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Comment of the Week

My little friend is not so little anymore, Toby! In fact, she's quite large! Enormous, in fact! Nine foot six and getting taller by the day! It's actually quite alarming! We're getting into I'm a Virgo territory here! Did you watch that miniseries, by the way? It was on Amazon Prime a couple of years ago! Jharrel Jerome is a treasure! Some great performances by Elijah Wood and Walton Goggins as well, which reminds me that I need to start my Justified rewatch. Oh, Margo Martindale is another treasure, especially as a voice in BoJack Horseman. Anyway, Olive is a giant, is the point I'm trying to make.

—els
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Circle of life Friday

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B.C., 1/22/18

As I’ve noted in the past here, there are three members of the B.C. main cast — Thor, Peter, and the title character — who are drawn almost exactly alike and have no really distinctive personality traits, and thus I can never tell them apart, despite the fact that I’ve read this strip daily for more than ten years. That’s why I’m very much in favor of the strip’s new policy of having these guys refer to each other by name in every conversation! Too bad it’s only happening now, just as B.C. and Peter have entombed themselves in a midden than they’ve built on a desolate, snow-covered landscape.

Six Chix, 1/22/18

OK, I’m vaguely disgusted with how human bodies and biological life in general works, but I try not to get grossed out by the miracle of reproduction. Still, this is weird, right? Just a bunch of pregnant life forms, lying around, bulging in a fecund manner? Do fish even carry eggs internally at any stage in their lifecycle? How’d that rat in the terrarium (?) get pregnant? Was there a big insemination party for all these guys? WHY IS THIS A JOKE? WHY IS THIS HAPPENING

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America’s military slims down, literally

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Beetle Bailey, 1/21/16

It’s sad to see these two men wrapped up in the beauty myth’s shared delusion, cheering each other on as they laugh in the face of their bodies’ suffering. “Ha ha,” says Sarge, “my stomach is literally begging for food, but my deluded mind interprets this as a good thing! Let’s look at pictures of thigh gaps on thinspo tumblrs!”

Mary Worth, 1/21/16

ALERT: JOHN DILL STILL SEXUALLY OBSESSED WITH MARY WORTH, REPEAT, THE JOHN-DILL-WANTS-MARY’S-BOD PLOTLINE LAST SEEN THREE YEARS AGO IS STILL GOING STRONG

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I would’ve gone with “grampy,” but you can’t have everything

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Crankshaft, 1/20/16

One of Crankshaft’s running jokes/verbal tics is calling Google “Granpa Google,” which I actually sort of like. It’s fun and whimsical to imagine Google as a helpful, chatty elderly relative, rather than what it actually is, which is to say an unthinkably vast database of information with a shockingly efficient search algorithm owned by an immensely powerful and inscrutable dystopian corporation. At any rate, Granpa’s got this one wrong! A real anti-matter brownie would in fact instantly explode into an tremendous blast of destructive energy the moment it came in contact with the air, wiping out these bus drivers and everyone else for miles around, which, you know, we should be so lucky.

Wizard of Id, 1/20/16

As like a million people pointed out to me when I wondered about it, the new-ish artist of Wizard of Id is none other than Mason Mastroianni, grandson of strip co-creator Johnny Hart. Considering how famously devout Hart was, it’s interesting that the big innovations in this strip over the past few weeks have been highly sexualized supernatural beings.