are a terrifying, milky, pupil-less blue, so she’s also clearly a space alien or a demon from hell. Presumably she hatched from a leathery egg twenty minutes ago and has used her awful mental powers to convince the children that she’s always been here and that her nightmarish agenda for our planet is “wonderful” and “so cool.”

Spider-Man, 11/13/16

So when earlier this week we learned that Spidey had webbed a camera to the ceiling of Egghead’s den, I assumed that the writers were working with a vague memory that he had set a camera up at some point earlier in the storyline but had forgotten that in fact that camera was in a tree out in the front yard. But, nope! Turns out that in fact Spidey just ran outside and got said camera moments after JJJ bonked Egghead unconscious. This is hilarious in and of itself, but it’s even more hilarious that experienced newspaperman Jameson is just now putting together how suspicious that all is. I’m looking forward to how this plays out, what with the NEXT narration box giving Spider-Man the exact opposite of standard good advice.

Panel from Slylock Fox, 11/13/16

This is definitely one of Slylock’s most giggle-worthy mysteries to date, from the crime itself — do we want to live in a world where it’s illegal to mess with dandyish beavers by forcing them to watch televised chess? — to the puzzle’s solution. Look, Count Weirdly is weird! It’s right there in the name! Maybe he likes to eat his soup with a fork. Maybe that’s why it’s taken him 15 minutes to eat a single bowl of broth!

Shoe, 11/13/16

Wow, I’m not sure what strip I expected to see discussing the corrosive effects of corporate capitalism on the human soul today, but it sure wasn’t Shoe!

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Six Chix, 11/12/16

FUN FACT: did you know that the Andrew Lloyd Weber Phantom of the Opera has made more money over the years than any other work of entertainment in the history of the human race? I learned this on the musical’s Wikipedia page, where I also learned that the 30th anniversary of its premiere performance in London wasn’t today but actually about five weeks ago, which is suspiciously close to the lead time for getting a newspaper comic published. The lesson is that you’ll never go broke overestimating humanity’s appetite for schmaltz (as someone who had to play multiple Andrew Lloyd Weber medleys in high school band, I feel I earned the right to make this artistic assessment), and that if you really care about memorializing something, maybe plan it in advance?

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 11/12/16

Look, I get it, BG&SS creative team, making a joke about Miss Prunelly and Uriah fucking is just too tempting. And it’s also obviously tempting to run it more than once, since what’s the point of having years of archives and an audience that reads three days a week on average and retains very little if not to cut corners once in a while? But it does seem weird to use the same joke twice in two years but redraw the art. Like, the art is the hard part? At least now Uriah has given up his sex-shame and wears his lover’s Goth Kiss with a smile.

Mary Worth, 11/12/16

Oh, also, Wilbur’s basically spent this entire week getting dumped? I always thought I’d feel something in this situation. A little more joy, I dunno. What’s wrong with me that I can’t take delight in Wilbur’s pain?

Mark Trail, 11/12/16

NNNggghgh, maybe it’s because my system’s too oversaturated with all the literal fiery death in Mark Trail! The chopper explosions might be over, but at least we have chunks of volcanic debris falling from the sky. Just hook it up to my veins!!!!!

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Without any ado at all: here’s your comment of the week!

“‘The Falcon & Guzzwanker’ are a ‘Morning Zoo’-style radio team. What ‘Morning Zoo’ means in the Shoeverse is anybody’s guess.” –Horn O’Plenty, on Twitter

And here are your runners up! Very funny.

“Precinct is a funny word. Try it. Precinct. Precinct, precinct, precinct. See? I daresay it’s the funniest part of this strip.” –Proteus454

“A 3 month time jump and two people directly involved in an event that would certainly involve multiple criminal cases and civil lawsuits are living in Alaska, presumably far, far from the scene. Sam must be a much better lawyer than we thought.” –UncleJeff

“Finally, Ces’s master plan is revealed: He’s going to turn Judge Parker into a grittier, more realistic remake of Moose and Molly. It has always bugged the hell out of him that Moose Miller is not an actual moose.” –Peanut Gallery

“Looks like someone’s getting his penis hot-glued to his thigh while he sleeps!” –Steve S

“Uh, Vic, when you make copies of money you should get color copies.” –Liam

“And with control of the newspaper comes control of the NATION! Stop laughing, guys, I’m serious.” –Chyron HR

“The fire ants have not only developed trebuchets, but they understand the danger enemy air supremacy poses.” –Voshkod

“Interesting choice for Wilbur to channel Darth Vader. ‘If you came with me, we could explore the world together as blogger and mom.’” –Mr. Bunn

“I like how Wilbur is pitching this as a fun voyage of exploration instead of what it actually is: a miserable global search for survivors of tragedy. C’mon, Iris, don’t you want to be able to learn the phrase for ‘Sorry for your loss but can you please speak into the mic’ in a dozen different languages?” –pugfuggly

“I’ve never realized this before, but Charterstone is apparently a gated community. I’m certainly glad that its fixed-income retirees, food-service workers, and mid-level university and newspaper employees are safe from having their belongings stolen by the criminal underworld that surely infests this idyllic beach town. (Oh, but P.S.: The drug addicts are on the inside!)” –BigTed

“I never thought it’d be Mark Trail that’d fill the Mythbusters-shaped hole in my life, but I’m not going to look a gift horse shown exploding from multiple angles in the mouth.” –Truckosaurus

“OK, so in this bird-society that practices the death penalty, what exactly is this ‘electric chair’? A Kenny Rogers Roaster?” –Dood

“I know I could have just said I put a camera here, but I’m the insufferable type. So really, it’s a delayed-action camera. I use a Leica M-series rangefinder, and recently I upgraded to a Leica Monochrom M because I like the shutter speed. I like a good lens and something to indicate depth of field — hey, wait, where are you guys going??” –Chareth Cutestory

“Hoping that boat explodes too. In fact, hoping Mark Trail becomes a never-ending roll of amusing onomatopoeic transport-splosions. ‘Hey, Abbey’s hovercraft!’ BLOOOSH ‘Hey, Abbey’s zeppelin!’ WHAAANG ‘Hey, Abbey’s ekranoplan!’ KLAAAAM” –Schroduck

“It comforts me slightly to know that Crankshaft will be made wretched by the inexorable march of progress until the day death takes him.” –TheDiva

“He may have ripped out the back or his coat, but I’m glad he can still wear his belt of big toes. Wear it with pride, Snuffy.” –greenantler

Thanks to everyone who put some scratch in my tip jar! And let’s give thanks to our advertisers:

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